“How Well Do You Know Me?” Questions For Couples Looking To Learn More

Updated November 25, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

In a 2015 study, scientists used 36 questions to test if they could make two strangers fall in love. Their results showed that many people felt significantly closer after having answered those questions, especially if the scientists had given them positive expectations about the other person beforehand.

We all know how well you know me. Questions can be a fun way to pass the time. But that study showed that personal questions to fall in love also lead to more love and affection between two people

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Aside from nurturing affection between you and your loved one, getting to know you questions that test how well you are informed about the other person is great for understanding if a relationship between you and your partner can really work. You could feel completely enamored with someone, but if you can’t answer these questions, then your relationship might not logically work in the long term. There are also other resources with a more extensive list of deep questions to ask someone.

There are certain questions that every couple should be able to answer before they commit to each other.

Some of these “How well do you know me?” questions may even get you to think about things you didn’t consider before. Good questions help you understand another person, but great questions help you understand yourself as well.

We've compiled some questions to ask yourself and your partner. These are questions to test how well do you know your partner. Answer these questions with your partner and see if you get the correct answers!

“How well do you know me?” Questions to get to know your partner better

There are a lot of categories to delve into to know, "How well do you know your significant other?" These include questions about childhood, questions about your relationship, questions about travel, work questions, personal questions, and random questions. Take the time to sit together and listen. Try to use this exercise to understand your partner better.

Childhood and family questions

These are some of the most effective family and childhood questions to ask.

  1. Did your family raise you to be religious?

  2. Were your parents strict or relaxed?

  3. What was your favorite subject in school as a child?

  4. Who was your childhood celebrity crush?

  5. Who was your best friend in high school?

  6. Have you ever met a famous person?

  7. Who was your favorite author as a child?

  8. What type of music did you listen to as a teenager?

  9. Who would you look for at a high school reunion?

  10. What was your dream job as a child?

  11. As a child, did you want to be famous?

  12. Who was your first kiss?

  13. Who was your first school crush?

  14. Would you change anything about the way your parents raised you?

  15. What is your favorite restaurant in your hometown?

  16. Do you believe you had a happy childhood?

  17. Who was your childhood best friend?

  18. Who was in charge of your parent's relationship?

  19. How did your parents express affection to you growing up?

Relationship and love questions

Great love and relationship questions include:

  1. Is there anything you would change about your relationship with your parents?

  2. Who is your current celebrity crush?

  3. Do you believe in open relationships?

  4. What household chores do you do the most?

  5. What household chores do you absolutely hate?

  6. Do you ever see yourself getting married and settling down?

  7. Do you want to have children? If so, how many?

  8. Is religion important to you?

  9. Do you believe we are similar people?

  10. Are you jealous?

  11. Have you ever been cheated on?

  12. What is the biggest difference between us?

  13. What are the three qualities you admire about me?

  14. What was the worst fight you’ve ever had, with me or with someone else?

  15. How do you express affection? 

  16. Is it important to you that I maintain my physical appearance?

  17. Do you feel sexually satisfied in our relationship?

  18. How do I provide value to your life?

  19. Have you been in other relationships? If so, why did they fail?

  20. What is a common complaint from your past partners?

  21. What advice do you have for me in my life right now?

  22. Would you ever be willing to see a couple’s counselor if there were serious problems in our relationship?

  23. How much alone time do you need?

  24. Do you believe we could handle our fights better?

  25. What are the boundaries between us most important to you?

  26. How important is honesty to you as a value?

  27. How do you handle anger?

  28. What values are most important in our relationship?

  29. Are we good at apologizing?

  30. Are we willing to forgive?

  31. What role will your family or my family play in our life together?

  32. When conflict arises, do we avoid it or fight?

  33. Have you ever been in love with someone who didn’t love you back?

Travel questions

Effective travel questions to ask include:

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  1. What is at the top of your bucket list?
  2. Would you prefer a simple or luxurious home?
  3. What is the country you would love to visit?
  4. Where have you already traveled?
  5. Do you like to plan vacations or go with the flow?
  6. What is the worst trip or vacation that you’ve ever taken, and why?
  7. Is there a place in the world that you would like to show me?
  8. If you had to live in another country, where would you choose?
  9. What is your favorite restaurant while traveling?
  10. How important are vacationing and travel to you? How much of your budget do they constitute?
  11. What is your favorite season to travel?

