How Do You Know If Someone Likes You Back? Nine Ways To Tell The Attraction Is Mutual
Having a “crush” on someone can be exciting. You may feel the adrenaline in your body (also known as butterflies) when they’re near; you may look for reasons to be around them, and you’re probably attentively looking for clues that they like you back. Whether your attraction is mutual will likely influence when you put your feelings out in the open and take the next steps toward establishing a relationship with that person.
The following are ways that you may be able to tell if the person you like likes you back:
They make eye contact
Because someone makes eye contact with you isn’t necessarily a guarantee that they’re interested in you – but studies have found that we tend to make more frequent eye contact with people we are interested in. This doesn't mean we should stare at them until we make them uncomfortable. It simply means that it might be a sign of attraction if your eyes meet and linger on a regular basis.
They lean in while you talk
Another way to tell that someone may be interested in you is if they get closer to you as you're talking. They may enter your personal space by sitting next to you, turning towards you, or leaning in while you're talking. These elements of body language are all indicators that someone may have feelings for you.
They laugh at your jokes
Humor and laughter can play an essential role in relationships, so you may want to pay attention to how the person you’re interested in jokes around you or reacts to the jokes you make. Research suggests that women tend to laugh easier at the humor of someone they’re attracted to. And men tend to want to find a woman that thinks they're funny and will laugh at their jokes. If you find that when you're with this other person, you're both laughing a lot together, and they seem to pick up on your jokes (even if they're not that funny), it could be a sign that they're interested in you.
They remember little things that you said
Not only will they remember the details of things you’ve said, but they may act on them. For example, you may have said that you like a certain kind of candy bar, and then one day, they'll bring it to you. Or, you may have mentioned your plans for the weekend, and the next time you see them, they remember that and ask you about how it went. If someone takes an increased interest in you, it's a good indication that they have feelings for you.
They engage in conversation and try to find out more about you
If someone is interested in you, they may want to learn all they can about you. They want to engage you in conversation and ask you lots of questions to find out information about you. If they are unsure of your feelings, they may try to hint around and ask questions to find out if you're single or not. If you find that you're in a group of people, that person will likely find a way to engage you directly in conversation. They could also add you on social media, allowing you to stay in touch even when you’re not physically together.
They make sensitive physical contact
The amount of touching or lack of touching between the two of you can indicate their feelings for you. People tend to want to touch the people that they're interested in. This isn’t referring to inappropriate touching. For example, they may lightly touch your arm as you talk or place their hand on the small of your back as you walk.
They tease you jokingly
If someone is interested in you, they may tease and joke with you. This could be a way to flirt and let you know they're interested. They may make a joke about you or tease you a little bit, but not in a way that hurts your feelings or makes you feel uncomfortable.
If someone isn't interested in you, they’re less likely to take the time to establish little inside jokes with you. If you’re constantly joking around with each other and seem to have a connection that other people don't “get,” there may be a mutual attraction. Sometimes this can be as simple as a look you can give each other when talking.
They seem to perk up when you enter the room
Just as you feel excited to see them, if your crush is interested in you, it will brighten their day when you are present. That means you may notice their spirits lift as you walk into a room. This could be that a smile comes across their face, their eyes light up, or their posture is raised. And, chances are, if they're interested in you, they will pay attention to where you are. They may hope you will enter the room and they are happy when you do.
They try to impress you
If you feel that the other person is trying to impress you, it can signify that they're interested in you. This can look a lot of different ways. For example, they may want to get competitive about something you’re both interested in. Not to brag but to establish a lighthearted connection and show you that they are a worthy partner. They may act this way because they want you to be impressed with them and, subsequently, want to be with them.
Discuss your relationship with an online therapist
If you have strong feelings for someone or an attraction to them and want to know if they feel the same way you do, you can look for the signs mentioned above. But if you want a sure-fire answer, the best thing you can do is be upfront and direct with them. This may mean asking them out or simply conversing to see where they stand.
Be sure to go about this carefully so you don't make them uncomfortable or scare them off. It is possible to misread someone's behavior and think they are interested when not.
Being attracted to someone who doesn't share your feelings can hurt, and it isn’t always easy to process your emotions and figure out how to move forward. If you find yourself in this situation, support from friends and loved ones can help, but it can also be awkward or difficult, depending on the situation. The people nearest to you may also show bias and may not be the best people to help you examine your feelings.
Talking to a counselor is an excellent alternative or supplemental option. A therapist specializing in intimacy and relationships can work with you individually to help you process the complicated feelings associated with unrequited affection. A good therapist will also help you to cultivate healthy self-esteem, so you’ll feel confident in pursuing other possibilities for romance.
Many people believe you must struggle with mental health challenges such as anxiety, depression, trauma, etc., to talk to a counselor. Another misconception is that the only way to get help on relationships from a therapist is if you're already in one. But counseling is for anyone experiencing emotional difficulties who need help putting them into perspective so they may move forward productively.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
With the rise in popularity of online platforms such as Regain, it’s easier than ever to get matched with a professional with experience helping people navigate relationships and the dating world. You can speak with a therapist online at a time that fits your schedule from the comfort of home via phone, text, online messaging, and video chat. Online treatment is often less expensive than traditional therapy without insurance and is just as effective as conventional therapy.
