How To Appreciate The Little Things In Your Marriage
In today's world, many people get wrapped up in the "things" they have—or want to have—in their lives. Many value extravagant gifts, fancy dinners, and big efforts over the little things. This mindset frequently carries over to how people look at their relationships. You may find yourself much happier when you learn to appreciate the little things in life and the little things in your marriage. Appreciating the little things in your marriage can also help strengthen your relationship and help you be more content with your partner's efforts. As an added bonus, appreciating the little things is also very beneficial for your mental health.
The importance of appreciating the little things in marriage
When you appreciate the little things, you can experience positive emotions many times during the day. It's easy to get caught up in a negative mindset, but noticing the little things that bring you happiness could make you much happier overall. If you only find happiness in the big gestures and important events that life brings, you may not experience happiness on a regular basis. The reality is that while big gestures and events are fun and should be enjoyed, many positive little things happen each and every day. You may begin to notice that you're not as phased by the negative things that come along when you're focused on all the positive little things happening each day.
Learning to appreciate the little things can also help you become better at controlling your emotions, which may, in turn, help your marriage become stronger. Learning how to see the positives and controlling your emotions can help you when times get tough and you may find yourself more able to remain calm to sort things out. Appreciating the little things in your marriage is an excellent practice for both you and your spouse. When you both focus on the positives, you may find your arguments less frequent and less heated. Here are some other reasons you should learn to appreciate the little things.
Gratitude can provide mental health benefits
Appreciating the small things and practicing gratitude are great for your mental health. Everyone experiences negative situations, events, and even feelings. How you process these negative areas of life is what will affect your mental health. You can learn to process your negative emotions better by reducing the number of negative events you give time to. It takes practice, but you can choose to focus on the positives of life. The changes may not be evident at first as you are developing a new mental habit, but your focus on gratitude can make negative events easier to cope with over time.
If you or your spouse struggles with having a negative mindset or practicing gratitude, make a point to sit down each day and point out the good things that happened. Make it a habit to discuss what went right in the day and have a positive conversation. Many couples come home after work and have venting sessions about how they dislike their job, co-workers, boss, commute, and more. While talking about your struggles with your spouse can be healthy, it should not become a habit. If you know you and your spouse have this habit, turn it around and talk about the positives instead. Doing this can help you both end the day on a good note.
Life can be more enjoyable
When you change your mindset and focus on the positive things, small or large, life is much more enjoyable for you. When you intend each day to appreciate the little things in life and your marriage, you may find yourself much more thankful. Reminiscing over your relationship together and pinpointing the positive can help you enjoy your life. When you and your partner live this way, your marriage may be much more enjoyable, as well as healthier. Both you and your spouse may greatly benefit from noticing the small efforts you make for each other. Focusing on these little things can make your relationship feel harmonious and strong.
You can learn to be more resilient
All marriages face problems, and all couples have to work through arguments. These disagreements can be productive for you and your spouse to work through when done healthily. When you focus on the positives of each situation and work together as a team, you can become more resilient. When a problem comes up, focusing on the positives of your marriage can help you stay motivated to resolve the conflict. You can both learn from the situation and become even stronger. When you have taken the time to appreciate the little things in your marriage, the big arguments may be much easier to manage.
How to appreciate the little things in your marriage
So, you may be wondering how to start appreciating the little things. It may seem like this mindset change will take a lot of work and time. The truth is, it is an easy change, and, with time, it can become a habit that you don't have to put effort into. Here are a few ways you can appreciate the little things in your married life.
Slow down
Taking the time to slow down can be one of the biggest factors in helping you appreciate the small stuff. Slowing down can force you to notice the small day-to-day things that are often overlooked. Many people get too busy to notice and appreciate the little things. We are taught that we must be busy and multi-task to be successful. Being in the habit of moving full speed through your day and rushing through life can affect all of your relationships. To be intentional and develop your relationships, you must slow down.
