Dirty Talk For Her – 11 Ways To Turn Her On With Your Words
Intimacy can be vital to a healthy and loving relationship, helping you and your partner enhance your attraction to each other and connect more deeply. Whether you’ve been together many years or you’re in a new relationship, it can help to find new ways of spicing things up in the bedroom. One effective way of stoking the sexual flame is through dirty talk—suggestive words spoken during intimacy. Becoming more verbal in the bedroom can turn your partner on and help you connect with her in a new way. It can be hard to put together the right words to excite the special woman in your life, though. To that end, we’ve gathered some phrases that can help you express yourself sexually and put your partner in the mood.
11 dirty talk phrases to try with her
Research shows that communication during sex can add to sexual pleasure. Dirty talk is appealing to many women as it can help them verbalize their desires, add an element of excitement, and improve their self-confidence. But not everyone knows how to start talking dirty.
Remember that having a discussion prior to engaging in dirty talk is important. You and your partner should be on the same page when it comes to what is and isn’t acceptable so that you aren’t crossing boundaries or hurting feelings. You may find that some forms of dirty talk are more or less enjoyable or comfortable. Over time, you and your partner can develop a sexual language that works for you both. The following are 11 phrases you can use the next time you want to tell your partner how you feel about her in the bedroom.
1. "I can't wait to get you alone tonight."
One of the main goals of dirty talk is to turn her on, so saying something before you’re together can be effective. You can let your partner know how excited you are to be intimate in a text message, a note, or even a phone call. While foreplay is essential for most people, it can be particularly important to women. Telling her that you can't wait to get her alone is a way of engaging in foreplay before you’ve even seen her.
2. "You're so sexy that it's hard to believe you're mine sometimes."
Research has shown that improving your partner’s sexual self-esteem can increase their pleasure, so it can be important to let your partner know how attractive you find her. Dirty talk like this can strengthen the attraction between you and your partner and give her an idea of how excited you are. You can use this phrase, or a similar one, before, during, and after sex.
3. "I want you so bad that it hurts."
Now it's time to get a little bit more sexual with your dirty talk. Again, telling the woman in your life how much you want her lets her know where you both stand. This is a simple but effective phrase that includes words indicating an element of mischief, which can heat things up quickly. Dirty talk like this can be a signal to your partner that your next sexual encounter is going to be a particularly spicy one. She might just let you know that she wants you equally bad.
4. "I want to do whatever you want me to."
One good way to approach dirty talk is to make it about her. Let her know how much you want to please her and that it turns you on to turn her on. Telling her that you want to do what she wants gives off a different message than simply saying you want to have sex. It means you’re taking responsibility for her pleasure, which can be very sexy for a woman to know. Tell her how you feel and then watch it play out in the bedroom.
5. "I can't stop thinking of how great you looked in those ______."
If your partner has lingerie or other clothes that she busts out on occasion, consider complimenting her on how amazing she looks in them. Perhaps she recently bought a new dress that turns you on or underwear that is particularly alluring. Sending a text like this is one of several fun ways to prior to intimacy; if it leads to erotic talk in bed, all the better.
6. "I know what you like."
Displaying confidence in your own sexual proficiency can be sexy to your partner. This is an effective phrase for when you and your partner are in the middle of enjoying each other’s bodies. You can also say this before intimacy—letting her know that you’re going to be focusing on doing things that have worked in the past can put in her in the mood. You can get specific here. Discussing her favorite position or the last time you had a memorable session between the sheets (or elsewhere!) might excite her.
7. "Do you like that?"
Communication during sex can help you provide her with as much pleasure as possible. Consider asking her if she likes how you are making her feel or what else she wants to do. She may be ready to move on or to do something you haven’t tried before. Seeing how she responds to positions or sensations can inform your sex life—both in the moment and in the future.
8. "I hope you're ready for me."
If you are in the right position for it, then you might be able to whisper this one right into her ear. Anticipation of intimacy can enhance pleasure by heightening the sensations she feels. Saying this or a similar phrase can create that sexual tension and excite her.
