Understanding Gender Identity: The Difference Between Pansexual And Bisexual

There was a time when few people had heard of sexual orientations other than straight, gay, or bisexual. Recently, though, more and more people are becoming aware of other possibilities. Today, people recognize that there are more than two genders, so it stands to reason that these three labels won't fit everyone's sexual orientation. Here's a primer on the difference between bisexual and pansexual.

What's the difference between pansexual and bisexual?

You can find a hint about the difference between bisexual and pansexual in the origin of the words. The "bi-" in bisexual comes from Latin and means "two." But, the "pan-" in pansexual comes from a word meaning "all."

How do these word parts explain the difference between the two terms? Simply put, someone who is bisexual is attracted to and/or engages in sexual behavior with both men and women. So, where does that leave someone who is pansexual? Pansexual means that they aren't limited to people who identify as male or female. Instead, their sexual orientation is to any or all gender identities.

Being bisexual and pansexual: gender identity

Your gender identity is about your internal experience of being a man, woman, or nonbinary gender. In the past, most people thought of only two gender identities: man or woman. Now, people are also beginning to understand that gender is more of a spectrum. Gender identities are now typically seen as either cisgender, transgender, or nonbinary.

Cisgender

Cisgender refers to people whose gender identity matches their biological sex. So, a male who identifies as a man or a female who identifies as a woman is cisgender.

However, it's important to remember that, even biologically, sex is far less clear-cut than was once thought. At one time, scientists thought two sexes lined up in the genetic code as XX for females and XY for males. They did recognize that there could be rare variations, such as XXY. However, as explained in this National Geographic article, researchers are finding out that there can be someone with XX genetic code with anatomy, physiology, and psychology more like what was traditionally associated with maleness.

Although cisgender people identify according to their biological sex, someone who is bisexual may be attracted to either sex who is cisgender. However, the definition of bisexuality is beginning to broaden, at least in some people's view.

Transgender

Transgender refers to people who identify as a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth. It's usually used for a male who identifies as a woman or a female who identifies as a man. Some people who are transgender have surgery to become the gender they physically identify with, but someone can be transgender without getting the surgery. Note that transgender is also often grouped with the nonbinary genders.

Nonbinary gender identities

Many people today recognize that not all gender identities are in the "one-or-the-other" category. Another word for this category is "genderqueer," which is usually used by people who feel their gender differs from the cultural expectation for their biological sex. If you identify as nonbinary in gender, you see yourself as not exclusively man or woman or as having no gender at all. People who are pansexual can be attracted to any or all of these identities and more.

Genderfluid

If you're gender-fluid, you may think of yourself as male and female to others. Or, you might think of yourself in terms of one of the nonbinary genders at different times. It's fluid in the sense that it changes from one to another, often frequently.

Bigender

A bi-gender person has precisely two gender identities. They may identify as man, woman, or nonbinary, thinking of themselves as two of these alternately or simultaneously.

Demigender

Demigender means that your sexual identity relates to your biological sex, but the connection is not strong.

Pangender

Remember the meaning of the word part "pan" in pansexual? That word part also means "all" in pangender. Someone who is pangender sees themselves as a person of all genders.

Agender

Someone who is agender doesn't identify as any gender. Gender is not a consideration for them when they think of themselves.

What is the difference between bisexual and pansexual in attraction?

Bisexual and pansexual are both sexual orientations. That means these words express what gender or genders you're attracted to, whether physically, romantically, or emotionally. In the traditional sense of bisexuals, they would only be attracted to people with binary genders. The world's current use sometimes makes it more similar to pansexual than in the past. Someone who is pansexual would be attracted to all genders in any or all of these ways.

Physical

Physical attraction and sexual engagement are at the heart of sexual orientation. That means you might flirt, become aroused, and pursue and engage in sexual relationships with a particular gender or gender. As a bisexual person, you might be physically attracted to and sexually active with cisgender men and women. As some people define bisexual, you might also be physically attracted to and have sex with transgender people as well. But if you're pansexual, you might be attracted to cisgender, transgender, and nonbinary gender people.

Romantic

People tended to think of romantic relationships between a man and a woman in the past, which later expanded to romantic relationships between two men or two women. With the introduction of the term "pansexual," it's now being recognized that romantic attraction can happen between people of any gender, not only two cisgender people or transgender people but also between either of those or other nonbinary genders. However, bisexual and pansexual aren't quite the right words for labeling these differences. Most people agree that the correct ways to express these romantic attractions are panromantic and biromantic.

Emotional

Making a strong emotional connection with another person is one of the most wonderful experiences in life. Emotional attraction can significantly enhance the relationship between people who are sexually attracted to each other. Yet, anyone can form emotional attachments to anyone else. While emotional attraction may be a component of a sexual relationship, it is not usually labeled about gender.

How your gender identity or sexual orientation can affect your relationship

Being bisexual or pansexual can affect your relationship with your significant other. First of all, you may experience attractions that you don't understand. You may try to have a relationship with someone you aren't attracted to because you think that's what you're "supposed to do."

Other issues can affect your relationship after you become a couple. For example, if you aren't sure of your sexual orientation, you won't let your partner know what to expect. Or, if you aren't ready to come out with your sexual orientation, your partner may be confused about your preferences and behaviors. It may turn out that knowing what gender you're attracted to won't matter to your partner at all. On the other hand, they may feel like you aren't open with them if you don't trust them with this information.

Sorting out all these issues is rarely easy. There's so much uncertainty globally, and there's no guidebook to tell you how to answer your questions about your own sexual orientation. Giving yourself a label is a decision you make as an individual. Knowing what the difference is between bisexual and pansexual and between other sexual orientations is a good first step. Basing what label you choose on your feelings about yourself makes sense in many ways.

Also, talking about it with your partner can build more intimacy. Expressing your thoughts about your sexual orientation or listening to your partner's can help you form a stronger bond and a more authentic relationship. Yet, these discussions might not be easy for the two of you to have. Talking to a therapist before, during, and after the conversation may result in a better outcome for both of you.

Talk to a therapist to know your sexual orientation and the difference between pansexual and bisexual

Are you bicurious, bisexual, or an individual from the LGBTQIA+ community who wants to understand more about your orientation and its effects on your relationship? What you do about relationships can be one of the most challenging questions in your life, and it's an important one. That's why it's often a good idea to talk to a couple's counselor about your sexual orientation and your partner's if you have any issues.

A couple's therapist can help you understand and accept yourself better. They can also help you deal with the relationship issues that come up that are related to your or your partner's being pansexual or bisexual. 

Talking to a therapist online is a convenient, accessible way to get the support you need. With online therapy, you don’t have to worry about commuting to an office or being on a waiting list. You and your partner attend sessions from the comfort of your home or anywhere you have an internet connection. Plus, you can communicate with your therapist via phone, text, email, online chat, and/or video chat. Research shows that online therapy is effective, too, with studies even showing that it is just as effective as in-person treatment. Connect with a mental health professional at Regain to get started.

Takeaway

In the end, understanding your own and your partner's sexual orientation better may improve your relationship and your life as an individual. For unconditional support, reach out to a Regain therapist.