Takeaway
It isn’t always easy to tell if someone you have a crush on is interested in you, too, particularly if barriers to self-esteem and confidence are holding you back. A Regain counselor can help you find the self-confidence to talk to your romantic interests and pursue healthy relationships.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
How do you know if a guy likes you secretly?
You’re talking to a person for a few weeks, and you start to develop feeling towards them and begin to wonder whether the person you are talking to likes you back. It is always tricky to find out whether your crush likes you; however, there are a few signs that someone likes another person that you can look for to see if your crush likes you.
The first sign is eye contact. If your crush likes you, they will constantly be checking on you, or you might find yourself locked in prolonged gazes with them. If you start to notice that your crush is looking at you more than usual, it can be a sign that they have developed feelings for you.
Body language is another sign that your crush likes you. When you’re in a group of people, if your crush angles their body towards you, meaning his face, hips, and toes are all pointed in your direction, even if you’re at a distance from each other, it is a good sign that they might be interested in you. Similar to body language, if your crush starts touching you by putting their hand on your shoulder or hugging you more than usual when you’re hanging out, it is a good sign that your crush likes you.
Another sign that your crush likes you is their sense of humor. When your crush likes you back, they will do anything to put a smile on your face, which often means cracking jokes or cheering you up when you express that you’re upset. If you start to notice that this behavior is directed towards you when you’re hanging out with other people, and the behavior is not directed to anyone else in the group, it’s a good sign that your crush likes you.
When a person likes you, they’ll find time in their day to talk to them, no matter how busy they might be. For some people, this can mean that they will call you back immediately or respond to your texts quickly. When your crush likes you, they will likely never want to stop the conversation because they enjoy being around you, and your conversations will quickly begin to feel essential. Your crush will likely want to know about your personal life and start asking for more detailed information about your life to feel they can really get to know who you are on a deeper level.
While a person shows that they like another person in different ways, there is a strong chance that your crush likes you back when a person is showing these signs.
What are the most obvious signs that your crush likes you?
One of the most obvious signs that your crush likes you is that they begin talking to you more than they did in the past and will want to be around you. When your crush likes you, they will reach out more often than they did before they developed feelings for you because they enjoy your presence and want to get to know you better. Your crush may also show signs of nervousness when they are around you because they might not be sure how you feel towards them. People feel that if their crush isn’t doing these things that it’s necessarily a bad thing; however, it’s important to keep in mind that people have different schedules, and what might seem like not a lot of time spent with you could actually feel like a lot of time for your crush who works 80-hours a week. When your crush likes you, the bottom line is that they will make time for you, regardless of how busy they are.
How do you know if a guy is interested or just being nice?
When a person is interested in another person, they will do anything they can to get to know them. If a guy is interested in you, he will think of ways to contact you even if he is busy. Some guys might be too afraid to walk right up to a girl but will feel comfortable talking to them over text or social media. Guys who are interested in you will ask many questions because they want to know everything about you, whereas guys who are just being nice likely won’t take such an interest in you.
Another way to tell the difference is whether your crush is constantly checking the time or not. When a guy is truly interested in you, he won’t have the slightest concern about the time when you’re together, and oftentimes, you’ll both lose track of how much time you’ve spent together. Similarly, when he’s with you, he will be so engaged in the conversation or activity you’re doing that he won’t be checking his phone. When a guy is just nice, the time spent together will usually be limited, and he won’t think twice before checking his phone.
When a guy is interested in you, he will try to impress you. Whether it’s volunteering to do something for you so he’ll feel like a hero in your eyes or smaller gestures such as telling you about his job or something difficult that he recently accomplished, he will try to impress you, so you do not doubt that he is interested in you.
Does he secretly have a crush on me?
When you first start liking someone, it can be really hard to tell whether your crush likes you back. Don’t feel discouraged by this – it’s perfectly normal. Figuring out whether your crush likes you can feel as difficult as cracking a secret code, but it doesn’t have to be. To figure out whether your crush likes you, let’s consider a few things.
The first is whether your crush makes eye contact with you. When your crush likes you, they will start looking at you more and won’t want to take their eyes off you. Similar to eye contact, when your crush likes you, they will physically angle their body towards you when in a group setting to let you know that they are thinking of you.
Oftentimes, the physical angling of their body happens subconsciously, so it’s a good thing to look for when trying to determine whether your crush likes you. Another sign your crush likes you is that they are talking to you more often than they have in the past, you both lose track of time when you are with one another, and they ask a lot more questions about your life than they ever have before.
How do you tell if a guy is sexually attracted to you?
There are many signs to look for when figuring out whether your crush likes you or not. Some of these include eye contact, physically angling their body towards you in group settings, touching you or talking to you more than they have previously, and losing track of time when spending time together. However, when it comes to sexual attraction, it is important to discuss the hero’s instinct. The hero’s instinct is a term coined by James Bauer and is the biological drive inside men to live a life of meaning and provide for those he cares about and the desire to earn respect from those around him. In other words, men want to feel like a hero when they’re around a woman they are attracted to.
What are 10 signs that someone likes you?
What to do if the person likes you back?
How long can a crush last?
How do you tell if someone likes you but is trying not to?
How do I know if I actually like someone or just the attention?
How do you know she likes you back?
What are psychological signs someone likes you?
How do I know if I caught feelings for her?
How do you deal with someone who likes you?
How do you know if a woman likes you secretly?
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