What Makes A Good Relationship?
So, you've been seeing someone for a while, and now, instead of just dating, you're in a relationship. If you really like your partner and want the relationship to last, you may wonder what exactly goes into building a good relationship.
In this article, you will learn about many of the components of a healthy, happy romantic relationship. If you are struggling in certain aspects, you will also find out how you can get help so you and your partner can improve and have the best relationship possible. Keep reading to learn about some of the good qualities every relationship should have.
What makes a good relationship? Signs of a strong bond
There are several factors that can contribute to healthy relationships and satisfaction. If you’re looking to strengthen your partnership, the following tips may help.
Respect
First and foremost, having mutual respect in a relationship lays the foundation for everything that comes after. Without it, you are probably not even friends. One-sided respect is unhealthy; it can put a lot of strain on the relationship if one person isn't pulling their weight. When respect becomes one-sided, the relationship may become more difficult to sustain. Nonetheless, respect can be improved and built on, allowing you to open the doors to fixing any other problems you may be experiencing. Adding respect into your day-to-day interactions is a no-brainer—it reinforces the importance of appreciating your partner and valuing their contributions to your shared life.
Openness and honesty
If both partners are transparent, everyone's needs and concerns can be addressed. If couples aren't open about various aspects of the relationship, whether it involves finances, intimacy, or even plans for the future, the relationship can break down. It's possible, also, that resentment can build up. Taking the time to communicate openly and share your feelings can create a stronger sense of connection. It helps your romantic partner understand where you’re coming from and allows space for meaningful conversations.
Trust
Having trust in each other is something that most good and healthy relationships have in common. If there is any distrust in the relationship, this can be a recipe for disaster. For instance, there may be false accusations of infidelity, or there may be the fear and feeling that one partner is unreliable. Trust means that you rely on each other to be dependable and honest. Building trust often involves positive reinforcement and making sure that your words align with your actions. While trust can be broken, it can also be fixed or built upon, turning a weak relationship into one that is much stronger. Respect and openness are a couple of ways that trust can be improved, but this can also involve taking risks together and giving each other the benefit of the doubt. Loyalty to each other is also a big component of trust—you should have each other's back.
Vulnerability
Showing a vulnerable side does relate to being open with one another, but it also typically involves each other's weak points. No one (and no relationship) is perfect, and it's okay to show your flaws to your significant other. It can benefit your relationship to avoid the tendency to try to be a superhero or heroine and admit your weak spots, regardless of how uncomfortable it may be. By letting your weaknesses be known to each other, you both can work on turning them into strengths—in turn, strengthening your partnership. By sharing your feelings of insecurity or self-doubt, you foster an environment where your partner can feel safe doing the same. Being vulnerable helps both partners focus on what truly matters—mutual growth and support.
Compromises and sacrifice
Relationships do take work, and there will be times when you will have to do things that you might not necessarily be thrilled about doing. For example, your spouse's car might have broken down, and you will have to wake up extra early to take them to work. It's just a fact that, sometimes, things will come up that are inconvenient and unfavorable, and you might even express frustration over them, but the most important thing is that you have unconditional support for each other. Taking on extra tasks when your partner is busy can show how much you care. It’s all about finding solutions to challenges and stepping outside your comfort zone when needed.
Forgiveness
It's normal and healthy for couples to disagree and have arguments from time to time. In fact, according to John Gottman, co-founder of the Gottman Method couples' therapy with his wife, Julie, around 69% of all marital problems are perpetual ones that don't ever truly go away; instead, they are managed, not resolved. Those in healthy relationships understand that forgiveness is necessary for moving past hurt and focusing on what’s next. Holding onto grudges creates distance instead of fostering a positive outcome.
Teamwork
Relationships that have one person doing all the work will typically end at some point, and often, they won't last long at all. There is a reason why the person you are with is referred to as your "partner," and that's because healthy relationships are a team effort.
Relationships thrive when both people rely on each other as teammates. If one person does all the work, it’s easy for the other to feel dismissed or unimportant. It’s crucial to maintain open communication and communicate when something feels off.
Without effort from both of you, things may start falling apart. Instead, healthy relationships are ones where people understand that maintaining a relationship is a collaboration and not a one-person show.
Affection and intimacy
Having intimacy separates a romantic relationship from an ordinary friendship. If there is a lack of affection and intimacy in a relationship, it may eventually go downhill. Showing affection and intimacy to your romantic partner is not always about sex; rather, it also includes hugging, kissing, and even small gestures like leaving notes or flowers. Showing affection doesn’t need to be grand; even small gestures like sharing a compliment or creating space to check in emotionally can go a long way. These moments build closeness and allow couples to strengthen their connection.
Intimacy can even go beyond physically touching, and emotional understanding is crucial to the well-being of those in a relationship. In fact, building and maintaining emotional intimacy is the key to fixing physical intimacy issues that couples commonly face. Good relationships consist of couples that have a strong connection to one another, both physical and emotional.
