Do You Have An Untrustworthy Partner? Six Signs That He Is Lying To You

When you are in a relationship, this can be an exciting and important time of your life. Even though you may be completely in love with your partner, it is important you have a healthy relationship based in trust and understanding. The trajectory of any relationship will be largely impacted by your partner and what type of character they have. One character trait that is a crucial building block in the health of a relationship is honesty. The opposite can be said for what can destroy the foundation of a relationship, lying and deceptive behaviors. If you suspect that you may be in a relationship with an untrustworthy partner, you may want to practice care before confronting them. Some people are simply low key by nature, which can appear as sneaky behavior like they are hiding something from you. Nonetheless, a partner that is showing signs of untrustworthiness can cause great pain and emotional harm. The following article reveals these signs, so you are prepared to face the “truth” of your relationship. 

Signs that he’s lying to you in the relationship

Coming to the reality that your partner might be untrustworthy and lying to you is never easy. However, if this is going on in your relationship, you have a right to know. You deserve better than a partner who you can’t trust. If one or more of the following signs appear familiar in your relationship, then there is a very real possibility that he might be lying to you.

He frequently accuses you of lying 

Sometimes, when people know they are guilty, they tend to accuse other people of what they themselves are doing. This does not happen all the time, but it’s more common than most people would like to imagine. If your partner is consistently accusing you of being dishonest with them when you are truthful, there is a very real possibility that he is lying to you. Think about it: a truthful person who does not have a guilty conscience is not likely to constantly see lies where they do not exist.

He is vague about where he has been

Another indicator of an untrustworthy partner is vagueness about where they have been. Now, this does not mean that they have to check in with you about where they have been every thirty minutes. However, if you find that your partner tries to avoid explaining where they were, particularly after considerable periods of time, this is a clear indicator that something is up. Except for an unusual job, most people do not go to great lengths to hide where they have been unless they were someplace where they should not have been.

Social media tells a different story than his words

We live in a day and age where people regularly update their social media accounts with what they are doing, where they have been, etc. Now, social media in and of itself has some serious pros and cons, especially when relationships are involved. However, one of the upsides is that it can be quite telling, especially if your partner updates his accounts frequently.

The reality is that pictures and videos with dates and times attached to them rarely lie. Yes, images and even videos can be edited, but if your partner’s words are in constant conflict with what you see on social media, there is a pretty good chance that he’s untrustworthy. If your partner goes out of his way to keep you from viewing or following his social media accounts, this is also another strong indicator that he is intentionally keeping something from you.

His eye contact is off

While you may have heard that not maintaining eye contact is a sign of lying, this may not be the case. Many people may have a difficult time with intense conversations and struggle with eye contact. However, studies do show that a person’s eye contact behavior will change from their usual way of using their eyes during communication. For example, a person may blink more, maintain eye contact only when lying, or their pupils may even dilate. If your partner cannot maintain eye contact, stares at you intently, or blinks excessively, especially when speaking to you or answering a question, this is a major red flag. A change in eye contact behavior often materializes when someone knows they are guilty and do not know how to maintain their usual way of visual connectivity. 

Other people have warned you about him

When someone is truly an untrustworthy individual, there is a high probability that others in their life have experienced this. Depending on the individual, the people they are close to, and whether those people are aware of your relationship, you may be warned about your partner. However, while outside warnings can indicate real issues, it is important to tread carefully with this one.

Not everyone is honest, nor does everyone have pure motives when warning another person about someone else. If you are, in fact, warned by other people that your partner is untrustworthy, take note of the advice, but don’t run with it…at least not right away. In this particular situation, the best course of action is to see if your partner’s behavior or habits align with the warnings. If so, then there might be something there.

He is unnecessarily defensive

Often, people are defensive when they feel like they are under attack or facing a threat of some kind. When someone has an agenda of maintaining a lie they have told, this person may become defensive when they feel like that lie will be exposed. If your significant other is defensive at times that do not call for it, there is a very real possibility that he could be untrustworthy and lying to you.

What to do if you have an untrustworthy partner

If you learn that you do, in fact, have an untrustworthy partner who has been lying to you, this can be hurtful, shocking, and even difficult to accept. Everyone reacts to these situations differently, but no matter what, weighing all your options and doing what you believe to be good for you are the best next steps.

Only you can decide what to do or how to handle your relationship; however, knowing the perils of remaining with an untrustworthy partner is important. A relationship where you are being lied to is not healthy, and it can take a toll on your mental health. There have been people who have attempted to remain in these relationships to fix their partner or regain previous dynamics that were once present.

The reality here is that you alone cannot change your partner, especially if they are untrustworthy and lying to you. While you can influence a person, that individual ultimately must choose who they want to be. If your partner has already reached the point of lying to you in a relationship and thus proving himself untrustworthy, this alone speaks volumes.

The importance of quality in relationships

In life, every relationship is unique, and some run their course sooner than others. Certain partnerships are meant to last for a season, whereas others are designed to last for a lifetime. Ideally, a lifelong partnership should be comprised of mutual respect, loyalty, and honesty. If these are traits that you deem valuable in a relationship, then it may be a good idea to reconsider your relationship status with your current partner.

Letting go of an untrustworthy partner may be hard, especially if you care for them and you have enjoyed positive memories together. However, in letting go now, you will be opening the door to a better relationship which will potentially come later down the line. Being with a trustworthy, honest partner is crucial for your emotional and mental health, as opposed to being with a partner who lies and makes you wonder if they are whether they are telling the truth this time.

You deserve better, and better is out there waiting for you.

Where to find help and support

Navigating through the various challenges of relationships and other obstacles in life can be tough. However, you do not have to do it all on your own. Whether you are faced with an untrustworthy partner, a relationship that has run its course, or another matter entirely, help and support is available with a therapist or couples counselor. This is something you deserve to know about and be made aware of. 

Working with an online therapist comes with a series of benefits for both your mental and emotional health. Some of the most relevant benefits include knowing that you’re not alone, getting feedback that is uniquely applicable to your situation and working towards solutions. If you are concerned that you may not be able to feel open or safe in virtual sessions, know that your words will be honored and respected by your online therapist. Current research has revealed that people prefer online therapy because they feel that they can trust their therapist to a greater degree and feel safer due to the innominateness (in contrast to in-person office visits). Rather than attending in-person therapy sessions, you can connect with a therapist in your own home or any other space where you feel safe and comfortable.

Here at Regain, we ensure that online therapy happens at the dates and times best for you, although working with an online therapist will not cause your problems to vanish magically. However, what online therapy will do is provide the necessary feedback and support to help you on your way to turning the rest of your life into the best of your life.

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Takeaway

Trust is the key ingredient in relationships, and to have love; you need to build trust. This happens through open communication and honesty. Trust allows us to feel safe in our relationship and is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. When you do not have this foundation with your partner, it may be time to consider taking space to evaluate your relationship. This does not have to happen alone. You have support available when you are ready to ask.