9. "You feel so good."
Consider letting your partner know how well you fit together in bed. This is a strong form of dirty talk that can help provide encouragement and also a bit of steaminess. Telling her that her body is pleasurable can be a huge turn-on.
10. "You know how I like it."
The aforementioned study linking sexual satisfaction and sexual self-esteem also found a connection between pleasure and sexual assertiveness. Letting your partner know what you want in the bedroom can be helpful, particularly if you haven’t voiced your desires in the past. If your partner is doing something that you like a lot, let her know.
11. "I can't wait to be with you again."
A line like this is a great one to slip in after you’ve been intimate with your partner. In a text message or even right after sex, you can let her know that you're anxious to reignite the flame. This can increase anticipation for next time and give her an idea of how satisfied you are. Little sexy remarks this are good for keeping your sexual flame burning when you can't be together. Let her know that she is desired and keep her thinking about the great sex you’ve been having.
Enhancing intimate moments with online therapy
Studies show that online therapy can help couples be more verbal and intimate in relationships. In a study that included over 1,300 total participants, researchers found that online therapy led to enhanced communication and intimacy, in addition to significant improvements in overall relationship functioning. These results can be added to those of an increasingly large number of studies pointing to the efficacy of online therapy for various relationship challenges.
If you’d like to spice up your sex life, consider getting matched with a licensed therapist through an online therapy platform like Regain. With online therapy, you and your partner can participate in therapy remotely, which can be more comfortable if you’re not yet ready to discuss topics like intimacy in person. Regain has thousands of mental health professionals—with a wide range of specialties—so you’ll have a good chance of working with someone who can address your specific areas of concern. A couples therapist can help you and your partner be more communicative in your relationship, whether that’s inside or outside of the bedroom.
Therapist reviews
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“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”
Takeaway
Verbally expressing yourself when you’re getting physical is an effective way of enhancing your experience. In addition to the above statements, you can come up with your own ways of talking dirty with your partner. And if you’d like further help increasing intimacy, consider connecting with a licensed therapist online. With the right support, you and your partner can continue to develop a strong (and steamy) bond.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How can you turn on a girl through text?
You can turn a girl on with words by texting if you talk about how you can’t wait to see her on date night, sex games and a new sex toy you purchased, and other dirty text messages. While there’s no direct guide to talking dirty, there are some great ways to turn a girl on with words. When a partner is talking dirty via text, this can turn a girl on with words big time.
Additional things that you can text include:
“I’m touching myself. Where should I touch next?”
“I can’t wait to see you tonight.”
“I want to kiss you all over.”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you after last night. Can we do it again soon?”
“I can’t wait for date night. I want to take you out for the best time of your life.”
“Are you a bad girl?”
“I want to touch you in ways that make your body quiver over and over. Then I want to start over and do it all again.”
You can include dirty words as well, if you want to turn a girl on over text. How to turn a girl on over text depends on the type of relationship you have with you lady. It is not recommended to start using extra dirty talk if you have never done it before; it can be a turn off to start dirty talking or going on about sex positions out of the blue when things haven’t gone there yet. The idea is to turn a girl on with words and keep her intrigued.
Erotic talk and dirty talks can be very specific in nature, so be sure that no one but your girlfriend is reading what you are sending in dirty text messages. The last thing you want is her parents seeing your erotic talk and dirty talks should they look at her phone. Otherwise, Thanksgiving dinner will be very uncomfortable. There is a big difference between a girl's parents seeing “I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” and “I want to make you orgasm so hard, over and over again.” While this can turn a girl on with words and me certainly turn a girl on over text, it will most likely not be well received by others. Turning your girl on should be a conversation between you and her only, whether you’re turning a girl on over text or in person.
