Compliments For Men: What Your Husband Longs To Hear

Many men come across as very confident. Prevalent gender stereotypes imply that men are expected to be extroverted, sure of themselves, and direct, so many men may put forth that image whether or not they truly feel that way. For many, a rigid type of masculinity can be a façade not based at all on the reality of a man’s true feelings. 

Sometimes, men will strive to put on a brave face in front of their loved ones, feeling compelled not to “be a burden” because they “should be able to handle challenges on their own,” as a “real man” does. Here are some compliments to give your spouse to show them that you love them for their authentic selves, that you accept their flaws, and that you admire how they endeavor to improve themselves constantly. These compliments can help a man feel confident enough to present themselves fully without changing parts that they believe society will not accept.

Compliment work ethic

Many men pride themselves on being hard workers for various reasons. Some want to be good financial providers for their families, while others love the career path and want to pursue as many opportunities as possible. Hard workers tend to spend a lot of time working long hours and may be away from home more; this is especially true of people with an addiction to their work.

If the amount of time your husband is spending working is making you upset, you're welcome to address it with them. This can serve as an excellent opportunity to compliment them, as well. Always start with the compliment first and then follow up with any concerns. 

For example, you could say something like, "I admire how much hard work you do, and it's inspiring to see how far you've already come in your career. I also really love you and spending time with you. Do you think we could think of a way to balance your work life and home life better? I want to see you more." The more you communicate, the better off you both will be.

Compliments their contributions to your life

Your man desires to be a positive force in your life. If your husband is exactly that, make sure they know it and don't leave them wondering. At the beginning of most relationships, it's simple to complement each other because it's the honeymoon stage. You both are learning new things about the other every day, so there's always something new to comment on that you like. 

When two people have been in a relationship for a long time, it can become easier and easier to forget to give compliments. Couples grow complacent, and resentment or hurt feelings can easily start to creep into the relationship. 

To counter this and to avoid taking your husband for granted, dish out compliments as they arise. When you notice them doing something you appreciate or love about them, say so. They'd love to hear how much you enjoy having them in your life. Everyone wants to know they're loved and appreciated. Be specific, and share exactly how their contribution brings you happiness, comfort, or ease.

Compliment character

Character compliments can mean a lot to your man because it's not complimenting them on something they are doing or accomplishing; it's about who they are as a person. This could involve letting them know how much you appreciate their honesty, integrity, or sense of humor.

Think about the character traits that made you fall in love with them first and then offer compliments about them. You can also take some time to look at areas that have grown as a person since the two of you have been together and compliment them on those.

Compliment appearance

The public eye gives a lot of attention to women and how they struggle with their self-esteem around their looks. You don't hear much about this on men's side, but that doesn't mean it isn't a struggle. An article on Healthline discusses that large campaigns are being run to help women with positive body image regardless of their size, but the same isn't true for men.

While women have to compare themselves to the unrealistic images of supermodels and Barbie, men are left trying to live up to the standards of superheroes and the actors that play them, professional athletes, and the like. It's an image that not many men can meet, and not one that they should feel compelled to meet.

Maybe you can relate to struggles around body image. If so, you know how meaningful and reassuring it can be to receive compliments about your physical appearance. Therefore, you should try to do the same for your husband. Whether it's a compliment about their smile, new outfit, haircut, improvements from a workout routine or diet they've been trying, or something else entirely, go ahead and lay it out there. 

No compliment is too small or too large, and each one will likely be appreciated. You're sure to make their day when they hear their favorite person has something positive to say about how they look.

Consistency matters

If you want to help your man feel good and boost their self-esteem, then remember that consistency matters. It's not just about showering them with compliments for a day and then forgetting about it for the next few months. Aim to complement them once a day, or even more often if you can make that a pattern. 

It can be hard to get used to giving regular compliments if you're not already doing it, but putting in the effort to make dishing out compliments a habit of yours will likely be worthwhile. You can set a reminder on your phone or make a little note until you automatically start to remember without needing those little nudges.

Be authentic

The point of giving out compliments isn't just to put words into the air. The true intention behind being complimented regularly is to make your husband feel good and speak the truth. If you are saying things that aren't true, that you don't believe, or that aren't authentic, they will be able to pick up on it. You don't have to go over the top; you need to make sure you're truthful. 

