“I Don’t Need Anyone”: How To Thrive While Being Single
While being in a relationship can provide value to some, others may find that they don't necessarily need a relationship now or in the future. That said, the societal pressure that many face can make us feel bad about not being in a relationship with someone. You may even get into a relationship because other people tell you it’s how to live your life the “right way.” Despite these demands, understand that you don't have to do anything that doesn't provide value in your life, including entering relationships with others.
If you do feel guilt or shame about your relationship status, it can make it hard to enjoy your life while you are single. But these feelings can be overcome so that you can live your life how you want to and thrive while single.
Here are some tips on how to enjoy life as a single person:
Release any guilt or unnecessary negative emotions
As mentioned, being single isn't always a joyous experience for people who think they must be in a relationship to be happy. They may feel the need to be constantly in a relationship because those closest to them recommend it. However, they may have found that being in a relationship is too constricting or limiting for them. Some people don't want a relationship, and it can be challenging to overcome the difficult feelings that may arise if you feel like you are letting yourself and others down.
The first step to resolving those feelings begins with realizing they have developed from others' beliefs, not your own. For example, you probably don’t feel guilty because you believe that you should be in a relationship-- you feel guilty because of other’s expectations.
The second step begins by figuring out what you want out of your life. If you do not want a relationship, that is your truth, which you should feel comfortable living by until you change your mind. Living life unapologetically single will remove all the negative emotions that may have come with your choice to stay single at this point.
Contemplate the direction you’d like to go in life
Taking on a relationship with a partner often means working on a relationship outside your own, which can take away some of the initial attention you would give yourself. This can steer you away from your own goals as you turn your focus over to the joint needs and goals you may have with your partner. Being single means having the freedom to pursue some of these goals.
Take some time to sit down and come up with a list of everything you have wanted to do before your last relationship or even some of the things you have always wanted to do. Make sure that they are specific so that you know exactly what you want to accomplish. For example, perhaps you have always wanted to perform music locally but have yet to have the time to practice and write music. You can make this a focus area as you set a deadline and milestones for your goal and slowly work towards them. Making your own path a priority will cultivate happiness in being single.
Try things that you were never able to try in a relationship
Only some partners you have will have the same interests as you. This may mean compromising on some things you want to do. Being single, however, allows you to do anything you want since your partner is now yourself. Take this opportunity to try things you were never able to do in a relationship. For example, if you have always wanted to climb Mt. Everest or wanted to try a cross-country trip, you’re free to plan accordingly. You can use this time to do what you have always wanted. If or when you are in a relationship later, you may not have the time or the ability.
Use your free time to take care of yourself
Self-care can often become less of a priority when juggling relationships and personal demands with your goals and dreams. Being single is the perfect time to focus more on your health and happiness. For example, lifestyle changes such as exercising or eating a better diet can help you feel better. You can also practice self-care by taking on new hobbies or doing things that make you feel relaxed and happy.
This is also an excellent time to do some self-exploration. Consider journaling or meditating to get in touch with your inner self—you may be surprised by what you discover. Much like your partner becomes a priority in a relationship, you should always be your priority when you are only focused on your relationship with yourself.
Cultivate your non-romantic relationships
Even though you are not in a romantic relationship, that doesn't mean you must be completely alone. Being in a committed relationship with someone else can make it harder to nourish your relationships with your family and friends. Now that you have plenty of free time take time out of your schedule to reconnect with these individuals. Your friends and family are just as crucial as any significant other, and touching base with these connections can be a valuable experience for many.
Even if you enjoy your own company and can be self-sufficient, total isolation from others is unhealthy for humans, leading to depression, anxiety, and the physical health problems that can accompany them. That’s why it’s essential to cultivate relationships with family, friends, colleagues, and others while you’re enjoying the single life.
Because we are naturally social beings, you must have some social interaction throughout your week. Visiting your family, inviting friends over for dinner, or joining a club or intermural sports league are great ways to maintain bonds with others and stay involved.
Find your way to thriving again in online therapy
Some people may enjoy being single but do not enjoy being alone in any capacity. Some feel lonely, some don’t like being left alone with their thoughts, and others may have difficulty establishing their own individuality. This aversion to being alone can sometimes, but not always, be a side effect of a mental health condition or insecurities. If you can relate to this situation, addressing these issues with a mental health professional who can help you work past them to thrive while you are on your own is essential.
The rise in popularity of online counseling has made it easier than ever to talk to a professional. Platforms like Regain put people in touch with licensed, accredited mental health professionals with experience in various backgrounds. You can speak with a Regain therapist from home on a schedule that suits you via text, online messaging, video chat, and phone.