At work, you may be required to multi-task and get things done at a very rapid pace. Be cognizant about whether or not you bring this behavior home. Your marriage is not something you should rush and multi-task your way through. You may have a very difficult time connecting with your partner when you do this. Being in the moment with your spouse and placing your full focus on them is the best way to develop your relationship. Slowing down and not being distracted can help you see everything differently. You and your partner will be able to spend more quality time together when you focus on each other instead of trying to multi-task. When you two are together, stop whatever else you are doing and put all distractions away. Focus on just each other and enjoy spending time together to develop your marriage.
Start a gratitude journal
Starting a gratitude journal to remind you of the positives in life can benefit both you and your marriage. You can buy a journal specifically for gratitude journaling, buy a normal notebook from the store, or use one you already have lying around. To start, you can decide whether you want to add this to your morning routine or evening routine. Set a goal of how many positives you would like to identify each day. Many people try to write down at least ten positive things, but do whatever you think is realistic for you. The things you take note of can be something as small as your spouse complimenting you or something as big as celebrating your anniversary. As time goes on, you will find that you will write even more things that you are feeling grateful for.
A study by Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough found that gratitude journaling is beneficial for your mental health and daily life. The participants in the study were found to be much happier in general when they took the time to write out what they were thankful for. Even on the worst of days, sitting down and making a note of something positive can greatly benefit your overall well-being. This can be especially helpful after you and your spouse argue, as you can focus afterwards on things you appreciate about your spouse.
Focus on the positives
Along with writing down the positives about your spouse or your life each day, try to focus on the positives of your marriage. Be sure you are not feeling contempt or holding a grudge over your spouse for what you feel they don't do for you. Change your mindset and focus on what your spouse does for you and the things they bring to the table. Do they support you no matter what or try to cheer you up on a bad day? Are they great parents to your kids? Are they great cooks? Try to focus on these things, no matter how difficult it may be.
Pay attention to what your spouse does to connect with you. Whenever your spouse makes a small attempt to touch base with you, do your best to notice their actions. Many people call these actions "emotional bids." These emotional bids are investments into your relationship, making it healthier and happier. Responding and appreciating the little things your spouse does can greatly benefit your marriage over time.
Thank your spouse for something small each day
Every day, thank your partner for something small they did. Being intentional about letting your spouse know you recognize their efforts will make them feel appreciated and loved. Let them know that you appreciate what they do for you and your family, no matter how small the action was. It can be anything: picking up a small mess, doing the dishes, taking the trash out, rubbing your back, making dinner, or taking care of the kids or pets. This may even motivate them to help out more, as they know you're taking notice of their actions.
It may take some effort to notice the small things your spouse does for you. Life can be very hectic between work, kids, and other daily responsibilities. At first, you may need to slow down and intentionally ask yourself, "What can I thank my spouse for right now?" Over time and with practice, however, it can become second nature to thank your spouse for the little things they do.
Practice gratitude with online therapy
When you learn to appreciate the little things in your married life, you will likely be a much happier person. Changing your mindset may take some effort, but there are ways to make it easier for you. Start appreciating the little things today, and you may well see positive changes in your marriage as early as tomorrow.
How online therapy can help you appreciate the little things in your marriage
Some relationships need more than a mindset change to get back on track towards happiness. If you feel your marriage needs more help, please consider attending relationship counseling. A licensed counselor can help you and your spouse communicate better and work through your issues. Regain is an online platform that makes connecting with a therapist a breeze. Once you're matched with a therapist, you and your partner can have a session at a time that works with everyone's schedule—and the sessions can take place right at home.
Takeaway
Many couples have found online therapy to be very rewarding. Even happily married couples may benefit from online therapy to help maintain their communication skills and ensure that everything in the relationship and even the house is running smoothly. Online therapy makes it easy to find the perfect counselor for you—and that's something everyone can appreciate.
How do you appreciate the little things in life?
