“I Want To Cuddle, But My Partner Doesn't – What Should I Do?”

Cuddling up with your significant other after a long day apart is one of the best simple pleasures in life. Many couples enjoy lounging on the couch together and watching a good movie before bed.  Some prefer to cuddle in bed, and this intimate time is something that many people look forward to each day. The only problem is that some people aren't as interested in cuddling as others. You might even find yourself thinking, "I want to cuddle, but my partner doesn't!" It might make you feel disappointed when your partner isn't in the mood to be close, and it could even lead to hurt feelings.

“I want to cuddle but my partner doesn’t”: How to foster intimacy

Is there a way to get your partner to be more interested in a nice cuddle session? Or is this simply something that you're going to have to accept about your significant other? It depends on how averse your partner is to the idea of cuddling. If they like to cuddle sometimes, then you should be able to feel hopeful that you'll get your cuddle fix soon enough. If your partner isn't very cuddly at all or perhaps is not a fan of physical touch like holding hands, cuddles, being hugged by you, hugs in general, snuggling, or having your arms wrapped around them, then you might have to do some work to figure out a solution.

Talk about it

The first thing you can do when your partner doesn't seem to want to cuddle very often is to talk about it. If you love cuddling and your partner doesn't seem to be into it, then it's natural to want to learn why. Take some time to talk about their feelings, and maybe they will let you know what makes them more or less likely to want to cuddle up with you. Some people are self-conscious, and they feel too vulnerable when put in an intimate situation like that. Others feel like they need more personal space and don't like getting too close for long periods.

Having a discussion about cuddling and how you feel about things is a good idea. Just don't approach it from a confrontational standpoint. You want to understand, and you want to listen to what your partner has to say. They might have a perfectly valid reason for not wanting to cuddle. You shouldn't ever force someone to do something that they don't want to do. Regardless, it's fine to let your partner know that you enjoy cuddling and to tell them that you'd like to do it more if they can open up to the possibility.

Set the mood

Perhaps your partner is only interested in cuddling when the mood is just right. You might have better luck initiating a good cuddle session if you can make the atmosphere romantic enough. Put some thought into some things you can do to enjoy some quality cuddle time with your significant other. Light some candles, dim the lights, and make sure the temperature in the room is just cold enough to make you want to cuddle up together.

Taking a bit of time to set the mood might be just the thing that you needed. This may help when it comes to a good romantic cuddle, and it can make a difference in other ways, too. For example, your partner might be more interested in cuddling up if you set the mood by queuing up one of your favorite shows on Netflix. A potential binge session of a great show can make cuddling even better. Whether you're looking for romantic cuddling with the lights off or if you're trying to get close and watch TV, setting the mood is important.

Try to be understanding about your partner's situation

Trying to be understanding about your partner's situation is smart as well. For example, your partner might not be too keen on cuddling if they are very tired after a long workday. Some people work very physically demanding jobs, making them want to chill once they get back home. Cuddling might appeal to some people after a long day at work, but others might prefer to do their own thing. Someone not wanting to cuddle sometimes doesn't necessarily mean that they won't ever want to.

It's also imperative that you consider whether your partner has body image issues. Sometimes people develop body image issues over time, and they don't talk about it much. Your significant other could be nervous about their body, and they might not like getting close to you all the time. Not everyone is open to being touched and having their partner so close. If it makes your partner feel uncomfortable, then you'll have to accept that they need to open up to the idea of cuddling. People can become more comfortable over time, but it might be something that you will have to work on.

Reassure your partner as much as possible if you want them to open up to cuddling more over time. Let them know that you love their body and that cuddling helps you to feel closer to them. Eventually, your partner might feel more open to cuddling here and there. Some people who never cuddled in the past become cuddle addicts after experiencing how nice it can be. Cuddling has the potential to make someone feel good, and it is an expression of affection. Let your partner open up to cuddling naturally and be understanding of their circumstances.

Consider the connection between cuddling and sex

Another thing to consider is that some people see cuddling as a precursor to a sexual encounter. Do you find that your cuddle sessions often lead to some sex with your partner? Perhaps you even wind up making out while you're cuddling with your partner. Either way, these actions might not always be convenient, and your partner could want to wait to be intimate. If your cuddling often turns into something intimate, then they might want to relax instead of having to worry about performing sexually.

You could reassure your partner that cuddling does, in fact, mean cuddling in this instance. Many people are guilty of getting turned on while cuddling, and it isn't unusual to try to take things further. Cuddling can also be a pure and innocent sort of moment between two people. You can curb your libido and enjoy being close to your partner instead of trying to turn things into sexual encounters. Your partner might be more apt to cuddle with you if they don't think you're going to try to turn things sexual.

Recognize that cuddling can be uncomfortable

Cuddling in the summer might seem like a good idea until you try it. Not everyone has amazing air conditioning in their homes. If you live in a house with no AC and things are very humid outside, it might not be a good cuddling climate. Getting close to your partner might be something that you desire very much, but it isn't going to be as practical in the summer months. Your combined body heat is just going to make you feel even hotter, and may make cuddling unpleasant.

Many people exclusively cuddle in the autumn or winter months. If you live in a part of the world with very hot weather, it's understandable to be wary of cuddling when the temperatures are just too high. Some people can cuddle in any weather, and others will want to maintain their personal space. Realize that the current weather can play a big role in whether cuddling sounds like an appealing option. Don't think poorly of your significant other if they aren't interested in cuddling when it's over one hundred degrees outside.

Acknowledge hygiene-related concerns

Body odor concerns can also keep people from wanting to cuddle up. Your significant other might be worried that they smell bad after getting home from work. They might be more interested in cuddling with you after they have had the time to take a shower and clean up. The same could be said for you if you haven't had the chance to freshen up after coming home. Everyone wants to feel comfortable while cuddling, and no one wants to worry about whether they're going to offend their partner due to working up a sweat throughout the day.

For this reason, initiating cuddle sessions at the right time is going to be more sensible. Don't try to cuddle right when you both get home from work. Cuddling up after you have both had a shower or taken a bath makes more sense. Everyone is more comfortable that way, and you'll both be relaxed enough to enjoy your evening together.

Cultivating physical intimacy with online therapy

If you and your partner can't get on the same page, you might have problems building intimacy. You don't have to worry, though. It's possible to work on any issues that you have in your relationship with the help of online relationship therapy.

The benefits of online therapy

This allows you to work with a licensed counselor who understands the struggles that couples are going through. You can talk about what's bothering you, and the therapist can help you find solutions. It's easy to take advantage of this therapy, and you don't even have to leave your house.

Both individuals and those in relationships have found online therapy to be an effective way to work through relationship issues. In many cases, online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy, if not more so.

Takeaway

You may need to do some work to build up to a sweet cuddling session, but if you and your partner work at it together, you may find it even sweeter.