Therapy can help you heal and move on
Why closure can be hard
Closure is an important part of an ended relationship. Without it, it can be difficult for you to decide to move on in your life. You can end up feeling stuck in your past relationship. But there are several reasons why closure can be difficult to get.
Some people struggle to find closure because they don’t want their relationship to be over. It may be that your ex ended it quickly, and you didn’t see it coming. And they didn’t give you a reason, or what they did say doesn’t seem to make sense to you. It can be hard to comprehend that it’s over.
And while you probably want your ex to give you closure on why it’s over, it might not happen. Sometimes you have to be able to give yourself closure. An article called Why We Need Closure From Broken Relationships provides a few ideas on how to go about doing this, including:
- Consider that the characteristics your ex has to end your relationship the way they did might show you they aren’t the person you thought they were. And that they aren’t someone that you would want to spend long-term with.
- It’s not a letter that you have to send, but it can help get your thoughts and feelings out on paper.
- Focus on the positive outcomes of your relationship. What things have you learned about yourself? How are you walking away better from this relationship than when you started it? In what ways is it good for you to be out of the relationship?
- Create a new goal or challenge that you can focus your attention on.
Need a little motivation and encouragement?
If you need closure, quotes can help you find the motivation and encouragement that you need. Here are some that might be just what you need to hear to move past your breakup.
Sometimes it’s better for you in the long run
While it might be hard for you to understand while you are still feeling hurt, the end of your relationship could be a good thing for you. It can help you to grow as a person and open you up to new and better opportunities.
“Breakups hurt, but losing someone who doesn’t respect and appreciate you is a gain, not a loss.”- Unknown
“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” – Dalai Lama
“Sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe
“The easiest way to teach someone how to treat you is to refuse to give them more opportunities to hurt you. Walk away . . .” – R.H. Sin
“If you lost it, it’s because you’re meant to find something better. Trust, let go, and make room for what’s coming.” – Mandy Hale
“Sometimes, to get your thoughts and feelings out on paper simply it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.” – Mandy Hale
“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” – Paulo Coelho
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” – Mark Twain
It might take time
Don’t expect to jump back into feeling like yourself and ready to start dating again right away. It can take time to heal from a broken heart.
“Sometimes, your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.” – Unknown
Letting go and moving forward
Sometimes the best thing you can do is learn how to let go and move forward after a breakup. When you try to continue hanging on to it, it can make it harder to heal and recover.
“Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it.” – Unknown
“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.” –Unknown
“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” – Unknown
“Life is too short to start your day with broken pieces of yesterday; it will destroy your wonderful today and ruin your great tomorrow.” – Unknown
“I know my heart will never be the same. But I’m telling myself I’ll be okay” – Sara Evans
“No matter how bad you want a person, if your hearts are in two different places, you’ll have to pass and move on.” – Alexandra Elle
“Don’t allow someone not worth it to have the power to occupy your thoughts. If they don’t find you worth the effort or the time, why should you waste yours?” – Donna Lynn Hope
“In what twisted universe would a girl who’s just been dumped still want to be friends with the boy who dumped her?” – Susane Colasanti
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” – M. Kathleen Casey
“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
Discovering who you are
A breakup can be just what you need to help you learn more about yourself and become the person you were meant to be. When in a relationship, it can be easy to start to conform to how the other person is without realizing that you are slowly losing yourself in the process.
“One of the best times for figuring out who you are and what you really want out of life? Right after a breakup.” – Mandy Hal
“Once you embrace your value, talents, and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.” – Rob Liano
“I’m thankful for my struggle because, without it, I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.” – Alex Elle
“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” – Walter Anderson
“Someday, you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
Finding love again
Your heart may continue to hurt and feel like you have a void until you find love again. It might be the farthest thing from your mind at the moment, but it may be closer than you think. However, as mentioned in the Psych Central article, How to Get Over a Breakup, you need to be careful of the rebound.
“When we are in love, we are convinced nobody else will do. But as time goes, others do, and often do, much much better.” – Jamie Weise
“Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.” – Guy Finley
“Never love anybody that treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde
“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.” – Nicholas Sparks
When you need a little more than motivation
Sometimes all you need is a word of encouragement to move past a breakup. But there are other times when it can be really difficult to get the closure you need to move forward. When this happens, you can end up feeling stuck in life.
It’s normal to go through a grieving process when your relationship ends. And, like when grieving the loss of someone you love, you may need mental health support as you navigate losing a relationship. If you find yourself in this place while trying to move forward, talking to a licensed therapist can help. They can help you to work through the areas that you are suffering in. This could be anything from learning how to identify problems related to learning how to rebuild your self-confidence after the relationship ends. They can also help you learn how to identify what you want to look for in future relationships as you move forward.