Four Reasons Why Being Selfish Won't Make You Happy

Selfishness is, as you might expect, not usually the golden path to happiness. This is not to say that people shouldn’t look out for themselves or make smart decisions which are conducive to their success. However, self-awareness and self-care become selfishness when an individual’s moves to better themselves happen at the expense of others. Many selfish people find various ways to justify their behavior, but it doesn’t change the reality that being selfish probably won’t make you happy.

As a general rule, selfishness tends to alienate others and make them less likely to want to deal with you. Think about it: would you want to be around someone who only thought about themselves and disregarded the needs and feelings of yourself and others? People who are close to you may be willing to put up with selfishness for a while, but if the behavior continues at length, you’ll eventually notice the fallout in one way or another, and you may find yourself a very unhappy person.

The inevitably unhappy outcomes of being selfish

It’s one thing to be told that being selfish won’t make you happy. Learning the specific reasons why may drive the point home on a deeper level. The following reasons provide additional insight into why being selfish won’t make you happy.

Other people will lose respect for you

To get respect, you have to give respect. This means carrying yourself in a manner which shows that you’re taking the thoughts and feelings of others into account. A selfish employer may order their subordinates to engage in various tasks and refuse to take feedback from those who work for them. They may even justify these decisions by telling themselves that they’re the boss, they're higher up on the food chain, and therefore they know what’s best for business. The employees may put up with this for a while, but may eventually begin to resent their boss or even quit.

Now, let’s contrast this scenario against another employer who knows how to give orders, but also take the feedback of their workers into account. Perhaps this particular employer can learn something new and therefore take steps which lead to long-term success for the company. Not only does this lead to a better outcome for the employer, but the workers are more likely to respect and appreciate their boss, thus fostering a positive working environment.

Selfishness may appear to be beneficial in the short-term, but as time passes, its negative impacts often begin to manifest.

What goes around comes around

How you choose to treat people tends to come back to you, in one way or another. Many people find it easy to be selfish when things are going in their preferred direction and working out well. However, one of the realities of life is that everyone needs help or assistance sometimes. This isn’t something to be ashamed of; no person is an island unto themselves.

Selfishness tends to blind people, and if you adopt selfish behavior, you may, one day, find yourself needing the assistance of those who you previously disregarded. Most individuals remember how others have treated them, and you may subsequently find yourself out of luck at a time where you need someone’s help. You reap what you sow, meaning that the treatment you deliver to others generally finds its way back to you and could cost you the help you need.

You’ll miss out on opportunities

Showing care and regard for other human beings can open up doors which would otherwise remain closed. So often, many people fail to realize this until they’ve missed out on what would have been a great opportunity. These opportunities can exist in business, in platonic friendships, and other areas of life. Being connected to others also provides opportunities for personal growth, the expansion of knowledge, and broader perspectives on life. Sometimes, selfish people will never know that they’ve missed out on meaningful opportunities.

You won’t learn as much 

As we go through life, we should all be learning and growing. Unfortunately, selfishness tends to make you think you know it all; furthermore, selfish people are generally too preoccupied with their own thoughts, agendas, and concerns to hear out other individuals. In the long term, this works against you, seeing as everyone has a unique perspective on various parts of life.

Learning from others can aid you in becoming better at your job or help you expand your knowledge. If you’re not learning, you’re spinning your wheels as other people in the world grow and move ahead with new knowledge. At some point, the lack of learning will catch up to you; this does not foster happiness in any manner whatsoever.

Rising above selfishness

Although it may be hard to change old habits, rising above selfishness is quite possible. For this to happen, you have to be willing to make certain changes in life; the very first step involves recognizing that selfishness is a problem. There are many individuals moving through this world who genuinely see no issues with selfishness. Many people justify their selfishness and convince themselves that their behavior is more beneficial for them than exhibiting concern for the thoughts and feelings of others. Until a person realizes that selfishness is not a virtue, they won’t be able to rise above it.

After realizing that selfishness is inherently problematic, you can take various steps to rectify your misdeeds of the past and create a better future.

The right course of action will ultimately depend upon your situation and which mistakes you made. An employer who has exhibited selfishness in the workplace can turn over a new leaf by asking for the feedback of their workers. Someone else who has been selfish in their romantic relationship can apologize to their significant other and take actions to show that the other person’s feelings are relevant. Rising above selfishness doesn’t mean that you should never think about yourself or prioritize your interests; however, it does mean that you don’t dismiss or step on others for the sake of yourself or your interests.

Selflessness and happiness

Social science has proven that true happiness is found in positive connections with others. This inherently demands selflessness and the ability to connect with others. As a matter of fact, selflessness turns each of the reasons why selfishness won’t make you happy upside down. This means that you’ll get more respect from others, and the positive energy you put out into the world will come back to you; likewise, you’ll also experience an abundance of opportunities and learn more in life.

Sometimes, people adopt selfish ways in life due to past traumas or hurts. Being manipulated or taken advantage of by others can lead someone to believe that solely focusing on themselves is the only way to get ahead in life. It’s ironically tragic that adopting this mindset only continues the vicious cycle of selfishness and passes hurt and trauma onto others. Embracing selflessness and happiness are exceptional ways of breaking vicious cycles and creating positive, new cycles.

Online therapy for overcoming selfishness

Turning over a new leaf is a courageous step which should be lauded. However, this isn’t something that you have to do on your own. Believe it or not, having the support and guidance of others can help you make a change. Letting go of selfishness and embracing true happiness are major steps which signify true growth and development. Having the support of those who are closest to you can truly make a positive difference as you embark on this journey.

Professional help and guidance can also positively contribute to your individual growth and happiness. Therapy has a proven track record of helping people from all walks of life to address issues which have previously hurt them. It’s also important for you to know that working with a therapist is nothing to be ashamed of; the ability to seek out professional help is very indicative of personal strength and self-awareness.

If you are interested in working with a therapist, then you may want to consider signing up for online therapy with Regain. Regain comes with multiple benefits. First and foremost, you’ll be able to get personalized guidance which is uniquely designed for you. General tips are all well and good, and they can help you to change. However, directly working with an online therapist can be much more effective for dealing with specific matters.

Another unique upside of online therapy is the ability to work with a specialist, regardless of your geographic location. We all have busy schedules and various obligations to fulfill. Online therapy makes it possible to get the necessary support without having to uproot your schedule or disrupt any of your plans. Online therapy is often even more effective than in-person therapy.

Takeaway

Working with an online therapist will provide you with a professional, trusted confidant and the skills to overcome any hurdles which present themselves to you. With time, dedication, and consistency, you will be able to use challenges as opportunities for growth and come out on the other side stronger and happier than ever.