Where Do Feelings Of Worthlessness Come From, And How Can I Overcome Them?
If you are struggling with feelings of worthlessness, you are not alone. Many people may experience these feelings at some point in their lives. The good news is there are several things you can do to overcome these feelings and reclaim a sense of worthiness.
Where do feelings of worthlessness come from?
The first step toward learning how to overcome these feelings may be understanding where they come from.
Sometimes, these feelings can be a result of adverse experiences from childhood. As we grow up, we can be influenced by external factors such as our environment and relationships. When trauma or mistreatment occurs, it can result in mental health difficulties.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
Although you don't have control over past events, you may have agency over your future. Even if something happened to you during your formative years, any adverse effects could be healed and released.
On the other hand, many people who had wonderful childhoods can still experience feelings of worthlessness. Challenging experiences as an adult, such as negative relationships or financial difficulties, can also result in these feelings.
A shift in behavior can have a significant impact on rewiring a feeling of worthlessness into a feeling of worthiness. While this may be easier said than done, it can be an essential step toward growth. Improving self-esteem can even have an impact on our future relationships. We have the opportunity to evolve into better people than we were yesterday, and small steps today can make all of the difference.
Give yourself credit
If you are affected by feelings of low self-worth, make sure you are giving yourself enough credit! Remind yourself that you are worthy just by being you. Celebrating small victories can help you reclaim the sense of worthiness that you are capable of accessing once again. Remember that feelings of unworthiness may have been built over many years, so releasing them may take some time as well. Baby steps forward and small changes can be a huge win! Small actions and small celebrations can encourage meaningful growth.
While growing can take time and require dedication, celebrating these short-term goals can keep your morale high. Then, if you hit a bump in the road, you can navigate it with more ease every time. Through practice and mindful commitment to yourself, long-lasting change is well within reach.
Lend a hand in your community
The best way to tap back into a feeling of worthiness can be through service to others. If you feel unworthy or like you don't have a place in this world, community service might be an answer.
When you give yourself a job to do that helps others, you can discover purpose. You can feel proud of the things you are doing. Additionally, when you see the positive impact on others of the things you do, you may begin to have feelings of pride and purpose.
A community-based sense of purpose can promote feelings of worthiness. Your work can have an impact on others as well as on yourself. You can make a difference in your community and the world. Through actions that serve a greater purpose, you can be reminded of your own worthiness.
Try daily affirmations
The internal dialogue running through your mind can offer a lot of insight into your current set of beliefs about yourself and the world. It can be quite natural to have some negative thoughts. Automatic negative thinking or internalized negative beliefs can be addressed with intention. Pause throughout the day to bring awareness to your thoughts. If you are putting yourself down and being overly critical, this could be contributing to feelings of low self-worth.
Practicing daily affirmations can help rewire new belief systems. Affirmations are positive words and thoughts that we can give ourselves. These can be worked into your day in a multitude of ways:
- Try practicing your affirmations at the beginning of each day. As you are preparing for the day, look in the mirror. Choose three things about yourself or your actions that you can view as worthy. You might recognize the heart of gold that your best friend points out in you. You might also recognize things you do that positively impact others. Show appreciation and validate the presence of these qualities or actions in your life.
- If you find you are thinking negatively about yourself throughout the day, take a moment to recognize those thoughts. Even though you are experiencing these thoughts, these thoughts are not you. If they are not you, then you get to decide which thoughts you want to think about yourself.
For example, if you think that you don't contribute much to the world, stop for a moment. Recognize this thought, and name three things you do that contribute to the world around you. These don't have to be elaborate or meaningful to anyone but you. The important thing is that you bring awareness to these negative thoughts and counter them with new beliefs.
With some time, these methods can come naturally to you. If you continue to use them, you may find yourself using self-affirmations with little effort. This can improve your overall self-esteem and even make you happier.
Find peace with your past
If past experiences are causing your feelings of worthlessness, face them head-on. You don’t need to do this alone. As long as you are harboring negativity surrounding these events, your progress can be stunted.
The first step to healing may be forgiveness. You might need to make amends in your heart and extend grace to someone who perhaps doesn't deserve it. The most important thing to remember is you are doing this for yourself. The fact that someone else must be forgiven can sometimes be difficult, but ultimately, it is necessary.
On the other hand, you may need to forgive yourself. Sometimes, we have done things in the past that we are not proud of. This can cause a sense of low self-esteem, which can contribute to feelings of worthlessness. You may need to come face-to-face with the demons in your past and lay them to rest. If you allow negativity to fester inside, you might get negativity back.
Finding peace with your past can be one of the cornerstones of overcoming your feelings of low self-worth. This may not always be an easy path to walk, but it can be completely worth it. You deserve to feel worthy and have freedom from guilt surrounding things you cannot change.