Work questions

Some questions to ask about work are listed below.

  1. Do you have any student loans? Would you be comfortable with assuming them if we got married?

  2. Do you have any other debts?

  3. If you could work for anyone, who would you choose?

  4. How important is your career to you?

  5. If money weren’t a problem, what would your career be?

  6. What are the biggest sacrifices you’ve made for your career?

  7. Who is the worst coworker you’ve ever had?

  8. Have you ever had a boss you truly admired?

  9. What would the perfect career look like for you?

  10. Do you prefer to spend or save money?

  11. How much does your current lifestyle cost? Would you be capable of changing anything to cut down on costs?

  12. If we faced financial difficulties, what would you be willing to give up to ease the burden?

  13. Have you ever been let go? How did you handle it?

  14. How do you react when you are under financial stress?

  15. Do you have someone who could financially support you if you needed it?

  16. Do you have any monetizable skills?

  17. What amount of money available do you need to feel comfortable?

Personal questions

Note: Before asking certain questions, ensure that you and your partner are open to discussing difficult moments. Sometimes asking questions about traumatic events can lead to negative flashbacks. These questions should be fun and enlightening, not painful.

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

  1. Do your parents have a good relationship?

  2. If your parents separated, why do you believe it happened?

  3. Have you ever struggled with your mental health?

  4. Would you rather be powerful and evil or weak and good?

  5. Do you believe that life has meaning?

  6. What is a situation that makes you extremely anxious?

  7. What was the most embarrassing moment of your life?

  8. What was the worst day of your life?

  9. What was the best day of your life?

  10. When was the last time you sobbed?

  11. Are you afraid of death?

  12. Is there anything that you’ve never told me?

  13. What is something that you don’t like to talk to me about?

  14. What are the three things you feel most grateful for?

  15. Do you feel appreciated by me? How can I make you feel more loved?

  16. What is your biggest challenge right now?

  17. What is your greatest strength?

  18. What scares you the most about the future?

  19. What is something you are really proud of?

  20. What is your most important friendship, and why?

  21. What would you do if you had two weeks to live?

  22. What is a question or joke that offends you?

  23. Have you ever truly hated someone?

  24. Have you ever hated yourself?

Random questions

If you're looking for random questions to ask, below are some great ones to choose from.

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  1. Who is your favorite author?

  2. Can you play any instruments?

  3. What type of music do you listen to?

  4. Would you ever go to a school reunion?

  5. Pick a couple of people you couldn’t live without.

  6. If you had to sacrifice one part of your body, what would you choose?

  7. What is your favorite meal?

  8. Do you prefer the beach or the mountains?

  9. Do you prefer salty or sweet?

  10. Do you talk to yourself?

  11. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Online therapy for couples getting to know each other better

If some of your partner’s answers to these questions made you uncomfortable, don’t ignore them. Lean into it. Find out why it makes you uncomfortable and find out why you disagree. It is best to know if you and your partner are not on the same page about something.

“How well do you know me?” Questions to ask your partner in online therapy

If you worry about an unresolvable difference, it might help to speak with an online counselor. With a counselor, you and your partner can discern if your fights are normal bickering or if they’re a symptom of a greater issue.

Takeaway

Remember, more important than asking the questions is truly listening. Love and attention are closely intertwined, and it isn’t easy to have one without the other. After completing these questions, you will find that you and your partner not only know but understand each other on a deeper level.

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