To appreciate the little things in life, try setting aside a little time each day (or even weekly) to think about what you are grateful for in your overall life and regular interactions with others. Keeping a gratitude journal to record what you are thankful for can be helpful. Think about contrasts, about more difficult times, to help you recognize what is good in the present. In other words, focus on what is going right rather than what is lacking. If things don’t seem as positive as you’d like them to be, remind yourself that setbacks are temporary and that you have the power to change things in your life. Experiencing and expressing gratitude are great ways to start.
For example, during the morning, your husband might make the effort to brew a cup of coffee for you but forget to add sugar. Instead of complaining that it tastes bitter, take a moment to appreciate the gesture itself—the thoughtfulness and time it took your hubby to show they care. Small acts like these are worth cherishing.
You can also cultivate gratitude through connection. If faith and spirituality are a big part of your life, take time to pray together, reflect on your blessings, and remind yourself why you got married in the first place. Life’s most meaningful and blessed moments often come from these small, loving gestures.
What do you call a person who appreciates the little things?
There is not one specific name for a person who appreciates the small things in life. However, there are two good words to describe a grateful person: appreciative and optimistic. An optimistic person sees the positive side of situations and people. Being appreciative means recognizing the things that others do for you.
What does "enjoy the little things" mean?
“Enjoy the little things” means taking the time to appreciate the common things in your daily life. Instead of focusing on momentous events or occasions, enjoying the small things in life means noticing and being grateful for everyday happenings. You might experience something little but enjoyable by using your senses—like smelling a scent that you like or appreciating the color of the sky—or through interactions with others—such as a smile or a laugh. Enjoying the little things along with big things can help you feel gratitude and a sense of well-being and can even help you build resilience, which is a positive trait to have, especially when you face more difficult times while being married.
What is a gratitude list?
A gratitude list is simply a list you make of things that you are grateful for. Regularly writing down what you are thankful for can make you happier and help boost your sense of appreciation and outlook. Keeping a gratitude journal or regularly writing gratitude lists can help you shift your focus from what is going wrong to what is going right. When making a gratitude list or gratitude journal, one approach is to write down three good things that happened each day and note why they happened. This can help you be mindful of the good things in life (including things about your partner or relationship). Keeping a list or a journal can help you understand why and when you have these positive feelings to sustain them.
Why should we appreciate little things?
Appreciating the little things means practicing gratitude in our daily lives, leading to better emotional and physical health. Gratitude and appreciation can help people manage stress. Appreciative people also tend to be more optimistic, which is linked to better immunity and health. Gratitude is also associated with greater happiness, positive emotions, the strength to deal with adversity, and stronger relationships. Experiencing and expressing gratitude can help you improve your mindset; you can use your appreciation to live a better life.
What are the 3 most important things in marriage?
The three most important things in a happy marriage are communication, trust, and effort.
- Communication: Open and honest communication is essential for a strong bond between a husband and wife, or any couple, whether it's a meaningful conversation at night or a quick check-in in the morning. Once you’re married, being willing to share and truly hear each other’s thoughts and feelings can make all the difference. Good communication fosters understanding and connection.
- Trust: Trust is the foundation of any marriage—it’s what allows married couples to build a strong and healthy life together. Keeping your word, staying loyal, and trusting each other’s intentions can create a solid partnership.
- Effort: A happy marriage doesn’t just happen—it requires consistent effort on a daily basis. This includes being a good mom, dad, or caregiver for the children in your family, showing love in small, meaningful ways, supporting each other's dreams, and making time for each other even during busy times. Little things like a kind word, a spontaneous date night, or a thoughtful gesture can make a big difference.
When these three pillars are strong, they create a safe, loving, and enduring partnership.
What little things can I do for my wife?
The little actions you do on a daily basis can make a big difference in creating a happy marriage. Start with simple gestures—open the car door for her or leave little notes for her. Even if it’s something small, it shows a conscious effort to care. In the morning, leave her a sweet message or give her a kiss before starting your day. During the day, you can share an article you think she might appreciate. Do your part around the house—whether it’s setting the table for dinner after a long day or making the bed in the morning, these little actions speak volumes.