Showing support
While there will be situations where you and your partner may disagree on something, unconditional support (when reasonable) is something that every good relationship should have. For example, if your significant other wants to try a new hobby, go back to college, or consider a new career path, it's important to be supportive of their decision. The only exception to this might be if your partner's decisions seem irresponsible or too risky. Showing support also includes being excited about and celebrating your partner's accomplishments and staying by their side through thick and thin. (They should be doing the same for you!)
Being supportive means celebrating your partner's accomplishments and standing by their side when they face challenges. Supportive partners understand the importance of being present during both victories and setbacks.
Spending quality time together
It can be easy to fall into a routine if you have been with your partner for a while, but this doesn't mean you shouldn't go out and do fun and sociable things. This is especially true for married couples, where spouses might just be going through the motions and stop going on dates. Life's responsibilities can be exhausting, but good couples will always find time for each other and do things they both enjoy doing. You can be as creative as you want to be, or you can schedule weekly events such as dining and movie nights; if you're both having fun and interacting with each other, you're doing just fine.
Quality time with your family or with each other can recharge your relationship. Scheduling regular date nights can be a no-brainer to maintain the excitement in long-term relationships.
Commitment
Having a good relationship means that you both are 100% committed to each other and trying to make it work. Commitment can be second nature for many people, while it's not always the case for others. However, this does not mean that mistakes cannot be made. Even with infidelity, which can undoubtedly create trust issues, some couples can work past this common problem and build better and stronger relationships by getting to the root of why they cheated. Despite possible mistakes in the past, committing will be required to pave the way for a relationship that lasts long into the future. Commitment allows you to focus on your shared future, feelings, and expectations.
Communication
Finally, having effective communication skills is one of the defining characteristics of a healthy relationship. Communication covers a lot of ground, such as expressing needs and concerns, managing conflict, and showing affection. Having a productive dialogue is necessary for any couple looking to improve their relationship. Along with respect, it allows you to home in on areas where some work might be needed, such as bonding regularly and intimacy. Expressing your feelings and honest thoughts makes it easier to avoid misunderstandings and keep your relationship grounded in trust. Couples who talk often will tackle things as they develop—before those things can become a serious issue.
Build the foundation for a healthy relationship
As you can see, there are many components to a good relationship, and they go much deeper than simply enjoying each other's company.
Many of these components happen organically without much thought or effort; however, no relationship is perfect. Some couples will need to work on one or more of these aspects to improve their relationship.
It’s important to focus on the areas that matter the most to both partners and maintain open communication about your feelings throughout the process.
Learning what makes a good relationship in therapy
If you find that you or your significant other might be lacking in one or more of these areas, there's nothing to be ashamed of, and your relationship is by no means weak; rather, think of it as ironing out some kinks. After all, couples counselors and marriage therapists exist for a reason—there are many people out there looking to make their relationships better, and they are there to help. Seeking therapy to address challenges allows both you and your partner to share your feelings honestly and strengthen your connection.
Many people who are in a relationship they want to foster and grow turn to online therapy for help. It can be hard to schedule in-person therapy when two people's schedules need to be considered. Online therapy makes this a little easier—plus, you can meet anywhere there's an internet connection. This flexibility ensures that both partners can focus on their relationship goals without added stress.
How online therapy can help you foster a healthy relationship
Regain is an online therapy platform designed to help those in relationships. Licensed therapists can help you and your partner work on communication skills, building trust, and increasing respect in your relationship, all of which are essential to addressing the specific issues that you and your partner might be facing at this time. By taking the time to share your feelings, listen to your partner, and acknowledge each other's perspectives, you’ll create a stronger emotional bond.
With these skills in place, you can then deal with things as they come up more productively and efficiently. And you can get support via text, telephone, or video chat, so help is never far away. Words of affirmation and understanding during these sessions can make a person feel valued and supported.
Takeaway
If it seems like your relationship fits most if not all of these great relationship traits, give you and your partner a pat on the back (it is a team effort, after all). Hopefully, you will maintain a good relationship by understanding what it takes to have one, but if problems rear themselves up somewhere down the line, don't fret—help is always available. Sharing your feelings and addressing issues as they arise are key steps to maintaining a positive and healthy connection.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What are the five most important characteristics of a strong relationship?
Five of the most important things in a romantic relationship are mutual respect, compatibility, affection, love, and communication. If one of these elements is missing in your romantic relationship, it may be a good idea to seek the support of a couples counselor or therapist who can help. Couples counseling can help couples build and maintain supportive, loving romantic relationships and work through any concerns that arise along the way. A strong bond allows both partners to share their feelings openly without fear of judgment.
