“Why Do I Hate Everyone?” Reasons You Feel This Way and How to Overcome It

Everyone gets irritated with other people at some point or another, but for some, this can develop into strong negative feelings and what feels like complete hatred for another individual. It’s normal to dislike people and even develop stronger feelings towards individuals who have done something serious to negatively affect you or others. 

Feeling like you hate everyone can cause challenges in your life, affect your regular interactions with those around you, cause issues with your physical health, and may point to emotional processing difficulties. However, you may need to decipher whether you truly hate others or if something else may be bothering you. 

Why you may feel you hate other people

Every individual is different and has ideological differences you may not always agree with. We’re not guaranteed to like every person we come across. Still, sometimes these interactions can cause so much consistent frustration and drain your emotional energy so quickly that you become angry and grow to feel like you hate people more than would be typical. 

At times, this may seem to be the case, but there are also a few other factors that may make you think you hate others when you’re just exhausted from the interactions you’re having so often.

Being an introvert 

Most of us have heard the terms “introvert” and “extrovert” Extroverts are generally considered outgoing while introverts keep to themselves, which accurately sums up the two types. Although introverts may have a close group of friends and occasionally step outside of their comfort zones for various reasons, they often prefer solitude and feel drained after being in social situations. If you’re introverted and experience this “social drain” phenomenon, you might become agitated at times by other people and may almost feel like you hate everyone. However, it likely just means that you need more “recharge” time after interactions than you initially thought so you can decompress and lower your stress levels. 

Introverts may be more reserved or observant. This can reduce the quality of their social interactions and make them perceive that others are being overbearing or invading their personal space when they’re simply trying to be friendly or get to know them better. This can cause a good deal of distress. Sometimes, one’s internal defense mechanisms will set off anger and outrage at another person, making them feel uncomfortable, thereby leading to some potentially strong feelings of dislike for another person.

Burnout

Burnout from social interactions can easily lead you to think you hate people, as well as potentially contributing to mental health concerns and reduced well-being. Sometimes certain jobs require a lot of social interaction, either over the phone or in person, and not everyone you speak to or come across is going to be pleasant or even nice. You may have a family with some strong personalities that can become exhausting after you’ve been around them too long. You may even have to interact with people as you visit certain stores or drive from one place to another, and these strangers can be irritating even at a distance. 

Social anxiety

Social anxiety may also be a contributing factor to your feelings. While most people with social anxiety experience fear, nervousness, or other common feelings associated with anxiety, it’s also possible for some of these individuals who get overwhelmed by social situations to react angrily. Rather than being fearful or overwhelmed in a more scared manner, you may end up trying to avoid situations involving other people with a mindset of strongly disliking them and getting angry by blaming your anxiety and stress solely on a specific person or the general population.

Having a stressful job

Some of the most demanding careers or jobs that involve working with other people can quickly lead to angry feelings in a person’s life. While this allows many opportunities to meet new and exciting people and have positive interactions, it often allows many negative ones. You may not truly hate other people, but when you’re in a situation that allows you to have far more unpleasant interactions with other individuals than the average person may experience, you may feel like you hate everyone.

How hatred can affect your body, your mind, and your relationships

You may find it quite difficult to experience many positive emotions if you’re constantly consumed with anger and disgust for other people, which recent articles show can affect many areas of your life. 

Hatred is an incredibly strong emotion and can affect the body as well as the mind. When you experience such a strong emotion, your body’s “fight or flight” response is triggered. Feeling this consistently can contribute to high stress levels, anxiety, depression, insomnia, weight gain, mental illness or personality disorders, and even chronic illness. Mentally, aside from anxiety and depression, you may also experience restlessness and paranoia.

These effects of regularly feeling hatred can easily decrease your quality of life, as well as affect your relationships. It’s difficult to connect to another person if you’re consumed with negativity. And suppose you’re already in a relationship and prone to feeling hatred as a response to any unpleasant interactions with your partner. In that case, this greatly inhibits your ability to approach any problems reasonably and work towards healthily resolving conflict and restoring the quality of the relationship that the two of you have together. Love is so strong of emotion that it can easily be twisted into hatred when things go south in a relationship, and this can limit your ability to have a healthy partnership with another person. In the worst cases, you may even find yourself in a “love-hate” relationship, which can be highly toxic and potentially even abusive.

