Important Things To Keep In Mind For Your First Relationship
Relationships can be inherently complex and sometimes tricky. There are a series of factors that can impact the dynamics of a relationship over time.
When you're an adult and entering into a new relationship, you may have some questions, concerns, and reservations. This is perfectly OK, and there's nothing wrong with reaching adulthood before being in a romantic relationship. Everyone moves and grows at their own pace. Still, keeping in mind some important details can prove to be beneficial as you navigate through your relationship.
First, relationships are typically different for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that. No two people will have the same experiences; however, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't go into your relationship with a few things to keep in mind. All relationships can vary in regards to intensity and longevity.
Ultimately, time and life experiences can help you determine what type of relationship you want.
Things to keep in mind for your relationship
The first time you enter a relationship can mark a major milestone in your adult life, and it's likely something that you'll remember for quite some time. There are a series of details that can impact the trajectory of your relationship. The following points can be helpful considerations when entering a relationship for the first time.
It should contribute to, not determine, your happiness
It's not uncommon for people to claim that their significant other makes them happy in life. Of course, there's nothing inherently wrong with this; after all, relationships should contribute to your happiness. With that being said, there is a huge difference between a relationship contributing to your happiness and a relationship determining whether or not you are happy.
This can be tough to recognize at first, but try not to place your happiness solely in the hands of your significant other. Having interests, activities, goals, and hobbies outside of your relationship can be paramount, and your significant other should also follow suit. To start, relationships comprised of happy and fulfilled individuals are much more likely to last than partnerships involving emotional co-dependency on one another.
Standards matter
When dealing with a romantic partner, determine what you'll accept and what you won't accept. This can include your significant other's treatment of you, how they speak to and about you, etc. For better or worse, your first relationship can be a pivotal part of your life; it also comes with the power to impact other relationships that you may have later down the line.
Having standards in your relationship doesn't necessarily mean that there will never be rough patches or disagreements with your significant other. But standards can also play an important role in determining whether or not a fight is just a fight, or if the person you’re with isn’t a good match. In any relationship, your significant other should always respect your standards and bring their own to the table.
Honesty is paramount
When you're going into a relationship for the first time, honesty can make all the difference in the world. Not only is it linked to better health on an individual level, but it can also contribute to the foundation that your relationship is built upon.
When you're in your relationship, be honest with your significant other, even when you think telling a little white lie might be easier. Being honest in your relationship can build your character and allow your partner to know the real you.
Communication is key
Learning to communicate with your significant other can be deeply important for your relationship. A lack of communication often breeds confusion, misunderstandings, and bitter feelings, none of which are conducive to a healthy relationship. Communicating with your significant other can mean letting them know how you feel, telling them when something bothers you, and otherwise being forthcoming. Speaking plainly and not fearing vulnerability can greatly contribute to how your relationship turns out.
Communication is also a two-way street. Just as you should be honest with your significant other, they should also return the favor.
Don't ignore red flags
Be cognizant of certain red flags and warning signs. Keeping an eye out for troubling behaviors such as name-calling, a short temper, extreme jealousy, possessiveness, etc., can be deeply important. For the sake of your health, safety, and wellness, heeding these red flags and exiting the relationship if they materialize is imperative.
If you or someone you know is in a domestic violence scenario, seek immediate help by dialing the following number: 800.799.SAFE (7233).
There's no rush
Entering a relationship for the first time can be a major milestone, and timing is everything.
You are not less of a person for entering a relationship at a later time than others. In life, various events have a way of playing out in due season. Besides, rushing into your relationship can cause problems and contribute to you overlooking certain details. Take your time, and don't be afraid to work on yourself before entering a relationship.
The importance of balance
In your beginning relationship (and any others that may follow), you alone cannot determine the trajectory of events. The success of a relationship happens when both parties reciprocate love, care, and compassion and are willing to work for the relationship.
Imbalances in any relationship can be unhealthy. As you keep important things in mind, your significant other should do the same. This can create a healthy two-way street where both partners have equal investments in the relationship and equal commitment levels. In many ways, your relationship can teach you a lot about mutual effort, along with what to look for and avoid.
Online therapy for navigating relationships
If you're having challenges with a relationship or something else entirely, you must know that you are not alone. There are existing resources for support and guidance, which can be of value to you. Although it may not seem this way in the heat of the moment, you can turn challenges into opportunities for you to grow and evolve as an individual.
If you're willing and open to it, signing up for online therapy with Regain can help you on this journey. Working with an online therapist can provide you with the benefits of having someone to confide in and getting unique advice that is specifically applicable to your situation.
Benefits of online therapy
Online therapy does not automatically mean that your problems will go away; however, with time, consistency, and dedication, an online therapist can help you find solutions to your problems. In fact, 95% of couples who engage in online therapy say that the process has been helpful to their relationship. Another benefit is that online therapy tends to be cheaper than traditional, in-person therapy.
We are each different, but online therapy with Regain can give you the ability to turn setbacks into stepping stones, which can lead to a brighter future.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How long does a first relationship last?
The length of your first relationship may vary significantly depending on a number of factors such as your connection with the other person, relationship readiness, age or maturity level, and so on.
In first-time relationships, should partners put themselves or their relationship first?
Being in your first real relationship can be exciting, and the main thing you want to do is ensure that it's healthy. You likely want a positive experience, and you want the other person to have one, too. There are some things you should make sure are present in your first relationship and any other relationship you have. These include but aren't limited to: mutual respect, autonomy, communication, active listening skills, appreciation, quality time, and affection. Additionally, try to be certain that the relationship moves at a healthy pace. Whether it's your first relationship or your fifth, take it slow, and don't rush it.
What is a toxic relationship?
Toxic relationships can take various forms. Here are some toxic relationship red flags to look out for:
- Controlling behavior.
- Manipulative behavior.
- Moving too fast.
- Codependency.
- Jealousy.
- Volatility.
It's essential to know what makes a healthy relationship. If you notice the above warning signs in your relationship, do not ignore them. Especially when controlling behavior, manipulation, and volatility, it's something to take very seriously. If you notice these things in a partnership, no matter the length, it is a good reason to leave. Other things, such as jealousy or the pace of a relationship, you can bring up and likely work through. For example, if you notice that jealousy is showing up in your relationship, you can talk to your partner and work through it, or if the pace of a relationship is moving too fast, you can talk to your partner and set a boundary as far as the pace of the relationship goes. When you do, how they take the conversation can be telling. If they take it well, it may be a good sign. If they are angry or unwilling to listen, it's a red flag.
If any of these warning signs sound familiar, consider reaching out to the following number: 800.799.SAFE (7233).
What makes a strong relationship?
Essential traits of a strong relationship include communication, affection, mutual respect, trust, honesty, emotional intimacy, and quality time. If you are finding complications with your relationship, don't be afraid to reach out to a counselor or therapist who can help.
Questions to ask your therapist about first relationships
How do I know when to put myself or my relationship first?
What are the qualities of a healthy first relationship?
Are early relationships difficult to sustain?
How can I connect with my first romantic partner?
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