Should I Get Back With My Ex After A Breakup? Things To Consider

Whenever a relationship comes to an end, experiencing a series of emotions can be completely natural. In light of this history, wondering whether or not you should get back with your ex may also be inevitable. The truth of the matter is that there is no one answer to this question. Additionally, no one can make this decision for you. Whether or not you and your ex decide to give your relationship another try will likely ultimately depend on the two of you; however, there are still some important details that you should be aware of.

 Making your decision with a clear head

Regardless of which decision you make, it may help to go into things with a clear head. This can help ensure that you're confident and able to make a choice which is most beneficial to yourself and your quality of life. 

Ultimately, the relationships that you choose to maintain can impact your life, whether for better or for worse. People on the outside looking in may have their own opinions and perspectives on what they think you should do. However, what you want comes first and foremost. 

Should I get back with my ex? 

It can also be important to remember that to get back with your ex, the decisions should be mutual. If you want to restore the relationship with your former significant other, but they don't, it probably won't work out. Of course, the same principle can apply if your ex wants to get back with you, but you don't want to get back with them.

5 important things to consider before getting back with your ex

Doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results is not often effective. This can be true even when it comes to thinking of getting back with an ex. For this reason, being aware of the following details may prove to be advantageous as you make a decision which might impact you both in the short and long term.

Why the relationship ended

Almost all relationships come to an end for one reason or another. One common problem in a relationship is jealousy. Another possible reason is the conflict between money and relationships. Before you decide to rush back to an ex, you may want to consider if the factors which caused the end of a relationship have changed. This can largely determine whether a potential second shot of a relationship turns out to be a success or a failure. 

Sometimes, relationships initially end for reasons which are changeable later down the line. Sometimes not. Regardless of which category you fall into, taking the time to reflect may help you in the present and the future.

Of course, if the relationship ended as a result of mistreatment or abuse, then getting back with your ex is not a good idea. Abuse in any relationship is extremely dangerous on multiple levels. It is not uncommon for significant abusive others to persuade their partners back into relationships and then continue the cycle of mistreatment. In this type of situation, cherishing yourself, loving yourself, and knowing that you deserve better can be imperative.

If you or a loved one have experienced domestic violence or any kind of abuse at home, contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or text START to 88788 for immediate support.

The growth of both you and your ex

As we go through life, each one of us may be growing and evolving as individuals. This may inevitably impact the dynamics within certain relationships. For these reasons, considering whether you and your ex have grown often makes a difference. It's not uncommon for people to enter a relationship at one point and then eventually grow apart. In other situations, people can grow as individuals, yet remain compatible with one another.

Again, there is no one answer to this circumstance. If you and your ex have both grown since the inception of the relationship, considering whether you both are compatible enough to get back together can be helpful. This isn't necessarily a decision which should be made quickly or lightly.

Really taking time to think about this and consider everything may be good for both you and your ex. If you two do wind up getting back together, then you'll likely be returning to a relationship with clarity, certainty, and understanding. If not, then you'll know that the relationship with your ex has run its course, and something better awaits you later down the line.

The reasons why you want to give a relationship another try after a breakup

Many people fail to realize this, but the motivation behind wanting to get back with an ex is almost always relevant. There are many situations where people rush into a relationship for the wrong reasons, and it only hurts them in the long run. 

If you and your ex truly love one another and feel as though you have a deep bond, this may be a good reason to consider giving your relationship another try. However, if the desire to return to a relationship has to do with money, the fear of being alone, or something else along these lines, getting back in this partnership is likely ill-advised.

Shortcomings in the failed relationship

In the majority of cases, both parties play a role in the events which lead to the end of a relationship. For these reasons, if you are considering getting back with an ex, both you and your former significant other may want to acknowledge the mistakes which were made in the relationship and caused the end of the relationship. Doing this comes with a series of benefits, namely the assurance that similar toxic patterns won't repeat themselves if you both decide to give the relationship another go.

You don't have to make the decision right away

Deciding whether you want to get back with an ex can be a time-consuming process. But going over the various elements that contributed to the end of a relationship and other relevant factors can be important. When people rush, they tend to make mistakes, which cost them later down the line. If you are unsure of whether you want to give your relationship another try, this can be normal and perfectly OK. There is no rush to make a decision. Take all the time you need to determine whether or not getting back together with your ex is the right call.

Options other than getting back with your ex: things to remember

There's no denying the immense impact that relationships can have on people's lives. Many people find happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment in relationships, and there's nothing wrong with this. However, as human beings, we may need to remain open to the reality that not all relationships are meant to last forever. Certain relationships happen for us to grow and learn about ourselves as human beings. 

There can be more to life than dating

Another thing to keep in mind is that there can be more to life than dating and relationships. These are parts of life that can be significant, but there's still a whole other world out there. Throwing yourself into work, taking up a new hobby, or spending time with your family are each part of life that can fulfill you outside of a relationship.

Make yourself open and receptive to what life will offer

As you are enjoying your life, you may meet other people who turn out to be better for you than your ex was - and that's OK. Life comes with many unexpected twists and turns; sometimes, one relationship must come to an end for another one to begin later down the line. Remaining open and receptive to what life has to offer will likely always serve you well.

“Should I get back with my ex?” Seeking professional support  may help you decide

There may inevitably be certain times in life when you feel uncertain or confused. Determining where to go with your relationship might be one of them. Whether you’re in a relationship currently or not, online couples therapy or individual therapy can give you a chance to share your emotions and get insight on how to move forward.

Online therapy comes with a series of benefits for recipients, namely the ability to get help from a therapist regardless of who you are or where you live. A few clicks are all it takes to connect with someone who understands your experiences and wants to make a difference. 

Many people who engage in online therapy find that the distance a virtual platform helps create can be highly beneficial. Being able to comfortably open up and confide in your therapist can be crucial. One study found that online therapy participants felt they could establish a better working alliance with a digital therapist. The study also noted that participants felt they could share more during online sessions, too.

Takeaway

When deciding whether to get back with your ex, it can help to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Why did the relationship end? Why do you want to get back together in the first place? Giving yourself time and space to discuss questions like these and consider their consequences may be vital. No matter which choice you make, working with a therapist can help you feel confident in your decision.