Online therapy is affordable, and a growing body of evidence indicates it’s as effective as traditional therapy for treating a wide range of mental health conditions. For example, a publication in the National Center for Health Research evaluated three meta-analyses comparing the effectiveness of virtual and conventional therapy for trauma, anxiety, and depressive disorders— finding that “online therapy can be effective at treating anxiety, depression, and trauma.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
There is no difference in patient satisfaction depending on whether therapy is online or in-person, and for either method of receiving therapy, the outcomes are better the more sessions someone attends.”
Takeaway
Counseling isn’t only for those who need help with mental health and wellness issues. Talking with a counselor is also highly beneficial for exploring your inner self, obtaining guidance for making big life decisions, and navigating everyday challenges with life and relationships.
Whether you’d like to get in touch with yourself more intimately, you’re newly single and need help adjusting, or you’ve been single for a while but are having difficulty with being on your own, reaching out to a Regain professional can help you find balance and thrive as a single person.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
How do I not need anyone?
You may find yourself not wanting to take part in a relationship despite societal pressure. It is okay if you feel that you do not need anyone from a romantic standpoint. One way for you to not feel pressured into being in a relationship is to understand who you are as a person.
While you may feel that you do not need anyone, the most important person you should develop a strong emotional connection with is yourself. By being true and honest about your feelings, you can discover your passions, interests and learn how you engage with other people.
Thus, by learning to love yourself, you can then spend your time engaging in interests that make you feel happy. However, there is no such thing as going through life by yourself.
Is it normal to never want a relationship?
It is normal if you do not want a relationship. You should never force yourself to do something you do not want to do. Despite how easy it is to write the previous sentence, nobody says that not listening to your peers is a simple task.
People are physically and mentally strong. We can beat peer pressure and not involve ourselves in activities that we honestly do not want to partake in. Each individual possesses a unique personality, and while personality is affected by personal relationships and societal customs, we also have the power to choose how we act in the world.
Therefore, you can choose not to be in a relationship if you believe that you do not have any romantic interests. Instead of focusing on how others may perceive you, you can try focusing on yourself.
Do you need someone to complete you?
When couples describe themselves as feeling complete with their significant other, they are not making a statement that the whole world should follow. Rather, they are describing how they are most happy when they are together. Others may believe that they feel most satisfied with their life simply by loving themselves. Both expressions of love are correct.
Thus, you do not need or require someone to complete you. You do not have to force yourself to find someone else to “complete you.” The most important thing for you to do is ask yourself what you need to feel happy. This question does not have a single answer. The answer is something that only you can come up with. No matter what the answer is, so long as you feel that it is true and honest to yourself, that answer will be correct. You can also refer to helpful resources online about accepting who you are as a person.
Do I want a relationship?
The only person who can truly answer this question honestly is you. You can ask your friends and loved ones about your feelings about wanting a relationship. Their personal experiences with relationships may influence Their answers. Thus, you may discover that the answer to your question, “Do I want a relationship?” is personal for every person.
There are people in the world who need someone else to feel like life is worthwhile. On the other hand, some people may go through their life without being in a romantic or serious relationship. However, they may still feel satisfied with their life. Honestly, it is not easy to discover what you truly want out of life. You can easily name passions, interests and pick out a job that would fit you well. But it may be difficult to think about what you want for the rest of your life.
Is it bad to be emotionally dependent?
It is not bad to be emotionally dependent. It means you’re understanding yourself and know what you need to live a happy and satisfying life. Emotionally dependent people are people who rely on others for their happiness. This relationship can work well to a certain extent.
While relationships with people can encourage an individual to their best, if they rely on someone too much, then they may not understand how to lead their lives if the person they rely on is not always with them. Typically, moderation is important for everything that you can invest in. As such, emotional dependence can work well so long as you can lead a life driven by your choices.
Life is about being yourself and making choices that best represents who you are as a person. By being in somebody’s shadow for all your life, you rely on that individual to make choices for you. But the individual in question will not know you as well as you know yourself.
Just because your life is not the same as somebody else does not mean that you should copy their lifestyle. By being proud of who you are as a person, you can make your life into something unique and happy.
Do I need someone to be happy?
You do not need someone to be happy. All you need is to understand who you are as a person. By acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses and loving yourself, it means you realize that you have the potential to create meaningful memories with people you think would fit you well. But you can also create meaningful memories by yourself as well. The freedom to live your life in a way that makes you feel happiest is a core part of being human. After all, you need to be happy before making others happy and potentially developing meaningful relationships.
What really matters in life?
What are 5 things you need in life?
How can I be happy?
Do we need people?
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