Exploring Surprising Facts About Sexual Intimacy

Updated October 7, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Sexual intimacy is a vast topic that can mean many different things depending on who you ask. Some people feel uncomfortable discussing sexual issues with their partners or close friends, making it easy for them to lack helpful knowledge about sex and intimacy. Read on to explore surprising facts you may not have known about sexual intimacy and how couples therapy can help you build closeness with your partner.

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Are you curious about how sexual intimacy affects relationships?

What is sexual intimacy?

Sexual intimacy is the feelings of safety, satisfaction, and closeness sexual partners have. When two people with an emotional connection have a sexual relationship, they may develop sexual intimacy. While it is possible to have sex without intimacy, many people find that it enhances the experience significantly. 

  • Emotional Intimacy: Complex feelings of love, trust, and closeness. 

  • Physical Intimacy: Non-sexual touching, such as cuddling, hand holding, hugging, etc., that may enhance the feeling of closeness with your partner and inspire desire

  • Sexual Intimacy: The combination of physical touch during sexual activity with the closeness and trust of emotional intimacy. 

“When you’re having sex, your vaginal canal can get longer to accommodate penetration. Sexual arousal forces your cervix and uterus to lift up and out of the way, which causes the upper two-thirds of your vagina to lengthen.” — Healthline

How to talk about sex with your partner

  • Start slowly if you’re uncomfortable or nervous.

  • Focus on the intimacy you have and how your partner makes you feel. 

  • Learn to express yourself. If they touch you in a way you like, tell them. Talk about your boundaries, fantasies, and what makes you sexually curious. 

  • Check in with each other often to ensure you know how to please each other. 

Exploring surprising facts about sexual intimacy

You may be shocked to learn some of the following facts about sex and intimacy in romantic relationships. Expand your knowledge base and learn some interesting, fun sex facts you can have with your partner. 

Are hickeys dangerous?

Hickeys, also often called love bites, are seen in various ways by different people, ranging from a mild inconvenience or embarrassing souvenir of an encounter to potentially dangerous. Generally, hickeys are located on the neck and form a harmless dark bruise when the blood vessels break after your partner applies suction. Typically, these blood vessels are small capillaries just below the skin, and break in much the same way they would with any other kind of bruising.

However, if your partner gives you a love bite too hard over a vein or artery, especially a major pathway like the carotid artery in the neck, it could lead to a blood clot that could cause significant problems. A blood clot could block blood flow to important areas of the body, leading to serious medical issues.

The penis can shrink if it’s not used

While “Use it or lose it” may be a cliché, it may be true for some men. Penis shrinkage can occur in men who don’t experience regular erections. Steady blood flow to the penis supports penile health and increases muscle tone, but various health conditions can prevent sufficient blood flow. Without proper blood flow, men may experience a one to two-centimeter loss of penis length. 

High heels can make it harder to orgasm

Studies show that toe-curling orgasms often create the same arch in the foot as high heels, potentially leading to decreased sensitivity and additional challenges in achieving orgasm. Wearing high heels engages the same pelvic muscles women use while climaxing. If you wear them often, those muscles are constantly engaged—which can decrease your sensitivity.  

Scientists studied the average number of thrusts during sex

Many people may wonder how they measure up against the average, and sex is no exception. A study measuring the friction-relieving properties of a condom coating determined that sexual intercourse lasts an average of 100 to 500 thrusts—approximately three to seven minutes for those who measure by time.   

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Love isn’t just for fairytales—it makes sex better

While you can certainly have sex without feeling love for your partner, studies show that the emotional connection you feel can make sex more satisfying. The feelings of love, commitment, and emotional intimacy can increase sexual satisfaction. 

Sex is healthy for you…

Regular sexual activity can provide several health benefits, such as lower blood pressure, improved heart health and reduced risk of heart disease, improved memory and sleep, stress reduction, and increased self-esteem.

…but it kills more than you’d think

Studies show that approximately one in 500,000 men die during sex from a sudden cardiovascular event. Additionally, facts show that between 250 and 1000 people die each year from autoerotic asphyxiation—intentionally restricting oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal is dangerous. 

Sexual stimulation can be effective pain relief

When you're sexually aroused, your brain releases endorphins. Sex and sexual touch can be natural painkillers on top of their other health benefits. 

Lubrication increases orgasm chance

Lube can be your best friend during sex. Using lube during intercourse helps ease vaginal and reduce the chance of tearing while increasing the pleasure and satisfaction women feel. 

Semen is low in calories

While the average male ejaculation isn’t going to provide much nourishment in less than a teaspoon, semen does have nutritional content and generally between three to seven calories. 

“Sperm contains vitamin C, B12, ascorbic acid, calcium, citric acid, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, zinc, potassium, sodium, fat, and hundreds of different proteins. But don't quit your daily vitamin just yet.” — Dr. Michael Reitano

You can have an orgasm in your sleep

While you may think “wet dreams,” also called sleep orgasms and nocturnal emissions, only happen to pubescent boys, studies show that adults can achieve orgasms during erotic dreams, and women can experience wet dreams too. 

Frequent orgasms can reduce prostate cancer risk and improve sperm quality

Studies show that frequent orgasms may reduce the risk of prostate cancer in men 50 and older. Men who ejaculated daily had higher quality semen and more viable sperm in a 2009 study.

The vagina can grow with arousal

Sexual health educators say the vagina can almost double in length when a woman is aroused. During a process called vaginal tenting, muscle tension related to desire and arousal makes the vagina grow from an average of three to four inches up to five to six inches, allowing for penetration. 

“When you’re having sex, your vaginal canal can get longer to accommodate penetration. Sexual arousal forces your cervix and uterus to lift up and out of the way, which causes the upper two-thirds of your vagina to lengthen.” — Healthline

Clitoral stimulation is required for orgasm in 75% of women

Most women need more than vaginal intercourse to achieve orgasm. Studies show that only 25% of women consistently orgasm from penetration alone. If you’re not climaxing during sex, try adding clitoral stimulation to your sexual routine. 

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Are you curious about how sexual intimacy affects relationships?

Intimacy often matters more than orgasms as you age

Humans naturally undergo changes to their bodies and sex drives as they age. As you experience different levels of desire and ability to engage in sex, you may find that intimacy with your partner matters more than orgasms. However, you should be aware that the importance of non-sexual physical contact may increase as it contributes to the intimacy you have. 

Crying after sex can be common

If you've ever cried after sex or been with someone who has, it can leave you feeling confused, upset, and wondering what went wrong. Many people feel intense sadness, anger, or even emotional distress after an orgasm, a condition called post-coital dysphoria. 

Sex myths it’s time to stop believing

How therapy can help you build sexual intimacy

Many couples have uneasy sexual intimacy because they don’t know how to talk about sex. Consider working with a licensed couples therapist through a virtual teletherapy platform focused on relationship issues like Regain. Therapy can help you identify and address relationship hangups and help you find healthy ways to discuss sex and intimacy with your partner through developing communication skills.

Recent research indicates no substantial difference in online and in-person couples therapy outcomes. Both groups showed an increase in relationship satisfaction and communication efficiency. Virtual treatments offer the added benefits of being more cost-effective, having shorter wait times, and providing a much more comprehensive selection of therapists. Studies show that individual therapy is also equally effective online and face-to-face.

Takeaway 

Sexual intimacy can significantly impact the health and success of a relationship. The information provided in this article may offer insight into surprising facts about sexual intimacy and how therapy can help couples find healthy ways to improve their sex life.

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