Why Am I So Sensitive To Criticism?
Criticism is an inevitable part of life. No matter who you are, what you do, or how great you are, at some point, you will face critics. Sometimes criticism is constructive; other times, it's not. How you handle criticism will greatly impact your quality of life, relationships with other people, and how you move through the world. If you find yourself in a situation where you are extremely sensitive to criticism, this can cause problems, especially in certain settings. Getting to the bottom of why criticism bugs you will be beneficial both in the short and long terms.
A brief overview of criticism
Criticism can come in a variety of fashions from all different sources. Certain critics may have genuine motivations and want to help you. Others may criticize you simply because they're jealous or intimidated by you. Knowing and understanding these realities about criticism is always important.
Criticism is never something that can be completely avoided. People will never cease to have their outlook on you, your decisions, and how you live life. However, no matter how harsh someone's criticism may be, you don't have to let it define you. Ultimately, the choice to internalize criticism or take it to heart is yours and yours alone. You cannot control what other people think or why they have their thoughts, but you can determine how you will respond.
What causes sensitivity to criticism?
If you're wondering why criticism is something that irks you so much, you're in luck. There are various psychological reasons and factors that are linked to sensitivity to criticism. Sometimes, knowing the reasons behind your sensitivity to criticism can allow you to overcome it or, at the very least, not be impacted to such a significant extent. By exploring the following reasons, you can determine which situation may be most applicable to you.
Childhood experiences
Children who grow up in households where perfection is the expectation are more likely to become adults who don't handle criticism very well. It has been well-established that the experiences one has in their childhood impact their adult life; reactions to criticism are certainly no exception.
Personal interpretation
Sometimes, how you interpret criticism can contribute to how sensitive you are. This is more common than most people realize. More often than not, individuals tend to react poorly to criticism when they believe it comes from a source with ill intentions. Of course, every situation is different. Sometimes, there are cases where critics truly do mean harm; in other cases, criticism can be completely valid and well-intentioned, even if the person on the receiving end doesn't think so.
Low self-esteem
Like childhood issues and personal interpretation, low self-esteem is another factor linked to sensitivity to criticism. In many cases, sensitivity happens when someone feels that something is an affront or an attack against them. In the mind of someone who experiences low self-esteem, any criticism serves to confirm that they are not good enough. In many cases, this particular reason for sensitivity to criticism can create a vicious cycle. As previously stated, criticism is sometimes constructive and can be used to better oneself.
Mental health issues
Individuals going through depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues can experience sensitivity to criticism. In cases like these, sensitivity is a symptom of a greater problem. Each person has their own manner of perceiving feedback given to them, especially when they're already going through other challenges in life. If you believe that mental health issues are linked to your sensitivity to criticism, there are resources out there and specialists that can be helpful to you. The quality of any person's mental health is very serious and nothing to be taken lightly.
How to overcome sensitivity to criticism
If you're someone who struggles with sensitivity to criticism, the good news is that you can overcome this. Nine times out of ten, the solution is to change how you interpret criticism by shifting your perspective.
You cannot control what people think or how they criticize you; however, you have power over your perception of outside opinions. Learning new ways to view criticism may prove to be beneficial as you interact with other people.
Don't take it personally
Not taking criticism personally is often easier said than done, especially when the topic is a personal matter. However, a person's thoughts or opinions of you do not have to become your reality. You know who you are. Criticism from other people does not define you. You can listen to what someone has to say, decide whether or not it's merited, and then continue going about your business. Sensitivity to criticism is usually the result of a perceived personal affront. Exercise your control over what you take to heart.
Consider the source
Criticism will come from all different sources; some are valid while others are not. In life, telling the difference between the two sources is what wisdom ultimately boils down to. One of the best ways to determine whether or not a source is valid is to consider their quality of life.
How do your critics spend their days? Are they successful or unsuccessful? Do they generally seem content or dissatisfied? If the person who criticized you is wise or someone you wish to learn from, the criticism may be worth thinking about. If not, then let it go. Not every person is qualified to provide a critique; a part of life is simply allowing certain things to roll right off you.
Be honest with yourself
Part of living life with integrity means realizing that nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes, and we all have personal shortcomings in life. There are always areas to improve, but this doesn't make you any less valuable as a human being.
Acknowledging when criticism is valid can also help you overcome sensitivity, whether you realize it or not. Sometimes, criticism from the right sources is critical to personal growth and development. The ability to recognize valid, merited criticism also comes with the added benefit of knowing when to ignore certain critics.
Self-critique
Contrary to common misconceptions, criticism does not always have to come from other people. You carry yourself with you everywhere you go; therefore, there are likely times when you're able to recognize areas where you can improve and get better. The ability to critique yourself is a sign of self-awareness and can allow you to reduce sensitivity when facing criticism from others. In many ways, this goes back to knowing who you are and being honest about feedback that isn't merited.
