Why Do I Feel Worthless? Answers And How To Manage

If you feel like you are unworthy, that you do not belong or deserve good things in your life, you are not alone. Feeling worthless is something that many people experience, especially in those who are managing symptoms of depression. 

This article will explain some of the reasons behind feelings of worthlessness and what you can do if you’re feeling worthless. While these feelings of worthlessness are not uncommon, they are challenging, and can even be debilitating at times. Acknowledging the way you feel and seeking help is the first step to getting your confidence back. Because you are valuable, no matter what!

Remember, the best way to cope with a challenging time in your life is to get help. Talk to a professional therapist whenever you think you might need counseling. There is no such thing as a problem that’s too big, or too small, to seek help.

Feeling worthless and depression

According to the , “feelings of guilt or worthlessness” is one of the most common symptoms of depression. Unfortunately, struggling with feeling this way can discourage people from reaching out for help, and may even lead someone to think they “deserve” this emotional state. 

If you have a history of a depressive disorder or are experiencing symptoms of depression, it is important to seek counseling. Feeling unworthy could be a sign of a severe depressive episode. Letting those feelings escalate can severely affect your self-esteem and may make it difficult to get through day-to-day tasks. In other words, feelings of worthlessness and depression can become a vicious cycle that is difficult to break. The best thing you can do is to recognize that these feelings are a result of your major depressive disorder and are not your fault and seek the help of a professional counselor as soon as possible.

While it is a common symptom of depression and major depressive disorder, feeling worthless may not necessarily be connected to this major depressive disorder. There are plenty of external stresses and challenges that can lead someone to feel worthless. The bottom line is these feelings are based in underlying factor you may not realize on your own. 

Pressure to succeed

The pressure to succeed is something many people face, particularly in the early adulthood. This demand, whether internalized or form external sources, has been shown in studies to negatively affect a person’s self-esteem and cause feelings of inferiority while impairing social functioning and contributing to mental health conditions.

Young adults are confronted with several challenges. These may include pursuing an education followed with a successful career, finding the “perfect” relationship, and start a family. While it is practically impossible to do accomplish all this at once, many feel like they are failing if they are not achieving everything they can. This can explain why people in their twenties can feel so lost.

Remember, each person’s path through life looks different, including what is considered a successful outcome. Just like the uniqueness of our individual selves, our pathways defined by success do not have look a certain way. Accomplishing all you want in life at once is not possible (nor enjoyable). Nonetheless, the pressure to succeed can precipitate feelings of worthlessness and guilt in people, regardless of where they are in life.

Feeling unworthy in a relationship

Have you ever felt like you do not deserve your partner or spouse? If your answer is yes, remember this. When you base your self-esteem from external sources, you are at an increased risk for self-judgement that results in low self-esteem and self-worth. 

While perceiving your partner in a positive light is important for the health of your relationship, experiencing feelings of guilt or worthlessness can be really damaging. Perceiving your partner as “too good for you” or “better than you” is a sign of negative self-esteem, and not constructive to a positive relationship. 

If you think your partner or spouse is encouraging your feelings of worthlessness, you should seek professional counseling. Statements like “you’re lucky I’m with you” or “you don’t deserve me” are often manipulative tactics that can indicate a toxic relationship. If you at any moment find your partner demeaning you or your intuition is telling you things are not right, take a step away from the relationship. Your feelings of self-doubt may be an indication that you doubt the relationship itself. Know that you always have the option to leave and there is help available with mental health support. 

Big changes or major life events

Major milestones and events in your life can impact your sense of self and lead to feelings of worthlessness. Big changes challenge your perception and can cause you to view yourself differently.

Even events that are generally seen as positive, like a graduation, a big move, or a wedding, can lead you to doubt your self-worth. You may be wondering how you can adjust to this new stage in your life, feeling like you will not be able to live up to other people’s standards, or even that you cannot meet your own expectations.

These concerns are common, and in most cases, will pass over time. To maintain your self-esteem through big changes and life events, it can help to talk to people who are going through the change with you or have had similar experiences. Opening up about the way you feel is a great way to boost your confidence and remind yourself that you’re not going through these changes alone.

How to manage feelings of worthlessness and boost self-esteem

Feeling worthless is never easy. It can seem like a very lonely struggle, and at times can even impact your day-to-day life. And while many people struggle with those feelings, getting over them can be a bigger challenge for some. Recovering your self-worth takes time, patience, and positive change.

The best thing you can do when coping with feelings of worthlessness or guilt is to talk to a therapist. Professional counseling is an amazing tool on the road to self-healing. That said, there are also some changes you can make yourself to help beat those negative feelings.

