Dating And Mental Health: Overcoming New Relationship Anxiety And Fear

Being in a new relationship can be exciting and may fill you with happiness and hope. Still, some individuals might experience new relationship anxiety. When you're just getting to know someone and discover that you like them, thoughts can sometimes turn catastrophic. For example, you may be worried about how your new partner perceives you and whether they will truly accept you for who you are.

This may be a normal experience for people beginning a new relationship, and even people who don't experience anxiety in their day-to-day lives may experience new relationship anxiety. Relationship anxiety could come up in many ways. You may be worried about getting your heart broken or potentially losing someone that you love, for instance. You may worry excessively about the idea of doing something wrong that could potentially end the relationship. However, this relationship anxiety may be detrimental to your relationship and even your mental health. It could be important to learn ways to cope with new relationship anxiety.

There may be effective methods to help you overcome any new relationship anxiety you may be experiencing. It might take some time, but it's possible that you can feel comfortable and at peace in your new relationship. If you're currently experiencing new relationship anxiety, it may be helpful to know that this is something that you can work on and overcome. To begin your journey toward freedom from new relationship anxiety, consider the strategies below.

Understand your attachment style

Attachment theory is a psychological theory created by John Bowlby, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, that explains that our relationships with our caregivers as children may shape other relationships in our lives when we’re older. John Bowlby identifies four attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Understanding your attachment style can help you understand your thoughts and behaviors in relationships. When you understand your patterns you can then navigate unhelpful thoughts and behaviors and learn how to effectively manage conflict in your relationships. 

Talk with trusted friends or family

Family and friends can be invaluable support systems in our lives. If you’re having difficulty overcoming anxiety in your new relationship, you might want to turn to a trusted family relative or a friend. They may provide advice or guidance from an outside perspective that could soothe any worries you may have. 

Talking to people close to you can be especially helpful if they have met your new partner. They may know you well, so they can give you an honest assessment of the relationship. You might be worried that your new partner may not be right for you. Perhaps you're worried that you're not good enough for them. Having confidantes to speak to about these concerns might help you put things into perspective.

Still, it could take time to get over this type of anxiety. You might not feel better immediately, but your support system can help you to get over these fears in time. In many cases, people may feel this fear due to their past relationship experiences. It could be important to look at past relationships as learning experiences, but you may also want to remember that your new partner is not the same person as your ex. Your friends or family might be able to give you a new point of view and help you look at things differently. This may potentially change your way of thinking about the situation. 

Work on your fitness

Perhaps the most common cause of new relationship anxiety is a lack of self-confidence. It's important to love yourself and your body the way it is, but there is an increased sense of self-confidence when individuals begin to work on their physical fitness goals. Exercise may make you feel more attractive and increase confidence levels. It can also boost endorphins, those feel-good hormones that make you feel happier and more content.

Being confident and practicing self-love can be important in all aspects of your life, and your new relationship is no exception. Still, it's important to remember that your worth isn't tied to whether you have six-pack abs or a flat stomach, and having those things may not make your partner love you more. It could be helpful to remember that your current partner chose you for a reason. They might think you're as attractive as you are, and they may love many other things about you as well. Still, exercising can help clear your mind, help you feel better about yourself, and boost your mood. All these things may be able to alleviate the new relationship anxiety you're experiencing.

Be open and honest with your partner

Communication is important in a relationship. Remember, this is your partner, so you don’t have to keep these relationship concerns to yourself. You may be surprised by how helpful it is to be open and honest with your partner and tell them the feelings you're experiencing. Successful relationships are built on trust. If you want to have a loving relationship that can stand the test of time, then you may want to avoid keeping things from your significant other. This might include your concerns and anxiety over your relationship. Your partner may be able to help you work through any anxious thoughts you're experiencing about your relationship.

If you're feeling self-conscious about your relationship in some way, it may be helpful to talk to your partner about it. They may be unintentionally doing something that is causing you to feel this way. Talking to them can bring these issues to light. It could be that they didn't realize something they were doing was making you feel a certain way. By talking about your fears or concerns, you can create space that can allow you to grow closer and more intimate as a couple. As a team, you can confront any fears and anxiety that you're experiencing head-on.

It may not be as easy for some individuals to begin these conversations, especially those experiencing anxiety. If you feel hesitant to bring up your concerns, it may be helpful to write a letter to your partner. This may allow you to get all your feelings out without any interruptions. It can also alleviate any anxiety you might have around the confrontation of a face-to-face conversation. Consider that communication may be one of the most crucial parts of a loving and healthy relationship. Being able to talk to your partner about the things bothering you might feel natural over time.

Don't be afraid to be yourself

Another reason people may be afraid of new relationships is because they worry about being accepted for who they truly are. For example, with the pressure of social media, some people may make the mistake of trying to be someone else to attract a partner. Playing a role and pretending to be someone you're not may not lead to a lasting bond, though, and it can be a difficult act to maintain. You might need to show your partner your true heart if you want your love to last.

It could be beneficial to remember that you are a unique individual with a lot of love to give. You may have your own attributes and skills that make you a desirable person. It could take time to open up to someone completely, but it may be worthwhile to let your new romantic partner in. Consider being yourself and getting to know your partner on a deeper level. It's possible to find the right person who loves you for exactly who you are.

Spend more time with your partner

Spending more time with your partner might help to alleviate your concerns, too. You might be anxious simply because the relationship is new and you don't know exactly where you stand. Eventually, things won't be that new any longer, and you might come to know each other on a deeper level. To get to that point, you may need to spend more time together.

Taking your new romantic interest out on dates could be a good way to get to know them better. You can talk about things that are important to you and express your passions. This may allow you to start to develop your feelings naturally and build a stronger connection. 

Relationships can take time, and you may have to put effort into getting to know someone. It could be helpful to remember that this is a new relationship, and it could be completely different from any of your past experiences. It may be important to avoid bringing any expectations or unsavory past experiences into this relationship. Consider going into things with an open mind and be ready to get to know someone who could potentially become the love of your life.

Speak to a doctor about new relationship anxiety

If you're experiencing anxiety in your life around a new relationship, it may be helpful to speak to a professional. Your anxiety may be deeply affecting aspects of your life or keeping you from having a fulfilling relationship. In this case, there is a chance that you might be experiencing an anxiety disorder. This is a common and manageable condition that can be treated using therapy and other treatment protocols.

Consider speaking with a doctor to review a possible treatment plan. A medical professional can diagnose the disorder and get you on the road to recovery. It can take time to get over an anxiety issue, but you can overcome it with dedicated professionals by your side.

Consider online mental health services if you need help

People prone to anxiety may be uncomfortable with the traditional therapeutic process. If you need help getting over new relationship anxiety but you’re hesitant to speak to a professional in person, you might want to contact an online counselor. This is a convenient way to get therapy from the comfort of your own home, and it may make you feel more at ease discussing your relationship issues. You may find that any concerns about your new relationship stem from the anxiety and doubts you have about yourself and not the actual relationship. A dedicated online therapist may be able to assist you by helping you to work through these challenges.

Effectiveness of online mental health care

Online counseling is a proven method of delivering mental health services, and it can help you regardless of your relationship status. A recent study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that videoconferencing was an effective way of counseling not only individuals but couples and families as well. 

Takeaway

You deserve to focus on being a good partner without lingering doubts or worries getting in the way. And you don't have to face this anxiety problem alone. The counselors at Regain understand the complexity of relationships and mental health challenges, and they’re here to help. Reach out to a compassionate online counselor today.