Run it by another source
If you find yourself in a situation where you are unsure of how to deal with criticism, don't be afraid to get a second opinion. Hearing what a different person has to say can provide a fresh perspective. Each individual is unique and will have their own outlook on people and situations they're exposed to. An additional source may or may not agree with your original critique. Furthermore, the feedback from the next person you ask could very well be the complete opposite feedback. Nevertheless, you will have a new outlook and something else to consider, at the very least.
An online therapist can help you understand and change your response to criticism
If you are dealing with extreme sensitivity to criticism or even an additional obstacle that you struggle to overcome on your own, seeking professional help may be advantageous. Sometimes, the issues we face on the surface are merely symptoms of a more dormant issue.
Professional help is nothing to be ashamed of, and it's a resource that will always be available to you. If you're willing to accept the help, you can always sign up for online therapy with Regain.
Regain therapists are licensed and trained to work with both individuals and those in relationships. You can chat with a therapist via text, telephone, or video. Regain is a convenient option for therapy since you can meet with a counselor at a time that works with your schedule—and you can meet anywhere you have a connection to the internet.
Takeaway
Online therapy has been an effective way for many people to work through all types of mental health disorders. It has also been helpful for those who struggle with their self-esteem. Online cognitive behavior therapy works to replace negative thoughts with more positive ones, and this type of treatment could help one to take in criticism in a healthier way.
Working with an online therapist allows you to receive world-class care regardless of who you are, where you live, or what your schedule looks like. Taking online therapy is one of the bravest things you can do; it requires a willingness to address issues that aren't the most pleasant yet need to be dealt with. In the long run, you will thank yourself and be glad that you chose to improve the quality of your life.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
How do I stop being sensitive to criticism?
Highly sensitive people find it hard to accept any perceived criticism, even if it’s constructive and well-intended. If you’re a highly sensitive person, you’ll be happy to know that it’s possible to become much less sensitive to criticism and learn to accept perceived criticism with ease. As long as you’re willing to put in the time and the effort, you don’t have to be the highly sensitive person greatly affected by perceived criticism forever. Here are a few methods to help you lessen your sensitivity.
Understand that you have the power to choose how you receive and react to a critical comment.
Know that a lot of criticism is invalid and is more representative of the person giving it than of yourself.
Give yourself a reality check; remind yourself of the facts of the situation rather than your feelings.
Use your sensitivity to your advantage by feeling empathy for the person criticizing you so that you can determine where the criticism is coming from.
Practice self-control by taking deep breaths and focusing on each of your five senses.
Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend; be compassionate rather than critical.
Please don’t respond to criticism immediately; take time to process it rationally.
Ask questions to understand the perceived criticism further so that you can use it to improve yourself.
If you’ve always been a highly sensitive person, it may seem challenging to change your thinking patterns when it comes to receiving someone’s criticism. But the ability to listen to someone’s criticism without feeling upset or taking it personally is a huge asset in life, and your efforts to become less sensitive are sure to pay off.
Why do I react so badly to criticism?
Oftentimes, highly sensitive people experienced situations in their childhood that led them to develop such high sensitivity. A highly sensitive person may have grown up with constant criticism or a lack of nurturing and compassion from their parents. Either one of these extreme forms of parenting can lead children to become highly sensitive people who struggle with receiving any critical comment healthily, even as adults.
Other reasons you may be a highly sensitive person regarding perceived criticism are low self-esteem and mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety. If you’ve been experiencing mental health issues, don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you need it. As a highly sensitive person, you can learn to use your sensitivity to your advantage. It’s important to note that it’s possible to accept that some perceived criticism is invalid and doesn’t need to affect the way you view yourself.
Is hypersensitivity a disorder?
Hypersensitivity is not a disorder but a personality trait. A person with hypersensitivity, or a highly sensitive person, is someone whose nervous system is highly influenced by subtleties in the environment. Highly sensitive people are greatly affected by stimuli such as changes in facial expression, lighting, scents, noises, and more. A highly sensitive person tends to feel overstimulated in loud social situations and other sensory experiences. Highly sensitive people also tend to feel their emotions very deeply and sometimes take perceived criticism personally, even if it is positive and constructive.
What is it called when you can't take criticism?
If you struggle to take criticism, you’re not alone—there are many highly sensitive people out there who take criticism personally, even when it’s not meant negatively. Some highly sensitive people who struggle with perceived criticism have a personality trait called hypersensitivity, which means that they feel emotions very intensely and can be deeply affected by what seems to be small stimuli.
Hypersensitivity isn’t always a bad thing; it can be used to your advantage in many situations. But if your inability to take someone’s criticism negatively affects your life, don’t be afraid to reach out for help and support. ReGain’s online counseling services are a great place to start.
Why am I so sensitive and crying?
If you’re highly sensitive and cry easily, you may be a highly sensitive person or an HSP. Highly sensitive people have the personality trait of hypersensitivity, and they tend to feel emotions very strongly and deeply, which can lead to frequent crying. Highly sensitive people process both positive and negative information more thoroughly and can be easily overwhelmed as a result. The average highly sensitive person tends to have trouble handling any perceived criticism they receive as well.
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