Five Reasons To Focus On Yourself Prior To Dating

Updated October 20, 2024by Regain Editorial Team
Content warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that could be triggering to the reader. Please see our Get Help Now page for more immediate resources.

Considering entering the dating pool? While seeking a meaningful connection can be especially fulfilling, you can get a similar amount of satisfaction simply by focusing on and deeply knowing yourself. Taking time to complete this critical step can also lead to more satisfaction in both your platonic and romantic relationships. 

Below, we’re exploring the beauty of focusing on yourself prior to dating. We’ve also put together a list of ways that you can start your journey of self-discovery.  Read on to explore how you can make this year one of the most fulfilling for your life’s relationships — including the one you have with yourself. 

The beauty of focusing on yourself

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Looking to start your self-discovery journey?

Focusing on yourself generally allows you to get to know yourself and identify your values. This step can ultimately contribute to who you are as an individual. Additionally, people who focus on themselves may feel more satisfied with their lives and enjoy a higher quality of relationships.

We do want to note that focusing on yourself doesn’t have to mean completely shutting out other people; however, it does mean taking some time to yourself to know yourself more intimately. Relationships with friends, family, romantic partners, and others are generally very important and can certainly contribute to the quality of your life — but knowing who you are and taking valuable moments to pause and reflect is just as imperative.

Here are a few benefits you can expect when you focus on yourself before dating.

You may have a better idea of your ideal partner

Many individuals might choose to enter into various relationships, only for these relationships to eventually fail at one point or another. Going into a relationship with an idea of what you want from a partner can help to increase your chances of a healthier, more satisfactory experience. 

But why? 

A potential reason may be that not all people are compatible with one another. Knowing who you are and what you want can mean that you’ll be in a better position to determine what your ideal partner is, which can help you find someone that aligns with your foundational needs and wants. If you know that you’re with someone who you want to be with in the long-term, you may be better able to navigate any differences that might arise between you. 

You might not be reliant on someone else for happiness

A central part of focusing on yourself generally means discovering what makes you happy. This could mean finding balance, taking up a new hobby or simply exploring the idea of being by yourself during certain seasons. 

Seasons of singleness can be useful as you learn different elements of who you are and what you prefer. When you focus on being happy before dating, you may not be forced to rely on another person to be happy. 

Dating and relationships can contribute to your happiness as an individual, but you may not want to be reliant upon dating and relationships to be a happy human being. When you know who you are and what makes you happy before you start dating, it can be a lot easier to maintain this happiness, regardless of your relationship status.

You may have better motives

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Different people may date and enter relationships for various reasons. For example: People may choose to get together because they don’t want to be alone, or they are looking to feel whole. They may also want to date for status, accomplishment, or other personal motivations. 

However, dating may be likelier to go well when both parties are engaging in it for the right reasons. Focusing on yourself before you begin to date can allow you to work on yourself internally, rather than to seek internal necessities from external sources. 

You may attract a better partner

Being at your best when you start dating might allow you to attract someone who is also at their best as you make a good first impression during your first encounter. They can see the natural radiance and unique qualities you have to offer in full display, which may accelerate the dating process and offer you a higher overall sense of self-confidence. 

Your first responsibility can truly be to yourself

In life, your first responsibility can be to yourself. Focusing on yourself can allow you to grow as an individual, pinpoint areas that need improvement and make sure that you’re doing well.

If you need to take a break from dating or make other moves for the sake of your health and wellbeing, consider doing so worry-free. The people who are meant for you will generally be respectful of your needs and interests.

How can online therapy help those looking to get to know themselves?

The concept of getting to know yourself on a more intimate basis can feel overwhelming. You may feel “stuck” in analysis paralysis or feel ill-equipped to seek traditional in-person therapeutic support. 

Online therapy can be a helpful tool in this case, connecting you with a licensed counselor from the comfort of your own home (or another safe space). You can message your therapist from your smart device any time you’re looking for extra support. 

Is online therapy effective for those trying to find themselves?

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Looking to start your self-discovery journey?

Our understanding of our own identities and preferences can be skewed for any number of reasons — such as life’s stressors, previous trauma, and mental health conditions (like anxiety disorders or depression). In these cases, online therapy can be an effective way to uncover new elements of our personalities.

The question: Is online therapy effective?  

With so many options available, patients may want extra assurance that they’re making the best possible decision for their unique health needs. Many councils, groups and bodies of researchers have taken the time to assemble the evidence and truly explore the efficacy of online therapy. 

Recent data from the National Council on Aging shows that online therapy is scientifically supported to be just as effective as in-person therapy, especially for those experiencing the manifestations of mental health conditions (such as bipolar disorder, depression, or anxiety disorder) or trauma. 

Takeaway 

If you’re considering dating, you might also evaluate the possible benefits of taking time away first to truly learn yourself — diving deep into your unique elements of personality, likes and dislikes. Taking the time to do this can lead to more fulfilling relationships and higher self-confidence. Online therapy can be a helpful tool to consider using on your journey of self-discovery and has been scientifically supported as a comparable alternative to in-person therapeutic options. Regain can match you with a licensed therapist in your area of need. 

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