Even couples with great and healthy relationships may seek counseling or therapy from time to time for concerns related to parenting, stress, learning to better support one another, premarital preparation, and other matters. Whether you have a great relationship or one that’s on the rocks, there’s no wrong reason to look for therapy, so don’t be afraid to reach out for support.
What are the qualities of a good relationship?
Some essential qualities good relationships have include affection, communication, trust, appreciation, compatibility, and respect. Emotional intimacy is another important element of great relationships. In a great relationship, you will spend time with one another, respect each other’s autonomy, and have an open communication time. Maintaining regular date nights and putting effort into communication by using supportive listening skills can help you and your partner maintain a good relationship. Taking time to check in about each other's feelings during these dates can strengthen your bond and prevent misunderstandings.
What makes a relationship healthy?
A healthy romantic relationship is one with affection, trust, mutual respect, and support on both ends. The Gottman method, founded by Julie and John Gottman, is a form of couples counseling with principles that can provide insight into what healthy relationships look like and include. Whether you see a Gottman-trained therapist or not, using some of their ideas can provide couples and individuals with insight that’s helpful for romantic relationships overall. The sound relationship house theory used in the Gottman method outlines nine things that should be present in a great relationship.
What are three warning signs of an unhealthy relationship?
Three warning signs of an unhealthy relationship are controlling behavior, manipulation, dishonesty, or lying. That said, this is by no means an extensive list. Unhealthy relationships can take many forms. Other potential signs of unhealthy relationships include but aren’t limited to, codependency, jealousy, and a marked lack of communication or understanding. If you often feel that your feelings are dismissed or invalidated, this could indicate a lack of respect or communication.
What are the fundamentals of a strong relationship?
The fundamental elements of great relationships include commitment, trust, honesty, commitment, affection, respect, and appreciation. Compatibility is another aspect of great relationships. Of course, you’re not going to be the same as your partner or spouse (and wouldn’t want to be—in a great relationship, you’ll appreciate your partner for who they are, and they’ll do the same for you). Still, your lifestyles, deal-breakers, and major desires shouldn’t clash drastically. Even those in great relationships will have different wants and needs, but your desires must be compatible when it comes to the big stuff, like deciding to have kids or not. You must support one another and appreciate each other as individuals, and again, if you need help at any point in time, do not hesitate to reach out. Even those in the best relationships need support from time to time.
How can I build a good relationship?
To build a good relationship, mutual respect and healthy boundaries are key. Honest communication helps you stay on the same page and allows both partners to feel comfortable sharing their feelings and concerns. Remember, relationships thrive when both partners’ interests and life goals are respected. Regularly making time to talk shows that you value your romantic partner and want to strengthen your bond.
A great tool to deepen your connection is scheduling quality time where you give your full attention to your partner. Balancing day-to-day responsibilities with intentional moments of focus strengthens your relationship and helps you both feel seen and heard.
What is the 5-5-5 rule in relationships?
The "5-5-5 rule" in relationships is a method designed to help couples navigate conflict and improve honest communication. According to this rule, when a disagreement arises, each partner takes 5 minutes to speak while the other listens, and then they spend the final 5 minutes discussing the issue together.
This approach helps ensure that both partners feel heard and understood, fostering a connection and creating healthy boundaries for more constructive conversations. By giving your full attention during these discussions, you build trust and find ways to address issues with empathy and respect. Following this method consistently can improve your sense of teamwork and reinforce your shared commitment to maintaining healthy relationships.
What holds a relationship together?
Honest communication, mutual trust, and conflict management keep a relationship strong. Learning how to resolve conflict without blaming or hurting each other is crucial. It’s also important to recognize your partner's needs and ensure your words convey care and respect. Relationships require hard work and a commitment to meet each other’s needs—both big and small.
Spending time with family and friends can provide extra support and remind you of what’s equally important outside of your partnership. Strong relationships have balance, where both partners rely on each other yet have their own lives and interests, too.
What are the 5 C's of a relationship?
The 5 C's are chemistry, common goals, commitment, connection, and compassion. Chemistry brings excitement and helps you feel emotionally and physically drawn to your romantic partner. Common goals keep both partners aligned and focused on what truly matters in their shared life together.
Commitment ensures that you both stay loyal and work through challenges as a team. Building a strong connection helps both partners feel comfortable, safe, supported, and seen. Finally, compassion fosters empathy, allowing you to communicate with care, recognize each other's emotions, and find ways to nurture the relationship.
What boundaries are important in a relationship?
Setting healthy boundaries ensures that both partners feel respected and secure. Boundaries help you manage space within the relationship and establish how much emotional and physical closeness feels comfortable for you both. If something feels wrong, don’t ignore it—talk about it and find ways to address it. Be clear about your expectations, and don’t stop taking steps toward finding solutions that benefit both people.
Respecting each other's goals and creating a shared sense of direction builds trust and prevents unnecessary conflict. Relationships are built on positive habits, so celebrate small wins and stay present during important moments.
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