“What Can I Do To Save My Relationship?”: Meeting With A Therapist And Other Tactics

Updated October 29, 2024by Regain Editorial Team
Content warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that could be triggering to the reader. Please see our Get Help Now page for more immediate resources.

Is your relationship struggling due to your attitude toward others? Some people feel as if they hate relationships with others, and they might have a difficult time getting along with people. People who enjoy solitude or who have become distrustful of others might have a tough time maintaining a fulfilling romantic connection with someone. If that sounds familiar to you, know that you aren’t alone. Learning to overcome these challenges form healthy, lasting bonds with others can be possible. All it takes is some introspection, practice, and potentially a change in your perspective.

Do you really hate people?

Getty/PeopleImages
Do you have a hard time maintaining relationships?

Hate is an incredibly powerful word, and this might not be an accurate descriptor for what you actually feel toward others. You might say something like “I hate everyone” when you mean “I find people to be very frustrating.” Some people don’t connect with others on a social level easily. You might find people to be annoying, and maybe you even have a reason to be distrustful toward others due to past trauma.

What can I do to save my relationship and then improve it?

The simple fact that you want to save your relationship can be a sign that you wish for things to improve. If you hated everyone, then you likely wouldn’t care to be in a relationship in the first place. Knowing this, you should be able to try to turn things around a little bit at a time.

What makes you hate people?

It can also be very important to try to figure out what exactly makes you feel like you hate people in the first place. When people have problems interacting with others, there is usually a reason for it. You might find people to be very frustrating due to not being able to relate to them. If you can try to think about things from the perspective of other people, then you might have an easier time empathizing with what they’re going through.

Past experiences, trauma, and working with a therapist

Some people automatically dislike others due to experiences that they have had in the past. For example, a past traumatic experience where someone took advantage of you could cause you to be distrustful moving forward. This is unfortunate because many people might be able to bring a lot of joy into your life if you allow them to get to know you. It can possible to move past traumatic experiences by working with a therapist, and this can help you to start the process of healing.

Challenges with anger management

Some people who feel like they hate others might be experiencing challenges with anger management. Thankfully, many anger management techniques can be highly effective. Even when things are tough, having resources and coping mechanisms you can turn to can make a huge difference. Sometimes, learning to navigate unpleasant conversations or encounters can be the key to fostering new, positive ones.  

Saving your relationship can be made possible when you work on figuring out why you seem to hate others. People can change, and your personality can evolve. You might feel like most people are unbearable right now, but you could completely change your tune once you meet a few special individuals. Your current romantic partner is likely one of those special people if you’re working on trying to fix the relationship. 

What can I do to save my relationship and avoid negativity

One of the biggest problems that you’re likely facing is focusing on negative things. When you focus on the bad qualities that people have, then most people are likely going to seem annoying. The truth is that human beings are imperfect creatures. They tend to be selfish, and they might even sometimes say hurtful things. Even so, humans also have the capacity for love, and there can be great beauty in learning to build connections with other people.

Appreciating others' positive traits

Instead of focusing on the things that you don’t like about others, you could try to pay more attention to things that you do like. Even small things such as liking how someone is a very hard worker could be a start when you’re trying to open up your heart. You can apply this idea in many areas of your life so that you can start to open up more. It might take time to change the way that you think about the world, but it can be done.

Ilona Titova/EyeEm

Lower your expectations

Hating other people might wind up being caused by having high expectations. If you expect too much out of other people, there may be a high chance that they will let you down. As mentioned earlier, people are far from perfect. Everyone has flaws, and it’s likely no one is going to be able to meet high expectations constantly. 

Managing expectations realistically

Try to be understanding when other people let you down. Small letdowns such as not being able to meet up for lunch probably shouldn’t change the way that you think about someone. Seeing others as the humans they are can help you let go of the negative and strike up meaningful connections, even if they don’t end up leading to relationships or friendships.

Talk with your partner about your concerns

Take the time to talk to your partner about your concerns. If you feel like your relationship is on the rocks due to your attitude toward others, then you probably should let your partner know. They will be able to talk to you openly and honestly. This should make it so that you can figure out what needs to be worked on. 

List reasons why you love your partner

You must love your partner since you’re dedicated to making the relationship work. If you’re worried about your negative side being too overwhelming, then you may want to try to combat it using positive things. You could start by choosing to list the things that you love about your partner. If you ever start to feel like you’re becoming annoyed or if you start to hate your partner, then you can try to remember what you love about them.

Relieve stress

Stress could be playing a significant role when it comes to your negative feelings. Are you overworking yourself or putting yourself into too many stressful situations? You might need to unwind more often. Spending some time doing things that make you feel good can make a big difference.

Getty/PeopleImages
Do you have a hard time maintaining relationships?

Seeking professional support from a therapist

If you feel like negativity is influencing your relationships, whether romantic or not, it may help to realize that it’s not your fault. You can feel unwanted emotions or have unwanted thoughts but still be genuine in your desire to make a change. No matter what, you don’t have to face these challenges alone. 

Advantages of online couples counseling

Resources like Online couples counseling can be a great way to work through obstacles that are holding you back. Whether you experience negativity in your relationship, toward your partner’s friends and family, or people in your own life, speaking with a counselor can help. Individual and couples counseling done online can help save you time and money; there’s no need to manage costly drives to and from appointments. You can access care right from the comfort of home.

Benefits of online therapy

Most people who pursue online therapy find it to be highly beneficial, sometimes even more than in-person therapy. One study found that an impressive 95% of couples who engaged in online couples counseling found the experience helpful. See the difference professional support can make yourself today by getting started on the path toward healing and acceptance.

Takeaway

If you feel like you hate everyone and aren’t sure how to navigate relationships as a result, you’re not the only one. There are plenty of reasons you might face challenges in this area; past trauma, poor relationships, and a lack of self-esteem are just a few. But no matter why you feel the way you do, know that things can change. Being open with your partner, focusing on the positive, and speaking with a therapist can help you move in the right direction.

For Additional Help & Support With Your ConcernsThis website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet Started
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.