The other important thing to remember when you’re trying to turn a girl on with words, especially if the words you’re using are sexually explicit, is that consent plays a major role in the exchange. Some people love their partner talking dirty, and they’re open to receiving sexy messages all day and every day. However, many people don’t always love when you talk dirty or engage in dirty talk. This is the same for sex positions; different people like different things, and that’s all there is to it. If, when you’re trying to turn a girl on with words, she asks or tells you to stop writing sexual messages, you should stop immediately. And, if you’re not comfortable with any part of the process of trying to turn a girl on with words, you are always free to stop. If your partner or the person you’re texting is making you feel uncomfortable or harassed, there’s absolutely no shame in asking them to stop.
How can I arouse a woman sexually with words?
Arousing a woman sexually with words can be done with dirty text messages. These dirty messages should have the kind of talk that turns your girl on. You want to turn women to mush with your words. Talk about how you are returning the favor she performed last night, about where you’re having sex tonight, or how you want to lick her sex spot until she orgasms. If your girl loves when you talk sexy and dirty, then dirty messages or dirty talking should also be intriguing for her.
Don’t be afraid to send a sexy text. It can turn women on with words. If things are getting a little stale in the bedroom for a long time and you want to turn your girl on with words, try to change things up a little with some dirty talk repertoire. Texting is a good way to start turning your girl on with words. A girl turned on with words may surprise you by changing things up in the bedroom herself. Just think that a few exchanged texts can rekindle the fire you once had with your girl and turn your girl into a sex machine again like she was when you first met.
If you’re having trouble with intimacy, trying new sex positions, using new dirty lines, making dirty talk or going for advanced dirty talking, and so on, can help. Look for new phrases to use to talk dirty and don’t be afraid to try new ideas. If all of the sex tips online aren’t helping and no amount of dirty talking, books on dirty talking and similar topics, or new sex positions are doing the trick, consider seeing a sex therapist. Note that there may also be a disparity in your sex drive and your partner’s sex drive.
How do I turn her on in the mood?
If something as simple as your laugh turns your girl on, you are lucky. However, most ladies need more than that. If you want to turn a girl on with words you need to get her in the mood. First, you need to make sure she is having a good day. You can’t turn a girl on with words if she is having the worst day of her life. So, ensure that she is having a good day and, if not, find a way to turn her bad day around. This will be a great first step to turn a girl on with words. Next, you need to entice her to the bedroom, or wherever you plan on having sex that night. If you turn a girl on with words so much, you may not make it out of the car before sex begins. If this is the case, you have no issues in how to turn a girl on with words.
Outside of the bedroom, you can also make it a point to make your entire relationship an intimate one. Studies show that in most cases, intimacy is the key ingredient that makes sex so good between two committed partners. For your partner talking and listening intently might be a way that they appreciate intimacy with you. Or, you might give a gift or spend quality time together. You might even dig into great date night ideas for keeping the flame alive or for turning up the heat in your relationship. The key, though, is that intimacy is not something that is limited to sex. Instead, intimacy should be present throughout the whole relationship: when you listen attentively, talk honestly and openly, or give a gift to your partner. It can be seen even in the mundane and everyday rhythms of your life, and when you come to recognize, appreciate, and cultivate the intimacy in your relationship overall, you’ll see how it’s turning up the heat in the bedroom, too!
There are books with sex tips, sex positions, dirty talking ideas, and more that you might look into if you’re running out of ways to get in the mood. It can be hard to get comfortable dirty talking if you want to talk dirty but are new to it. The same is true for looking for sex tips and sex positions. Books like “How to Talk Dirty: Drive Your Lover Insane” by Tracy Queen, “How To Talk Dirty: Over 107 Dirty Talk Examples That Will Drive Them Absolutely Wild” by Claire Heart, “How to Talk Dirty: Drive Your Man Crazy and Make Him Beg to Be With You,” by Denise Brienne, “How to Talk Dirty: Hundreds of Dirty Talk Examples to Turn Up the Heat and Drive Your Partner Wild” by Em Quinn, “How to Talk Dirty: The Great Sex Book That Teaches You Dirty Talk” by Tamara Edelweiss, “How To Talk Dirty: 157 Dirty Talk Examples Guaranteed To Drive Your Lover Wild & Give You Ultimate Pleasure & Excitement Tonight” by Natalie Robinson, or “200 Dirty Talk Examples” by Phillip King can help with advanced dirty talk. If you’re not used to dirty talking, they can also help you start making dirty talk or start talking dirty. Books like “The Little Black Book of Sex Positions” by Dan Baritchi and Jennifer Baritchi, “365 Sex Positions” by Lisa Sweet, “Kama Sutra: The Book of Sex Positions” by Sadie Cayman, and “Sex Positions For Couples: The Ultimate Sex Book for Couples with Kama Sutra and Tantric Techniques for Beginners and Advanced” by Riley Ashwood can all help with learning new sex positions.
