Is The Fear Of Change Holding Your Relationship Back? How You Can Move Forward

Are you currently happy with your situation in life? You might be in a loving relationship or have a stable job, and you feel like everything is going well. Sometimes, when things are going the way you want them to, you may wish to stay the same. The problem is that the world is ever-changing, and it’s important to be able to healthily adapt and respond to those changes. 

Is it possible that the fear of change is holding your life or relationship back?

Why people resist change

People sometimes resist change due to the fear of what that change could mean. You might be comfortable with where your relationship is at right now. Perhaps you're in a good place, and you like the dynamic that you have going on. There's nothing wrong with being happy with a situation, but it's also not good to allow the fear of change to hold you back. For instance, your partner might be ready to take things to the next level.

If your partner is interested in marrying you and wants to work toward a future where you can be happy together, you should entertain the thought. It’s important to make sure that a fear of change isn’t holding either you or your partner back from achieving your/their dreams. You also need to be honest with yourself about what your expectations are. If you don't want to get married or have no interest in becoming a parent, that could run contrary to your partner's wishes.

When this is the case, you need to have an honest discussion with your partner. You might be afraid to admit certain things out of fear that this will change the dynamic of your relationship. Also, you might be worried that you could lose someone you love if you don't envision the same future. This fear inside you may ultimately hold you back. It’s essential to address things to get to the next point in your life.

When things are changing, it can be scary because it leads to something that you don't yet know.  How will things turn out? Will you be happier than you are now, or will you wish that things could go back in time? You can't know the answer to these questions, and you need to find the strength within yourself to start moving toward the future.

The fear might be a sign

The fear that you're experiencing might be a sign. Some people have noted that they started to feel afraid of change when they knew they were at an important crossroads in life. You might instinctively know when something is about to happen. For example, perhaps you have a sense that your relationship with your partner is ready to evolve in some way.

It's normal to have some trepidation when you're moving to a new chapter in life. Perhaps your partner is graduating from college soon and will need to take a new job. Do you move with them and pursue life together? Or is it best to go your separate ways if your paths don't seem to align properly? To adapt to change, it’s important to ask yourself questions and take action to figure out what you want to do.

The uneasy feeling in your gut is likely telling you that something is on the horizon. You might feel anxious about the prospect of change, and you shouldn't be ashamed of this. It's a natural response to the unknown, but it doesn't have to make you complacent. You can take this as a call to action to have the courage to walk through new doors in life.

Change can open up new doors

Change isn't something that should make you feel afraid. It should be seen as an exciting opportunity. Sometimes you're going to have to make sacrifices to gain something new or move forward. If you want to work toward your ideal future, then many things about your present might have to change. 

Life changes often, and there isn't anything that you can do to keep that from happening. The world around you will continue to change, and your relationships with others will evolve, too. You can grow with the people who are important to you in your life. Trust that you are strong enough to embrace these changes and grow through them, and that nothing is either all good or all bad. Change can be challenging, but you never know what positive opportunities might come from it if you embrace it.

Just because life will be different, that doesn't mean that it's going to be bad. Moving to a new city with your partner might feel like an intimidating idea, but it could wind up being a fantastic experience. Broaden your horizons and open your mind to the idea of change. It isn't all that scary, and it might even wind up being exciting and leading you to things you never imagined.

Personal growth

It might help to think about things in terms of personal growth. Have you ever been promoted at work? You might have become very comfortable with your job, and the idea of having new responsibilities could be seen as scary. Even so, you likely managed to deal with these new challenges. 

Change can be good, and it’s important to be willing to embrace personal growth. When you're growing in life and things are starting to change, it isn't unusual for it to be accompanied by fear. Just know that this fear can be used as a catalyst and that you can push forward. Your relationship with yourself and your partner will likely grow as well; be ready to take your partner by the hand so that you can walk forward together. Changes don't have to break your bond with your partner, and they might even make the bond stronger.

Make plans with your partner

Making plans with your partner can be an important aspect of embracing these life changes. As mentioned earlier, you must ensure that your expectations line up with your partners. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to work toward raising a family with you, then it's a good idea to make sure that's something that you want before moving forward. If it isn't, you might need to part ways or see if your partner is open to alternatives.

Of course, making plans for the future is not something that should happen overnight. Take the time to think about where you want your relationship to go. Do you love each other? Do you see yourself being with this individual in five or ten years?

If you can work toward certain things together, you'll know that the life changes will have a good chance of being positive ones. You can support one another to achieve career and life goals. All the while, you'll also be working toward what you ultimately want for your relationship.

What if you aren’t on the same page?

It's also possible that you won't be on the same page with your partner. If you're having relationship issues and are so afraid of change that you're being held back, healthy communication techniques can be very helpful, as can outside help like therapy. It's important to understand that many couples go through trying times. Even if you are arguing with your partner or frustrated with certain things, this doesn't mean that your relationship has reached an end. You might be able to change things for the better and achieve a brighter future.

If you decide to go through couples counseling together, you will be able to address all of your problems in a healthy, non-biased setting. Relationship counselors understand many of the problems that hold couples back from true happiness. You could have communication issues that prevent you from expressing yourselves properly. Any problems that you're going through can be addressed over time.

Online couples therapy is available

You should also know that online couples therapy is an option. This is a great way to seek out therapy when you don't have a lot of time. If you're a busy professional, you likely need to get therapy at times that are convenient for you. Online counseling allows you to reach out to a counselor at any time. You don't have to worry about adhering to normal office hours, and you'll still be able to enjoy high-quality couples counseling.

This is also an incredibly discreet form of therapy. If you're worried about your family, friends, or colleagues seeing you at a therapist's office, then you will love being able to get therapy at home. You can work on any issues you have as a couple to procure the happy future you deserve.

Additionally, research indicates that online therapy is just as effective as in-person therapy for a variety of conditions and concerns, including aiding relationships. A 2022 study on relationship counseling held via video conferencing found that therapeutic alliance (the degree of trust and comfort between client and therapist) did not differ between online and in-person therapy. Also, the study “indicated improvements in relationship satisfaction, mental health, and all other outcome scores over time” that were comparable to those of couples who received in-person therapy.

Takeaway

Change can feel intimidating and scary, but that doesn’t mean that it’s bad! Change is unavoidable in life, and the best approach is to learn to adapt as well as you can rather than giving into fear and trying to shy away from change. Trying to view change as an opportunity for growth and exciting new things can help aid in the transition, as can reaching out to a therapist if needed or desired.