Here are a few methods for recovering your confidence and boosting your self-esteem:

Pay attention to your feelings

Registering and understanding your feelings is a big step toward overcoming them. Guilt, doubt, and other negative feelings of self-worth generally will not go away when you ignore them. Instead, pay attention to when these negative feelings emerge and consider what is going on in your life at the time.

You might be feeling unworthy because of some external stress, childhood trauma, or because of managing symptoms of a depressive disorder. Understanding what is causing your emotions can help you to recognize them as just that: emotions. Feeling unworthy is a natural reaction to other stresses in your life and acknowledging this is an important step toward treating it.

Look back

If you are having feelings of self-doubt now, it might not be the first time. Try looking back on other points in your life when you felt this way. What was happening in your life then? Could the same stresses be causing your feelings now?

Going off that, it can also help to look back on the times in your life when you felt most confident. Remember, you are still the same person now that you were then—you still have just as much to feel grateful for and proud of. Focusing on the high points in your life can help you to recover feelings of hope and confidence.

Get some exercise

Physical exercise is just as important to your mental health as it is to your physical health. Exercise can give you a rush of endorphins, boost your mood, and provide a sense of accomplishment.

That does not mean you need to run a marathon or even join a gym—a short amount of physical activity (30 minutes) every day can make all the difference. If you do not like lifting weights, no worries. Consider jogging, biking, swimming, climbing, or even just walking. The more you exercise, the easier it will be—and that can help you to feel more confident over time.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness involves paying purposeful attention to thoughts, feelings, or bodily sensations that occur in the present moment in a non-judgmental way. Its roots are founded in Eastern Buddhist practices, however many people around the world now use this form of meditation to help improve symptoms of stress and overall general well-being. 

A simple way to practice mindfulness is to reflectively consider your own thoughts and feelings at the moment and let them flow through you like water that moves around rocks in the stream. Mindfulness can help you to break the cycle of self-doubt and encourage you to look forward to growth and a more positive future. You can try mindfulness through meditation, journaling, and relaxation can all help. Whatever method you use, the key is to “step out” of your present state of mind and try to see the bigger picture. In the long term, practicing mindfulness can help you to remember that these feelings are only temporary.

Focus on the little things

The big picture can feel overwhelming. You may start to question whether you are achieving enough, whether you can be considered “successful,” if you have everything you want in life, etc.

When you are feeling unworthy, it can help to focus on the little things instead of the big picture. Take each day one step at a time. Set small, achievable goals for yourself, and take pride in reaching them. Staying in the present and focusing on small, manageable things can help you to enjoy every day, instead of worrying over bigger accomplishments.

You are valuable

Whatever is causing you to feel worthless, it’s important to remember that every person has value, no matter what. In your career, relationships, and personal life, you do matter. While many people experience moments of self-doubt and low self-esteem, feeling hopelessness or debating your self-worth are symptoms of mental health disorders, such as depression. Even when these feelings are not stemming from a mental health disorder, having a negative perception of yourself can lead to social anxiety, poor self-care, and withdrawing from personal relationships. If you are feeling worthless, know you have support available to you through therapy. A licensed therapist will talk with you about what you are going through and help identify where your feelings are coming from and how to resolve them with effective treatment options like cognitive behavioral therapy.

Online therapy has become increasingly popular, and research shows it can play a significant role in reducing depression symptoms. For example, one study found that online therapy was even more effective than traditional in-person sessions, with the majority of participants in the online group showing continued symptom reduction three months after treatment. On the other hand, individuals in the face-to-face group showed “significantly worsened depressive symptoms” over the same period. This study explores how internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy treatment compares to regular face-to-face therapy.

Working with a mental health provider can help you find feelings of worthiness rather than worthlessness, along with coping skills, strategies to build confidence, and ways to reframe your thoughts when you feel anxious, worthless, or hopeless, among other ways to improve the quality of your life. You will have a safe space to talk about how you feel in counseling or therapy, and if you are currently feeling unhappy, seeing a mental health professional can help you find the brighter side and discover if mental health conditions or specific circumstances are causing your feelings of worthlessness.

Takeaway

Feelings of guilt, self-doubt, and sadness can make it hard to stay motivated and accomplish what you want in life. But they are temporary. Even if your lack of self-worth is a symptom of depression, proven treatment options, like cognitive behavioral therapy, can provide relief for many. With professional counseling and small changes to your daily routine, it is totally possible to recover your confidence and remember your self-worth.