The smallest comments go a long way, so don't feel pressured to come up with elaborate compliments. Let them know why they're appreciated and awesome. Anyone can compliment another person, but it'll be even more special coming from you—that means you don't need to strive or say things that your true self wouldn't say.

Surprise them

Look for creative ways that you can pass compliments along to your husband. Don't just say the same thing every time or always do it in the same way. Maybe sometimes you will give them a compliment in passing and other times you'll write a nice letter. You could surprise them with a quick text letting them know something you appreciate about them as those thoughts come up. Or you could put a little note on their car or in their briefcase.

You can also be direct about it or compliment them on social media so everyone can see; some will appreciate this gesture while it may not mean as much to others. Doing so can boost confidence as they see that you're so proud of them and aren't afraid to let everyone know.

Your actions act as a compliment

Sometimes it's not so much what you say that compliments your man; it's what you do. One such response said, "A man wants a person they can feel proud to have on their arm and who loves only them. I remember while we were courting that I told them on my arm was where I always wanted them, and that still holds today."

Another said, "The person of my dreams takes pride in themselves and works to maintain their health to be desirable and attractive while aging gracefully into maturity, not seeking youth, but wisdom, grace, and inner beauty."

Your husband married you because they love you as you are. Seeking to be true to yourself and genuine in all of your actions will make you someone your guy is happy to have by their side. 

When you prioritize showing love in all that you do, it is easier to receive love in return. While giving out compliments in words is important, so is showing them in your actions. Even doing small things to show your appreciation for your husband can go a long way.

Struggling to think of compliments?

If your marriage is going through a rough time, you might struggle to compliment your husband. Note that the information in this article is not meant for people – men or women – who are in abusive relationships. Abuse is not OK in any form, and if you're in an abusive relationship, it is imperative to get yourself into a safe location where you can get help to figure out your next steps. You can, at any time, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline website or call 800-799-7322.

If you're going through a rough patch in your marriage, compliments might be able to help. If you and your husband haven't been getting along like you usually do, the odds are high that not many kind words or compliments have been exchanged lately. Something that can help is taking the initiative and making the first move by complimenting them on something. While this doesn't always fix everything, it can go a long way in changing the mood in your marriage. 

Compliments alone can't heal a broken or struggling marriage, but they can be a simple way to start. All this being said, whether your marriage is going strong or you think it has some room for improvement, complimenting your man can do a lot to help them feel good and boost their confidence.

Does your relationship need nurturing?

If your marriage is struggling or you want to improve the connection between you and your husband, talking to a marriage counselor can help. At Regain, licensed therapists are trained to help you through tough situations like overcoming infidelity, getting on the same page regarding parenting approaches, grieving the loss of a child, or navigating mental health conditions like anxiety or depression. 

Speaking with a therapist regularly can be just what your marriage needs to move forward. At the very least, there's never any shame in giving it a try. Through Regain, you and your partner can meet together (or individually) with a licensed therapist uniquely trained to assist you in your area of need. You and your partner can attend sessions together or apart – a secure internet connection is all you need to meet virtually with your therapist. 

In therapy, your counselor might help you explore why it is challenging to accept compliments, why your previous attempts at complimenting someone feel self-serving, or how more specific compliments have a more positive impact than superficial compliments. Just as in face-to-face therapy, your virtual therapist can use approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you and your partner reframe negative behaviors and thought processes to empowered alternatives. 

In various research studies, internet-based CBT has proven efficacious in reducing the symptoms of depression, generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and stress – all issues which can negatively impact a person’s self-esteem and mood. That said, you don’t need a diagnosed condition to seek or enjoy the benefits of online therapy.

Takeaway

If you feel like your attempts to show affection to your loved one aren’t being well-received, or if you are having difficulty communicating to your loved one that you need validation and reassurance, know that you are not alone, and these are common feelings that people experience in relationships. We all have a need to belong, and many of us achieve that through our interactions with loved ones.

If you would like some help improving your connection with your partner, consider reaching out to a compassionate, licensed therapist at Regain. There is no judgment in asking for help, and you may find that boosting your relationship quality is not as hard as you thought it might be!