“Does My Guy Friend Have Feelings For Me?” Reading The Signs
How do you know if one of your guy friends has crossed the line from feelings of friendship to something more? Romantic interest can drastically affect a relationship, particularly when those feelings aren't reciprocated. Read on to learn more about recognizing the signs your male friend has developed feelings for you and some tips to help you navigate the situation and protect the friendship.
What is platonic friendship?
Mental health experts define platonic friendship as a non-romantic relationship between two people who could conceivably find one another attractive. You likely feel deep affection and non-romantic love for your friends, valuing their contributions to your life. Ancient Greek philosopher Plato theorized that erotic impulses could be sublimated—or transformed—to serve higher, desexualized aims.
Pros and cons of dating a friend
Nearly everyone knows a couple that started as friends before those feelings turned into something more. While falling in love with your best friend could offer some significant benefits, there are some drawbacks to dating a friend.
Benefits
- You likely share a significant history, giving you a foundation of trust and familiarity to build your relationship.
- Most of the awkwardness of the early dating stage won’t apply because you feel comfortable together and know how to communicate effectively.
- There’s a strong potential for shared friends, but that could become a downside if things go poorly.
Drawbacks
- Shared history isn't always a good thing. While you know each other well, you probably both know the negative traits and past mistakes, too.
- If it doesn’t work out, you may lose them as a friend and a partner.
- Skipping the early stages of a relationship can make everything feel like it’s moving too fast and getting too serious before you’re ready.
“Does my guy friend have feelings for me?” Recognizing the signs
While there’s no surefire way to know how your guy friend feels about you aside from asking him directly, there are some indicators you can look for. Analyze his behavior, watching for changes from his previous actions and your gut feelings about his intentions and motivations.
He constantly wants to spend time with you
You already spend time together if he's your friend, but if you notice that he is consistently seeking you out to make plans, or his attempts seem to carry more urgency or importance, he may be trying to show that he wants to make your connection into something more.
He wants you to meet his family
Unless you have some connection to his family, the desire to introduce you to them may mean that he wants them to know about the critical people in his life—and that he considers you one of them.
He asks in-depth questions
Men who are interested romantically often ask in-depth questions that lead to continued conversation, which results in more time with you and increased knowledge of what you like and dislike.
He doesn’t stop communicating with you
If he makes an effort to respond to every message you send, it could mean he wants you to know he is available and would be a reliable partner who values communication. If he previously didn't respond as reliably or with as much detail, he may be developing feelings for you. Studies show that increased communication and emotional transparency are indicators of romantic interest for many men.
He actively likes and comments on your social mediadia
You may notice that he likes or comments on everything you post, or he's not communicating as much with anyone else on social media. He may be trying to show interest in only engaging with you.
He frequently tries to keep the conversation going
When the conversation starts to wane, he may devise excuses to keep you talking because he doesn't want to stop. If this behavior is different from how he used to act, it could mean he’s starting to want more than friendship.
He seems more nervous or jealous than usual
If his body language and behavior have made a drastic shift recently, and you notice that he’s acting more nervous than usual or displaying jealousy and bitterness about your love interests, he may be developing feelings for you.
He always tries to make you laugh or smile
While good friends often try to make you laugh or smile, it can also indicate that a man harbors romantic feelings toward you and genuinely wants to make you happy. This example is often best used to indicate deeper feelings if his behavior has changed recently.
He often compliments you
When one of your guy friends starts complimenting you frequently, especially if it’s new behavior, it could mean he has feelings for you and wants to show them in a way that doesn't overtly expose his emotions.
He shows increased curiosity about your love life
If he shows much more interest in who you’re dating, often under cover of protective concern, it may indicate that he has feelings for you and is struggling with watching you want someone else.
He touches you more often and shows physical affection
You may notice that he goes out of his way to be close to you and finds reasons to touch you. An increase in physical affection could mean he wants more than friendship.