Get your body moving
Exercise not only makes for a healthy body but can also make for a healthy mind. When you exercise, endorphins are released into your brain—these can work to counteract chemicals that can cause negative or sad feelings.
Many people may feel hesitant to begin exercise because it can sound like hard work. In some situations, it can be. It is all about how you put the work in. If you are the type of person who likes high-impact exercises, you can do that. On the other hand, if you would rather be relaxed, you could do low-impact walking or jogging. Yoga or swimming are some other examples of activities you might enjoy doing. These can all have the benefit of being good for the body and the mind.
Make sure that you are setting aside at least thirty minutes a day to dedicate to this. Ideally, you may want this to become a part of your routine. This can ensure that you take advantage of the full benefits that exercise can offer. If you approach it with intention and a positive mindset, you can expect the results to exceed your expectations!
Have gratitude
If you can learn to be thankful for the things you have, you can get a new lease on life in return. Look around you and find things you can be thankful for in your life.
This may be one of the easiest things you can implement to conquer feeling worthless. Even if you don't realize it, your life is filled with things that can be appreciated. Sometimes, all it takes is recognition of these things to feel better.
Sit down and make a list of all the things you are thankful for. You might even consider starting a journal that you can dedicate to doing this every day. The important thing is that you are constantly reminding yourself of the positivity in your life.
When you recognize the things you have to be grateful for, the negative thinking may begin to fall away. You can find new meaning in your life and move forward to a brighter, happier future.
Work through feelings of worthlessness in online therapy
If you feel you have tried everything and aren't getting the results you’re seeking, asking for help can be a great option. A trained counselor or therapist could help you navigate through this.
The therapists at Regain are trained and well-equipped to help you. The best thing about Regain is its convenience. Their therapists are fully certified and have thousands of hours of experience helping people just like you. In fact, surveys and studies have repeatedly found that online therapy is just as effective as in-person therapy. Online therapy also comes with added perks like its affordability and convenience.
Takeaway
Many people have shown great success in increasing self-esteem with therapy. You deserve to give that to yourself! Reach out and ask for help when you need it.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
What is a worthless person?
No human being is worthless. Feeling worthless, however, can be incredibly painful. If you find yourself feeling worthless, it may be a sign of an underlying issue, and regardless, it ought to be something to work through. You do not have to continue feeling this way, and struggling with this is not something to be ashamed of. If you find yourself feeling worthless, reach out to a mental health provider.
How do you tell someone they are not worthless?
Here are some ways to tell someone they aren't worthless:
"You are so valuable to me."
"You are a light in the world."
"You being in my life makes it so much better."
"I’m so grateful for all that you do."
"I’m so glad I met you."
You may also talk about their accomplishments and specific traits you appreciate about them to help them feel valued. While you may not always be able to solve a person's feelings of inadequacy, you can support your friend or loved one. Working through feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness is a process that can take time and effort.
Continue to be a supportive friend or loved one, and understand that if someone's feeling worthless, as helpless as it may feel on your end, the onus to make them feel as valuable as they are isn't on you. Being there can be instrumental, and we all may need people who support us, but do not take it personally or feel solely responsible for solving this for another person.
How Can I Be Less Useless?
Just as no human being is worthless, no human being is useless. If you're in a slump or are feeling worthless, here are some things you can do:
- Use positive self-talk.
- Do things to show the people around you that you care, such as telling them that you love them, engaging in a random act of kindness, helping them out with a chore, or something else.
- On a related note, if the people around you ever make you feel worthless or contribute to feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness based on things they say, set healthy boundaries and, if applicable, keep your distance. Surround yourself with those who appreciate you.
- Reframe or challenge negative thoughts that may contribute to feeling worthless or useless.
Feeling worthless or experiencing feelings of worthlessness is a potential sign of depression. If you feel worthless or notice yourself feeling worthless, hopeless, or useless regularly, reach out to a counselor or therapist. A counselor or therapist can support you in working through these feelings. Regardless of what your thoughts tell you, you are valuable and worthy. In time, your internal dialogue can become more adaptive, supportive, and positive.
What is it called when someone makes you feel worthless?
If someone makes you feel worthless on purpose, it is called emotional abuse*. If you’re experiencing name-calling, being told that you are "worthless," or if there are any other signs of emotional abuse, it is not okay, and it is important to cut ties safely when you can. Emotional abuse is never excusable, and you do not deserve to be treated in this way.
Again, if you're experiencing feelings of worthlessness or other negative feelings about yourself, do not hesitate to reach out to a counselor or therapist. Experiencing feelings of worthlessness does not mean that you are worthless. Whether these negative feelings are due to a past relationship, an unknown cause, or something else, counseling can help.
*If you are experiencing abuse or believe that you might be, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233). Help is available 24/7.
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