How To Be Authentic -- And How It Can Change Your Life

Put simply, being authentic means being true to yourself. While the word "authentic" can be used in various ways, the definition that applies in this context would be "representing one's true nature or beliefs.” Authenticity is a trait that many admire, but it can sometimes be difficult to implement and embody. How can you embrace your own authentic self? In this article, we’ll explore how authenticity can impact your life and offer a few ideas for ways to be more authentic.

The importance of authenticity

Before we dive into how to be more authentic, let’s examine the impact of authenticity. How can being authentic affect your life? Below are a few possible ways:

• Authenticity can help you build confidence: It can be hard to have true self-confidence if you are living an inauthentic life. If you feel that the only reason people like you and the reason you are succeeding is that you're pretending to be someone you're not, it can steal your confidence. You may struggle with feeling like an imposter, feeling that you need to keep up this façade to maintain your current life status. But when you live authentically, you can learn to accept yourself for who you are, imperfections and all.
• Being authentic can allow others to trust you: Trust is a crucial part of building a healthy relationship. If you are not authentic in your relationship, then the other person will not know who you truly are. If they think that they knew you and then find out that you've been putting on an act and have not been authentic, they may lose trust in you. This can impact romantic relationships, family relationships, friendships, and even working relationships.
• Authenticity can support healthier relationships: When you live authentically, you don't have to worry that your loved one will find out that you aren't honest. You can be true in your relationship and know that your partner accepts you for who you are and not who they think you are. Being your authentic self can deepen your partnership. If you aren't the real you in your relationship, it may only be able to go so far.

How to be authentic

It can be difficult to learn how to be authentic once you decide you want to. The following tips may help you to become more authentic and step into your true self:

Think about your younger self

Sometimes it's easy to get lost in the world that we've created. When you've lived for so many years trying to be or act a certain way, it can be difficult to remember who you are. If you want to be more authentic, it may help to think back to childhood. What were the things that mattered to you? What was your personality like before the outside world heavily influenced you? What made you happy or sad? What were you passionate about? While it's natural for certain interests and aspects of yourself to change over the years, taking time to think about who you were before you started trying to "fit in" with the world around you can help you find that place of authenticity.

Write down your values

Your values are an important part of your authentic self, and they aren't something that someone else can determine for you. Spend time thinking about what your values are in life. Once you have spent time thinking about this and knowing what's important to you, you can start using those values in your daily life. When you are setting your schedule or having conversations with others, you can remember your values and make sure they play a role in what you're doing.

Stop playing the comparison game

When you constantly compare yourself to others, it can be hard to want to be your true self. You may see others that you think are ahead of you in certain areas or have great success in life. This can cause you to want to mimic what they are doing to have what they have. Doing this can steal your authenticity. Instead of comparing yourself to others, try to celebrate the success of others with them. Be happy for them when they can be who they are. Then, focus on doing the same for yourself. Not only can this help you be more authentic, but you it help you to feel happier as well.

Learn to change your thinking

Changing your thoughts can also be a big part of learning how to live authentically. This could include learning how to overcome fear-based thinking. If you haven't been authentic because you're afraid of what others will think of you, then learning how to change your thinking could make a big difference. This can start by learning how to identify which thoughts are contributing to an inauthentic lifestyle. Once you know what those thoughts are, it becomes easier to identify them as you go about your day—work at paying attention to your thoughts so you can catch them when they happen. Then, you can choose more positive thoughts to replace the old ones with. This can help you to purposefully move forward in the direction you want to go to be more authentic. If you need help in this process, therapy can help.

Meet with a therapist

Figuring out how to live a more authentic life can be difficult, and sometimes, there can be other dynamics at play that make authenticity even more complicated. For instance, negative past experiences, low self-esteem, or challenging relationships could all make it feel more difficult to be your authentic self. But that doesn't mean that you have to give up on the idea of it. Talking with a licensed therapist can help you learn to live authentically. In fact, research has found online therapy to be effective at improving self-esteem, empowerment, and quality of life. 

If you are grappling with low self-esteem or other concerns that make it feel difficult to live authentically, sometimes the idea of seeking help in person may feel a bit daunting. With online therapy, you can meet with a therapist wherever you feel most comfortable and relaxed, as long as you have internet. 

Takeaway

Being your authentic self can help you gain confidence, earn trust from others, and develop deeper relationships. But figuring out how to be more authentic can sometimes be difficult. If this is something you’re experiencing, you can consider some of the tips and strategies detailed above. For additional support, online therapy can help.