He seems eager to share information about himself
When a guy friend tries to share information about himself or makes a point to tell you what he's thinking or feeling, he may be trying to express that he wants to take your relationship from platonic to romantic.
He pays attention to your preferences
If he pays attention to what you like and remembers your preferences, he may just be a considerate friend. However, if the change is recent, he may be trying to show that he’s a caring guy who wants to give you what you want.
He makes frequent eye contact
You may catch him looking at you or making eye contact more than usual, which could indicate that his attention is on you more often.
He brings you small gifts and “just because” presents
If he brings you little things like your favorite coffee or lunch "just because" he thought you'd like it, that could indicate that you're frequently on his mind, and he wants you to feel good.
He shows interest in your future plans
When a guy is interested in more than friendship, he may show increased interest in your future plans. While many friends will share these concerns, if the level of his interest grows dramatically without an apparent cause, it could indicate that he has deeper feelings.
You have a gut feeling
Sometimes, a combination of things can give you a gut feeling that he has feelings for you. Many men act differently around people they’re romantically interested in, so if his behavior has changed and you’re getting a flirty vibe, he may have feelings for you.
Evaluate your feelings—do you feel the same?
Once you’ve determined that your guy friend has romantic feelings for you, evaluating your feelings should be your next step. Do you feel the same way? Is your desire and curiosity enough to risk ruining the friendship if things don’t work out? A clinical review of 85 papers about relationship origins showed that approximately 18% started as friends, meaning the vast majority started as strangers.
How to handle it when you don’t feel the same
- Remember that you’re not responsible for his feelings
- Be honest
- Approach the conversation with kindness, but be clear
- Give him space to process his feelings
How therapy can help you recognize and communicate emotions
Many people struggle to identify emotions in themselves and other people. If you can’t decipher your male friend’s behavior to decide if he has feelings for you, consider working with a licensed therapist online through a relationship-focused virtual therapy platform like Regain. Therapy can help you develop emotional intelligence and awareness to recognize and understand how people feel and emotional literacy to express your feelings and needs. You can also learn coping skills to help you manage stressful situations and communication techniques to help you navigate conversations about your emotions. Parents seeking emotional and relationship support for kids from 12-19 can contact TeenCounseling.
According to researchers at the American Psychological Association, online and in-person therapy provide similar results. Virtual treatment is often much less expensive and usually involves shorter wait times. With a wide variety of therapists available, you are far more likely to find a mental health professional you feel comfortable talking to about personal issues.
Takeaway
Discovering that a male friend has feelings for you can lead to a multitude of emotions. For many people, the romantic interest isn’t mutual, which can create stress and tension in the friendship. The information in this article offers insight into recognizing the signs a male friend is falling for you and how you can address the issue.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What are some unmistakable signs that a guy likes you?
The signs that a guy likes you could be subtle, or they could be a little bit more obvious. Some telltale signs and unmistakable signs that a guy likes you include:
- He’s invested in your love life and gets jealous of other guys
- He talks about you all the time
- He treats you like you’re his girlfriend
- He compliments your physical appearance all of the time
- He tells you
Some of the other biggest signs he likes you could include commenting sweet things on your social media posts, checking up on your social media all of the time, initiating hangouts or conversations, andgetting excited to see you. Of course, any friend will be excited to see you, but it’s a particularly good sign he’s interested when it’s paired with some of the other biggest signs a guy likes you. Especially if it’s a huge sign, like him getting jealous of other guys who show interest in you, it’s something to take note of.
Does my guy friend have feelings for me, or is he just friendly?
Especially if this is a new male friend or someone that isn’t a friend and that you just met, it can be hard to tell sometimes if he likes you or if he’s just a friendly and affectionate person. For those who are already good friends with the person in question, one of the signs your male friend has feelings for you is that he treats you differently than he used to. Perhaps, his level of physical touch used to mimic that of your platonic male friends and female friends, and his verbal communication with you mimicked that of your platonic male friends and female friends as well. Now, however, you notice that your male friend is brushing your arm a lot, moving closer to you, making prolonged eye contact, and is maybe even flirting with you. This change in behavior is a probable sign that he thinks of you as more than just a friend.
