What Is The Difference Between Confidence Vs. Self Esteem?

Confidence and self-esteem seem like they allude to the same thing, but the truth is you can have one without the other. Building up both confidence and self-esteem takes time and effort. First, you must be aware of which you have less of, and then you have to decide how you want to combat it. Self-esteem and confidence play different but important roles in our view of self. We must learn how to find confidence and self-esteem and work on both if we want to truly like ourselves and be sure-footed in what we do.

That's not to say that it isn't hard. Many things will contribute to a lack of self-esteem or confidence. Maybe we can't find something that we're good at. Maybe we were told as children that we weren't worth much. Maybe we just went through a devastating breakup that left us wondering who the heck we were. It's important to remember that the journey to build confidence and self-esteem is not a linear one. We will have many ups and downs. Sometimes we'll move forward, and then other times we will regress. What we should remember is that we don't have to stay where we are. We can always overcome and feel better. Let's get to know more about self-esteem and what it means. Why is confidence important to have in life?

So, what is confidence?

Confidence is your ability to trust yourself. It's typically measured by your achievements and how well you engage with the world around you. When you are confident, you like new challenges, and you are always ready to rise to the occasion. You take responsibility for your mistakes, but you don't let them define you. Confident people are great workers. They often are the first to sign up for projects and want to take on everything themselves.

Confident people are also courageous people. They have a healthy sense of self and can handle the fear of the unknown and turn it into confidence down the road. These people know that without taking risks, there's no way to know what they might be good at - the greater the risk, the greater the reward. So, confidence is based a lot in performance. When you do something well, you get a confidence boost. When you do something poorly, confidence in yourself goes down. Confidence can also hide a lack of self-esteem. By placing importance on their output instead of knowing where they are most valuable, people with great confidence but low self-esteem can often get burnt out by work, school, and volunteering. This is why confidence without self-esteem can be a bumpy road to walk.

 What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is a more emotional view of ourselves. Having a good sense of self-esteem shows that you see yourself as worthy - of praise, trust, friendship, etc. Self-esteem will majorly determine how we interact with the world because it helps us determine whether an act is worth doing. If we have low self-esteem, we are less likely to put ourselves out there on dates, in job interviews, and in other risky activities. People with low self-esteem tend to look for outside reinforcement to boost their sense of worth. It's easier for people to hear praise from others than it is to hear it from themselves.

On the other hand, people with high self-esteem metabolize their worth. They don't need outside affirmation because they know who they are. They even like who they are. High self-esteem leads to resilience and a strong backbone. It fosters an ability to grow from mistakes and look at failures for what they are, and not an inditement of their very person. You can have a good sense of self-esteem without having confidence. You know your worth as a person, but you have a hard time feeling like you can confidently do certain jobs at work or home. You would rather be part of a team than take things on solo.

 How do I improve both?

The good news is that you can improve your self-esteem and your confidence at the same time. They can often go hand in hand, even though they aren't the same thing. Having confidence in yourself and knowing your inner worth will help you to deliver better outcomes and be a better team player at home, at work, and with friend groups.

First, figure out what you have more of. Are you more confident in your abilities or do you see yourself as worthy? When you start the process of improving confidence and self-esteem, it's important to remind yourself of your strengths. Those are the things you can hold on to when other areas seem to be falling apart.

If you lack confidence, try to think about things that you know you are good at. Even if you have an inkling that you are good at it, put it in your memory bank. Make a list of what you are good at. Do more of the things that you like doing. If you lack self-esteem, recognize that your negative self-talk isn't about the real you. Who you truly are is ten times better than the doubts you have about yourself. Write down a list of your strengths. Pull them out when you need a reminder of why you are so great.

For both confidence and self-esteem, think about how you would react if a friend were telling you they felt everything that you are feeling. Would you agree? Or would you wholeheartedly tell them that they are worth so much more than they think they are? Would you encourage them to keep going despite their inner negativity? Listen to yourself in these cases. Treat yourself like you would treat a friend.

Then when you're ready, try out some habits of people who are self-confident and have good self-esteem. An article on NBC News Health states that people with confidence trust themselves. They aren't afraid to be wrong, and they don't judge others. They meet deadlines and are flexible with their time. She says that people with high self-esteem take care of themselves. They are clean and have good habits. They don't allow negative self-talk and aren't afraid to say "no" when they need to.

Ask for help

"Why am I so hard on myself?" Once you realize how you've been brutal with yourself all this time, the will to seek therapy will kick in. If you recognize your need for more confidence or self-esteem, but you can't imagine how doing any of this will help you get better, know that you can ask for help. Negative self-talk is debilitating and can make it hard to do the work you need to do to move past it. That's why therapy is such an important service. Therapists and counselors alike will give you unbiased assessments of how you see yourself and what may be hurting you instead of helping you. But even knowing this, taking the time and spending the money to talk to a stranger is still very nerve-wracking. Did you know that there is a cheaper and not time-consuming solution?

Think of it as a messaging service for counseling. This isn't real-time therapy so you can send messages at any time of day or night, and your therapist will only respond at times you both specify beforehand. If you would like to talk in real-time over the phone or via video chat, you can set up special calls with your therapist to do so.

Regain has a special capability that allows you to use the platform yourself or to add a partner to your chatroom as well. This is great for couples with self-esteem or confidence issues. It's also great for couples where one person lacks self-esteem, and the other wants to help them. 

Regain uses a monthly subscription model, so it is more affordable than most in-person therapy sessions available. You can try it for one month, and if you don't see a need for it you can stop with no strings attached. You are getting the same value of therapy without having to pay a whole lot of money for each session. For more information about the Regain platform and to sign up, visit www.regain.us/start today.

Takeaway

If you have low confidence or low self-esteem, know that you don't have to feel this way forever. There are many things you can do to help yourself, and you can also ask for help. Reach out to your friends, your family, and express how you are feeling. You are not alone in this.

Self-esteem and confidence will take time to build, but with the help of a therapist or even friends and family, you can learn to appreciate yourself for who you are truly. No one knows the true you better than you do, so it's time to start seeing yourself more clearly.