Is He Still Interested? Signs A Relationship Is Over For Men

Updated October 21, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

Most people who are divorced or separated have a common complaint: they wish they had ended the relationship sooner. When one or both partners decide to end the relationship, they often realize that there were many clues they should have picked up on all along to know it was time to split. Denial can be a powerful defense mechanism and keep you from seeing what’s right in front of you. Further, even when someone wants to end a relationship, it can often be difficult to walk away. Sometimes, it isn’t easy to pinpoint why men lose interest in their partners. If you’re in this situation and wondering where the relationship is headed, consider the following signs he’s not interested anymore as you decide what to do next.

Getty/Carles Navarro Parcerisas
Wondering how to know when a relationship is over for men?

Signs a relationship is over for men

Signs a relationship is over for men

Some irritation and frustration can be normal when you spend a lot of time with another person. If, however, this turns into constant resentment of the other person, finding any excuse to resort to verbal aggression can begin to seem natural. If your partner is more concerned with picking fights than making attempts to repair the relationship, it could be a sign that they’re starting to lose interest. Often, the things you argue about won't have anything to do with the issues at hand in anything more than a symbolic way. If it's impossible to work through the problems and address what lies between you, it can be much harder to save the relationship. 

Wavering attentiveness

People's beliefs and attitudes can change slowly, but feelings can zig-zag without any apparent reason. We all have moods, but a man who oscillates between fiery hot and arctic cold could indicate he’s not interested anymore. While you'd like to think that his emotional compass always points to you, you may find that he only really notices you at certain times, such as when he desires sex. Can you be happy in a relationship that only exists when he wants it to? If he’s not interested in spending intimate time with you anymore, it could be a sign that he’s over the relationship.

Avoiding conversations about the future

When just starting to date, many couples play the game of talking about what their dream house look will like, what they'll name their children, and which places they'd like to visit. Men tend to be goal-orientated and do things for a reason, so if he's unwilling to make plans for a future together, he might not see that future as a strong possibility. If a guy isn’t interested in spending the future with you, the relationship could be close to its end. 

Lack of physical affection

Intimacy can be an important part of a romantic relationship. When it disappears, it could be a sign that your man has lost interest in you. This can manifest as no longer having sex or finding enjoyment in it, but non-sexual touching and body language can be equally as important. You can learn a lot about a couple's level of intimacy just from observing them. If they feel close to one another, they'll tend to hold eye contact for longer than with other people, sit with their knees angled toward each other, and find reasons to touch. If this doesn't sound like your relationship, it may be that he is subconsciously trying to avoid you and isn’t interested anymore.

Getty/jeffbergen

Your partner is spending most of his time with friends and family

You are often not invited. If you suggest going out together, he prefers to invite friends along. This could be a sign that he finds you less interesting to be with than his friends and family. 

You don't spend time just talking to each other

You used to discuss matters with each other, and sometimes it created arguments. Now, he seems to be finding things that need to be done instead of talking. 

If he needs advice about something important in his life or wants to share exciting news, you are not the first person he turns to. 

Others’ opinions mean more to them than your opinion. You realize that somewhere along the way, you are no longer his confidante or closest friend.

You have to say things twice

Whenever you start a conversation with your partner, is he distracted or not paying attention? Do you have to repeat yourself? Does his attention wander in the middle of your discussion? Or are you guilty of not paying attention? This could be an indication that he is not that interested in what you have to say anymore. The passion between the two of you may have dissipated. One of you, or perhaps both of you, have lost interest in the relationship and are not interested in what the other has to say. 

Ilona Titova/EyeEm
Wondering how to know when a relationship is over for men?

You no longer do things together

Date nights may become a thing of the past or your partner might prefer hanging out with someone other than you. There may be little or no attempt to make time for each other. 

You find yourself not wanting to go home

Perhaps the atmosphere is toxic at home, and avoidance is preferable to confrontation. Home should be a refuge, a place where you can relax, talk over your day with your partner, and find peace and enjoyment. If all you ever do at home is argue or meet silent, it isn't surprising that you don't want to go home. Counseling could help, but if that fails, it is time to end the relationship.

You and your partner don’t seem to have anything in common anymore

People age, change, and grow over the years. Couples inevitably grow at different rates, and their interests can change with them. If it appears that the two of you are growing apart and taking different paths, it could be an indication that the relationship could be coming to an end. 

Your partner doesn’t want to make the relationship work

Perhaps you’ve suggested counseling or other options to help fix the problems you’re experiencing, but he has quickly shot your ideas down. If there’s no attempt being made at repair, it could be a sign that his interest for you has dwindled. 

Avoid jumping to conclusions

Men can be notorious for being unable or choosing not to express their true feelings due to societies expectations of them. Yet, emotions bottled up usually somehow force their way out, often in unexpected and hurtful ways. Even if your man is displaying one or even several of these signs that he’s no longer interested, it's not a given that your relationship is on the rocks. Instead, find out what's bothering him, which may have nothing to do with you. Although it may be difficult and painful, try to re-examine your relationship together, and above all, talk to one another to determine if he’s no longer interested or if something else is going on. 

Online counseling with Regain

Relationships can be rewarding, but they can also go through challenging times. If you and your partner are having difficulty connecting with one another or repairing your relationship, it may be time to speak with a professional. Regain provides online counseling for individuals and couples alike. You and your partner can come together to address the problems in your relationship whether they relate to communication, intimacy, conflict, infidelity, or something else entirely. Regain’s therapists specialize in a variety of areas so that you can begin getting support in the area it’s needed in without having to do a time-consuming search for the right professional. As soon as you and your partner feel ready to take the next step together, don’t hesitate to reach out.  

The efficacy of online counseling 

If your relationship seems to be headed in a negative direction, you and your partner could benefit from online couples counseling. One study found that an internet-delivered couples counseling intervention improved relationship satisfaction and decreased distress. Couples were able to determine the main issues within their relationship and then come together to make “concrete changes” to fix them. 

Counselor reviews

“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time... She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”

Takeaway

Feeling as if your partner is no longer interested in you can be disheartening. While there are some specific signs that could show his disinterest, it can still be important to practice open and honest communication in the relationship. Asking your partner direct questions and being open about how you feel can help you get the answers you need, even if they aren’t what you want to hear. If your relationship has been shaky, that doesn’t mean it has to end. With the help of a couples therapist, you may be able to repair what’s broken. Regain can offer support and encouragement as you and your partner find ways to re-establish a healthy relationship with one another. 

For Additional Help & Support With Your ConcernsThis website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet Started
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.