Whether you’re into advanced dirty talk, have just started dirty talking or want to start talking dirty, are in need of some new dirty talk phrases, need some new sex positions to try in general, or want to find dirty sex positions, don’t be afraid to keep trying and learning. One thing about sex, whether it’s dirty talking or sex positions, is that in part, it is about trial and error in finding what you and your partner like. If you try new sex positions and don’t like one of the particular sex position you try, you don’t need to keep doing it. The same is true for dirty talking, dirty talk phrases, and so on. If advanced dirty talk or dirty talking doesn’t end up being your thing, that’s okay! You can love sex without being into everything you try. Some people love sex, but they’re not into dirty talking or making dirty talk. It’s all about trial and error; different sex tips will work for different people. Sex tips can’t be one size fits all because every person and every couple of different, just like everyone has a different sex drive.
How do I really turn her on?
There can be a multitude of ways to turn a girl on with words. You need to know what she likes and dislikes. To turn a girl on with words is to be in tune with her emotionally and sexually. If you are not in tune with her, you will not be able to turn a girl on with words, or any other way. From there, you need to know what she likes in the bedroom. It is okay to change it up. You may find that something different will turn a girl on with words even if you never tried it before or talked about it. Try new positions or add a sex toy into the mix. These things can turn a girl on with words so much that she will be begging you for more.
To turn a girl on with words, you need to be willing to spend a little extra time focusing on her. You cannot turn a girl on with words just by snapping your fingers. You need to want to turn a girl on with words and pay attention to her needs. Be willing to talk about sex positions or bring up new sex positions - communication is important, and it’s something that you can pair with dirty talking, too. Dirty talking can turn a girl on and create sexual tension.
If you want to turn a girl on over text, know that the ways to turn a girl on over text are pretty similar to how you might when talking face to face. Of course, the element of physical touch won’t be there, but you can still talk about sex positions and engage in dirty talking. When you talk dirty or engage in dirty talking, make sure that you have consent first thing. Don’t wait to see if she responds positively when you talk dirty, though that’s important, too - ask before you start. This goes for when you’re dirty talking in person and via text. Dirty talking can be super hot, but you have to make sure she’s into it.
Some dirty talk phrases to use to turn a girl on over text when dirty talking include “You’re such a bad girl,” “I love hearing you talk dirty,” “I love making love to you,” or “girl you’ve got to get over here.” If you need new dirty talk phrases or dirty talking tips, consider checking out the dirty talking books recommended under the question “How do I turn her on in the mood?” for a ton of new nasty talk phrases and dirty lines. It’s a great way to start talking dirty and build a repertoire of dirty talking lines!
To turn a girl on over text, you can also talk about the dirty sex you’ll have when dirty texting or engaging in sex talk via text. Talk about sex positions and respond positively if she sends pictures or sends you a dirty text. You can look for sex tips online if you want to find ideas for how to talk dirty or engage in dirty talking or sex talk, whether you’re turning a girl on over text or in person. Some of the best sex tips and ideas for sex positions will come from experts on sex. If you’re nervous about learning about new sex positions or ways of dirty talking, there are a lot of educators who specialize in educating people on sex, dirty talking, how to talk dirty, sex positions, sex tips, and more. Talking dirty to your boyfriend or girlfriend should be fun, so don’t stress if it feels awkward at first. Part of intimacy is creating a safe space for each other so that you can try new things. You should both feel safe, comfortable, and loved.
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