Can men and women really be just friends?
Men and women can certainly be just friends and remain just friends. Even if your male friend develops a crush on you or you develop a crush on one of your male friends, it does not mean this will happen with every male friend you make. Guys have female friends, women have male friends, and a lot of the time, it’s solely platonic. Other times, regardless of gender, people do end up dating a friend. Many people fall in love and consider their partner to be one of their best friends, so a friendship can be a delightful and organic place for a romantic relationship to start. If you’ve been flirting for a while or if he consistently treats you as more than a friend he’s likely to reveal his real feelings soon, whether that’s by continuing to flirt or by telling you outright. When you’re close friends, it can be hard to admit your feelings, so it’s possible that he’ll keep showing signs without telling you. If you like him back, you may want to bring it up so that your feelings don’t go unspoken. You can talk through how it might or might not affect your friendship, but if you’re really into him, you probably have a deep awareness that you don’t want to miss your chance, so know that you don’t have to act (or be) disinterested just because of your history. When it’s all out on the table, you two will come to a conclusion with regard to where to go from here.
How do I know if we’re more than friends?
Of course, there are potential signs your male friend has feelings for you that you can look for, such as those listed in this article and FAQ section. However, you must remember that the ball is partially in your court. If you are wondering, does my guy friend like you, and you see the signs your male friend has feelings for you and you like him back, you might mirror his behavior to affirm that you like him as well. For example, if he’s engaging in prolonged eye contact, you would gaze into his eyes as well, if he touches your arm, you will be receptive to it, and if he talks with you in a way that is flirtatious, you will return that in your dialogue. These are signs that he’s interested in you. If he’s taking Facebook relationship quizzes and posts results that you and he are meant to be together, it could be a sign he likes you but is nervous to tell you to your face. However, this is a sign your guy friend wants to progress your relationship and he’s started to have feelings for you as more than friends.
When you are together, if you’re talking and he is leaning towards you, it’s because he’s genuinely intrigued to hear what you have to say. While a friend may actively listen, people who just want to be friends don’t hold steady eye contact and use body language in a loving way. There are signs he’s interested in being more than just friends.
How do I know if he’s interested?
There are some subtle signs that he’s interested to look out for in addition to the more overt signs, such as being invested in your love life or using physical touch. He might use dating tips to hint that he likes you, or these things might happen organically; he might even be trying to keep it a secret, depending on the situation. If you’re talking and he is actively listening these are signs he’s crushing on you.
“Does my guy friend have feelings for me?” Exploring the subtle signs?
If you are asking yourself, does my guy friend like me, here are some of the more subtle signs he likes you:
- He holds eye contact with you longer than a platonic friend would
- He likes all of your posts on social media
- He wants to hang out one on one instead of in groups
- His body language gives it away
- He wants to spend time with you outside of date nights
- He is scared that he will jeopardize the friendship by becoming attached to you
- He’s started texting calling and messaging your more often
- He posts on Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites that he is with you
Another one of the biggest signs your male friend has feelings for you is that he’s touchy-feely. Maybe, he hugs you a lot or touches your shoulder or arm often. Some people give a lot of hugs no matter what, but it’s a good sign regardless because you’ll usually be able to tell when physical touch is paired with romantic feelings. If he doesn’t treat his close friends the same way he treats you, it could be a sign that your male friend has feelings for you. In summary the biggest signs he’s interested would be that he shows it in a variety of ways; one of these signs might mean nothing, especially if it’s something small and ambiguous, but if you see multiple signs, it may just be a giveaway to how he feels.
What are some body language signs your male friend has feelings for you?