Take time to check in with her, even if it’s late at night, just to ask how her day went. Show her you’re interested in how she’s doing. A little appreciation message can go a long way. These consistent acts of service will strengthen your bond and remind her that you’re a team.
How do you tell if your marriage is falling apart?
Recognizing if your marriage is falling apart can be difficult, but there are some key signs to watch for. It’s important to pay attention to these issues so you can address them before they cause lasting hurt.
- Lack of communication: If you and your husband, wife, or partner no longer openly talk about your feelings and you don’t truly hear each other, it can create emotional distance.
- Constant conflict or avoidance: Frequent arguments that never resolve or completely avoiding conflict altogether can signify trouble. Over weeks, these patterns can break down trust and connection.
- Isolation from others: If you or your spouse stop sharing time with friends, family, or other supportive relationships, it could mean there’s strain in the marriage. When you don’t feel like a team, even as a mom or dad to your children, it can be overwhelming.
- No hope for change: If one or both partners feel there’s no hope for improvement, it’s important to seek help.
If you are married and notice these signs, it may not signify the end of the relationship. Seeking help from a licensed marriage counselor can make a big difference. They can provide a supportive space to work through issues and rebuild trust.
For more guidance, consider reading a helpful blog post or article on overcoming challenges in marriage. Staying committed to the idea of unity in your relationship can remind you why you got married to your wife or husband in the first place.
What do the little things mean in a relationship?
The little things in a relationship mean everything. They may not seem as important now but these actions can accumulate into connection and love. Starting in the morning, bringing your partner a cup of coffee, sending a sweet message, or opening the car door for them to brighten their day shows thoughtfulness and care. At night, sharing your thoughts about the day before you go to sleep can build emotional intimacy. These gestures remind your partner they're appreciated and loved.
Surprise them with small but meaningful ideas, like planning a special weekend together or leaving a message just to say they’re amazing. Listen intently when they speak, showing you value their feelings and thoughts. Doing your fair share around the house, like washing dirty dishes or taking out the trash—can go a long way.
When they share their goals and dreams, encourage and support them. Little acts of kindness and consistent care prove that love is in everyday moments.
What are the 7 keys to marriage?
Being married doesn’t stop at the wedding vows—it is a lifelong journey of love, growth, and partnership. It requires daily effort and intentional actions to nurture the bond you share. Thus, here are 7 keys to a successful marriage:
- Communication: Open, honest, and respectful communication is the foundation of any strong marriage. Make an effort to truly hear your partner, whether it’s during morning coffee, before you lay down for bed, or even while taking walks together. Open communication can show your partner that they matter to you.
- Trust: Building and maintaining trust can be an important part of any relationship. As a husband or wife, showing your partner they can count on you through your words and little actions can create emotional security and connection.
- Commitment: A thriving marriage requires dedication, even in tough times. Staying committed means being present and showing up for each other daily. Let your partner know that you miss them when you’re apart—it might not seem like much, but it can truly matter to them.
- Respect: It is important to treat your spouse with kindness and respect. Value their individuality and their contributions, even if it’s something small like helping with the car, it can make your partner feel loved and blessed.
- Love and Intimacy: Emotional and physical intimacy are crucial. Take time, hold hands or leave a thoughtful message during the day. A surprise, like breakfast in bed or a heartfelt note, can keep the love alive.
- Adaptability: Life changes, and so do relationships. Being flexible and willing to grow with your partner is key. Whether it’s adjusting your morning routines, managing your sleep schedules, or tackling unexpected challenges, adaptability can keep your bond strong.
- Shared Goals: A successful marriage thrives when both partners are aligned in their vision for the future. From planning financial goals to taking long walks to discuss dreams, these shared moments strengthen the relationship and remind you why you got married in the first place.
By focusing on these keys and infusing your relationship with love and consistent effort, you can create a marriage that leaves you both feeling blessed every day.
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