Six Reasons To Take Space From Your Partner

All relationships go through various ups and downs at one point or another. Arguments, debates, and differences of opinion are normal and can be quite healthy under the right circumstances. However, when interactions with someone become overwhelmingly negative or otherwise toxic to your mental health, it's very important to proceed cautiously. Ongoing negative interactions can eventually take a toll on your mental health and wellbeing; this is something to be mindful of, especially when you notice yourself falling into patterns or situations which negatively affect your mental health and well-being. If you are debating the health of your relationship or simply need space to examine where you stand, read on. This article outlines several reasons that indicate a need to take a break from your partner to gauge where your relationship stands. 

When it may be time to take a step back

Top reasons why you may need to take space

When a relationship shows signs of trouble, couples generally strive to repair what's broken in one way or another. This work is a healthy way to strengthen your relationship. Many people who have faced conflict in their relationships have grown stronger from solving problems together. However, for some, the problem-solving doesn’t work and tension or pain only grows. 

There comes a point where taking a step back in a relationship and creating a healthy distance may be helpful or necessary. Sometimes, the best choice is to take space from your significant other, especially if prior attempts to mend the relationship have not worked out. Mutual effort and personal investments with your partner are important. Yet sometimes, when it seems you may be the only one trying to repair the relationship or creating a solution, creating a healthy space between the both of you may be beneficial. The following reasons will help clarify if this space is the next step to take:

You are putting in all of the effort

If you find yourself putting all the effort into a relationship and it is upsetting you, it may be helpful to take some space. When someone is truly committed, they will often do all they can to make it work. However, when you feel you are the only one working to improve your relationship, it may potentially cause resentment. While each person may be willing to work on the relationship at different points when problems arise, generally if you find you are the only one, it will not generate positive outcomes. 

Under these circumstances, it may be helpful to create space between you. This may send a clear message to the other person that you need more from the relationship. In asking for this time alone, your partner may realize that they have been neglecting the relationship and put in more effort. If this does not happen, you can consider a complete break-up, thus allowing you the opportunity to find a healthier relationship with someone else in the future.

The relationship experiences regular on-off patterns

All relationships go through ups and downs; however, if you find you are in a cycle of on-again, and off-again,  this is a very strong sign that you may need to create space between you. Repetitive breaks-up followed by getting back to together does not create a healthy foundation in relationships, nor will it contribute to healthy growth. Often, on-and-off patterns may indicate underlying issues in the relationship that have yet to be addressed. Creating space and getting an opportunity to analyze whether this relationship is best for you may be helpful. During the distance, you may realize you are happier without this person in your life. If you decide to continue seeing this person, consider couples counseling to address the underlying reasons for the cycle. 

You consistently clash over little things

Disagreements are bound to happen in even the healthiest of relationships. However, when you and the other person are continually fighting and unable to reach common ground, creating distance for some time may be beneficial. Differences of opinion are common in any relationship. However,  when you are regularly clashing with one another over insignificant details, this may be a sign of real, existing problems that may prevent the relationship from being a healthy one. Taking some time to be on your own may help both partners realize if they want to put in the effort to overcome their differences and make things work. If both of you are willing to improve your communication and see the other’s perspective, your relationship will mend.

They do not respect you

Mutual respect is a basic tenet of any successful and healthy relationship. Your significant other not respecting you is a potential red flag that requires your attention and space from the relationship. While you are separated, you may also want to think about whether you want to continue a relationship with someone you does not show you appropriate respect. 

Maintaining a healthy relationship may be incredibly difficult when someone does not respect the person with whom they are involved.  Your partner treating you with honor and respecting your wishes is not something you can force. But you can distance yourself from them. Ultimately, you may decide the relationship is not working, leaving yourself open to meeting someone who respects you.  