Body language is an intriguing area of study. Some body language signs he’s interested might include lip-licking, getting closer to you when you talk, open posture, nervousness, sweating or clammy hands, and increased pupil size.
Body language can be a strong sign your guy friend wants to be more than just friends. So if you are asking, "does my guy friend like me?" - look for these real world signals:
- Guys can be funny, but when a guy likes you he’s usually more silly or stiff than he is around his guy friends.
- When a guy friend talks to him, he might be more down to earth, but around you he may not know quite how to act yet; he does not want to do anything to screw up his chances with you.
So, if you are wondering, does my guy friend like me try to pay attention to see if he acts differently when you are together than when he is with his male friends.
What does it mean to be in the friend zone?
Being in the friend zone means that you like someone, but they see you as someone who is “just a friend.” Whether you are close friends or if a casual friend, you could be in the friend zone. Additionally, people that are male and female, as well as those who are non-binary or of another gender identity, can be in the friend zone. It is not something that is limited to men. When it comes to friends it’s often a question as to whether you are seen as dating material or if you are someone that the other person does not want to lose from their life if dating you does not go well. If you’re in the friend zone, you might look for dating tips on how to break out, but the truth is that, if you have feelings for your female friend or male friend, you have to respect it if they don’t feel the same way. On the other side of the coin, if a friend likes you romantically, you do not have to like them back. A lot of the time, we can’t necessarily control romantic feelings and whether or not we feel romantic feelings for a specific person. If someone likes you romantically, you aren’t obligated to them, and if you’re friends it’s best to talk about it and be upfront. If you see signs your male friend has feelings for you, and he ends up confessing the way he feels, it’s fair to tell him that you don’t want to jeopardize your friendship and want to stay friends rather than becoming something more.
How do I turn someone down politely?
Rejection is difficult no matter what, but it’s particularly tricky if you’re close friends with someone who rejects you, or if you’re rejected by someone who is a good friend. When a friend talks about dating you, it can be scary. If your male friend has feelings for you but, to you, he’s just a friend, it is okay to turn him down. It would be much worse if you were to lead him on. Let him know that you value the friendship and that you hold space for his feelings but want to remain friends only. It’s possible that he might need to take some time for himself before your friendship goes back to normal, and that’s okay. He has to process his emotions, even if he is your best friend. If you are the one getting turned down by friends it’s okay to be disappointed, but be understanding and take it as gracefully as you can. Don’t get angry at the person outwardly. It’s not a good sign, it could ruin your friendship, and it’s not their fault. Again, you can’t always control romantic feelings. The good news is that you’re talking about how you feel. If you’re talking about it, you can gain clarity and come to terms with whatever the outcome is. Feel your feelings, and don’t be afraid to speak to someone about it, whether that’s a friend or a mental health professional.
What are some dating tips for people who started as friends?
Dating tips for a situation where you see signs a guy likes you or signs your male friend has feelings for you and you like him back will be different from dating tips that work when you meet people you don’t know. You know this person well, especially if you’re close friends. One of the best dating tips for people who like or want to get involved with a friend who is a guy it’s best to tread lightly. In this situation you need to act on it when you see a big sign that he likes you and go slow when you are not sure of his feelings. If you see signs a guy likes you or signs your male friend has feelings for you, such as him liking all of your social media posts, using body language signs, touching your arm, back, or shoulder, getting invested in your love life more than a good friend would or getting jealous of other guys (which, again, is one of the top signs a guy likes you), or complimenting you, act by returning the favor. The reason this is one of the best dating tips for you if you see signs your male friend has feelings for you or signs a guy likes you and you want him, too, is that you’re able to flirt back without running the risk of coming on too strong. After all, if you notice signs your guy friend likes you and you give the same signs in return, it can’t be overkill because you’re both doing the exact same thing. If you’re looking for dating tips with no avail or are fed up with waiting to find out if someone likes you or not and you need support, you can reach out to a counselor or therapist and talk about your feelings. Thinking about your love life can be confusing, and even if you see some of the biggest signs he likes you, you might still be at a loss, and that’s okay.