They are not honest with you

Respect, trust, open communication, and honesty are paramount for any. When dealing with a dishonest person, you may find it difficult to trust the sincerity or fidelity of your partner. Honesty involves more than just telling the truth in a relationship. It can also refer to your partner being open to you when they have done something wrong or telling you how they feel instead of giving you a cold shoulder. 

Their dishonesty can be extremely difficult and hurtful, but it is not a reflection on you. Being honest with someone is a choice and often shows their character. When someone shows their true colors in this way, you are not entitled to continue a relationship with them. Creating space when someone is not honest may show them that you will accept that behavior, which may encourage them to change.

You have been subjected to abuse or mistreatment

If you have been subjected to any form of abuse or mistreatment from them, get space. There are no justifications for abuse or mistreatment. Creating distance from someone who has inflicted abuse or mistreatment upon you is imperative for your well-being and livelihood. 

If you or someone you know is being abused in their relationship, seek help right away. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides support for those experiencing abuse, and they are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They can be reached online or by calling 800-799-SAFE (7233).

It's important to note that creating a healthy distance after abuse is important even if they attempt to contact you to apologize. The reality is that whenever someone becomes abusive and toxic in this manner, continuing any relationship with them at any point is placing yourself at risk. Prioritize your safety and health. Do not hesitate to reach for support from a trusted loved one or professional if you are unable to on your own. 

Is reconciliation possible after creating distance?

Excepting exposure to abuse or mistreatment, you may wonder if you can reconcile a relationship after creating distance between you and your partner. In this case, every relationship is different. Whether a relationship can be saved or revived ultimately depends upon a series of factors.

The level of interest that both partners have in fixing things will make a significant difference if you decide to reconcile. Additional factors include the nature of problems in the relationship if both parties mutually want to improve, and if they see a future together. Some people have managed to bounce back after troubles in a relationship; others have decided to move on from one another. 

Ultimately, you need to determine what is the best decision for your mental health and well-being. Creating distance creates a space for you to put your relationship into perspective and decide what promotes your growth and development. After creating a healthy distance, if you are still interested in reconciling at some point, you'll need to ensure that your partner is also on the same page and willing to put in the effort. Deciding that reconciling is not in your best interest is completely reasonable. Not every relationship is meant to last.

In this world, not all relationships happen for the same reason. Certain relationships are meant to help us grow as individuals and learn about life and are not meant to last a lifetime. Other relationships are healthy and built upon mutual trust, understanding, and love with healthy communication combined with respect. These are the relationships that define life-long commitments.

In the beginning, determining which category your relationship falls into can be challenging. With time and experience, however, the answer often becomes quite clear.

Asking for help

Knowing when to take a step back from a relationship that causes you any emotional or mental health concerns is important. When you are confused or feel unclear if the cause of your anxiety or distress is your relationship, do not hesitate to reach out for support. Whether you're facing concerns in a relationship or personal matters, asking for help is commendable and valuable in all situations. A licensed therapist is professionally trained in listening without judgment and guiding you in ways to improve your mindset to build confidence and self-respect. 

If you are having a difficult time scheduling appointments due to your busy schedule, you have the ability to use online therapy. Virtual therapy has been shown in several studies to be just as effective as in-person therapy, with the added benefits of increased accessibility for those who live remotely or are unable to travel easily and cost-effectiveness. For example, in a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, psychiatrist Haim Weinberg found that many of his clients who shifted from in-person to online therapy felt more comfortable opening up online because of the protective barrier of the screen and the comfort of being in their own space. 

Whether you feel that individual couples counseling would work best, you can sign up for online therapy with a mental health platform like Regain. In many cases, difficulties in life can be exacerbated when someone feels they do not have anyone available who will listen. With online therapy, you can get the support you need right in the comfort of your own home and at a time that is convenient for you.

Takeaway

After looking at the several reasons to take space from your partner, you may have been able to come to a decision that you know will contribute to your own personal growth and development. If you need help to move forward with this choice or simply want someone who can be with you through the process, reach out to a therapist to guide you through the journey.