How do I know if my friend likes me?
If you’re wondering, “Does my guy friend like me?” then there are a number of different signs he’s crushing on you that you should look for. If he likes what he sees, your guy friend will likely make a move, even if it’s a subtle one. For example, he might be more interested in usual than your love life, or he might find appropriate excuses to touch you during the course of normal conversation. He might also try to find excuses for you to spend more and more time alone together. Of course, the ultimate clue that a guy friend likes you is if he tells you outright or asks you out on a date.
If it’s a girl pal that you’re wondering about, then you can rely on her body language to tell you if she likes you. In addition to the common body language and prolonged eye contact, girls will often play with their hair or touch their lips to bring attention to their more feminine features. If a girl is interested in you, she might compliment you more frequently, or pay more careful attention to your clothes or grooming habits. She might even make suggestions about your style. Or, she might tell you outright that she is attracted to you, or ask you out on a date.
While exhibiting just one of these signs or behaviors doesn’t necessarily mean that your friend is romantically interested in you, if they show several of these signs, then they probably like you! However, it’s important to remember that a person might take a step back or withdraw a bit from a friendship, even if they have way more than just friendly feelings towards you. This could show that they are afraid of ruining the friendship by becoming romantically involved. Or, if your friend of the opposite gender is pulling away despite the fact that you usually have a fun – and often even flirty – dynamic, it could me that she or he’s gay.
Does my friend have a crush on me?
If your friend has been acting differently recently, you might be noticing some signals she’s sending or signs he’s crushing on you. For example, when someone holds eye contact frequently and for a prolonged amount of time, or when their body language hints that they want to be physically closer to you, this is a signal that she’s into you or a sign he’s interested in being more than just friends. Their behavior towards you might also be more affectionate. For instance, they might spend a lot more time just listening to all you have to say; if she likes your or if he’s into you, they’re probably spending way more time and energy with you than with other friends.
Another sign that they’re showing more than just friendly feelings is if they like all of your posts on social media, or they are always tagging you on social media. They want others to see that the two of you are spending time together, and they want the world to know that the two of you are together often, even if you’re not a couple (yet). Plus, if a person likes you, they’ll probably change their behavior specifically when they’re around you. They’ll act differently around you than they would act in a large group of friends or with others for whom they have only friendly feelings. Looking out for these shifts in behavior is a great way to gauge if a person has more than just friendly feelings for you!
How do I know if my best friend has a crush on me?
One of the best ways to tell if your best friend has a crush on you is to watch their behaviors with you as compared to behavior with other friends. Are they paying extra special attention to you? Do they look at you more frequently and fervently than they do their other friends? Do they lean towards you when you’re having a conversation? Do they find reasons that the two of you should spend more and more time alone together? Do they exhibit the body language of sexual or romantic attraction? Do they tag or mention you on social media more than they do their other friends? Do they notice small details and changes about your physical appearance and/or your emotional state? If you see several of these behaviors in your best friend, then there’s a good chance that they have a crush on you!
Does she like me as more than a friend?
When it comes to figuring out if your female likes you as more than just a friend, it helps to look at her behavior. She might be interested in you if she:
- Acts differently – more attentive or outgoing – when she’s interacting with you specifically.
- Touches her face and lips and/or plays with her hair when she’s talking to you.
- Shows the key body language indicators that she is attracted to you physically, sexually, or romantically.
- Leans in during the course of your conversations.
- Makes and maintains plenty of eye contact.
- Tags or mentions you a lot on social media.
- Talks to her friends about you, more than she talks about others.
- Tells you outright that she has feelings for you, or asks you out on a date.
If a girl shows several of these signs, then it’s a good bet that she’s into you and she wants to be more than just friends.
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