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

Reasons you may feel like you hate people and how to work through these feelings

There are quite a few reasons that you may grow to feel like you plain hate other people, but there are also solutions to all these potential triggers.

Needing to take some alone time

Whether you’re an introvert by nature or you happen to interact with a significantly overwhelming amount of people regularly, it’s easy to experience burnout and need to take the time to step away to take a deep breath, recharge, and carve away some time for a bit of self-discovery. Not everyone can be expected to handle a large volume of interactions without becoming socially and mentally exhausted from it. 

The fix for this often comes in the form of alone time. Make it a point to set aside time for a bout of isolation to relax, unwind, and reset so you’re better prepared for handling your interactions with others the next time it’s required of you.

Needing to learn to “agree to disagree”

The vast majority have different views on things in life, which is often due to several different factors. Many people have different beliefs, different upbringings, and different experiences that affect how they think and feel about things. Sometimes they may have some strong opinions that conflict with your own. There’s nothing wrong with a healthy debate, but allowing arguing and differing views on an issue makes you feel like you hate someone who isn’t accomplishing anything, nor is it good for your overall health. This is often seen online and on social media. Some people also love to provoke others who they know have a strong opinion on something. These kinds of interactions can easily provoke a person’s anger and make them feel compelled to lash out and passionately hate whoever has offended them or dared to challenge their perspective. 

Rather than indulging in bickering and hostility, the best option to help you become more accepting of others and less irritated with them, in general, is to learn how to agree to disagree. Rarely will people see eye to eye on every issue that life has to offer, but it’s okay to still get along with others who don’t see things the way you do. Agreeing to disagree means simply accepting that someone has views different from your own, but that doesn’t mean they are deserving of hatred. The healthiest and most mature response to this is acknowledging your differences and proceeding forward, interacting peacefully, distancing yourself, or walking away if approached with aggression on a topic.

Focusing on the negative instead of focusing on the positive

Some people focus more on the negative throughout their day than the positive. This can lead to feelings of strong dislike for the people and things around them. 

This requires a shift of perspective. Take time to calm yourself down from being irritated or upset with someone you’ve interacted with, and try to think of the good things you’ve experienced and are thankful for during your day. Instead of focusing on how annoying or rude someone else was and wallowing in anger or other negative emotions, shift your perspective and thinking and acknowledge the little things and the good things that occur in your day-to-day life instead of giving so much attention to the bad.

Holding onto anger instead of forgiving the people that did you wrong

On a more personal note, sometimes feelings of hatred for another person can be due to personal experiences with them, such as them having said or done something to hurt you deeply or to cause problems in your life at some point. Although these feelings are often quite justified, holding onto anger will only hurt you more than it will ever affect the person those emotions are directed at. 

Finding a way to allow yourself to forgive a person that has hurt you will greatly decrease your emotional distress and give you freedom from dwelling on negative emotions that may be impacting your own life, relationships, and happiness long after an unpleasant interaction with the person you can’t stand has taken place.

Needing to make life changes

Sometimes, larger changes may need to be made in your life, especially if you’re struggling with having a particular profession or other activities that may amplify your anxiety, stress levels, and negative emotions in regards to other people. 

Needing to set boundaries

Much social stress leading to intense feelings of dislike for people can be due to not setting and enforcing boundaries with those around you. Some people are agitated by physical touch and need to express their need for distance and strictly verbal contact. Some people may have friends, family, bosses, or coworkers who ask too much of them and their time. They need to express their need for respecting their boundaries when it comes to not being overworked and pulled in too many directions regularly. 

You may worry that speaking up or disappointing those around you will only cause further problems. It may not always go over smoothly, but insisting upon being treated concerning your needs as an individual is necessary to avoid excess stress unpleasant feelings for other people.

Lacking the understanding for why you feel negatively towards others

If you feel like you hate everyone—or a large number of people—but aren’t sure why, it may be time to interrogate the reasons behind the hatred. Many people are afraid of the unknown, which sometimes can be distorted by anger and turn into hatred or discrimination. 

Much discrimination comes from not understanding the differences between what you are most familiar and comfortable with and those that aren’t similar to you. It sometimes stems from simply being unfamiliar with certain beliefs, cultures, or other defining factors. In these cases, it’s often best to seek to educate yourself on the things you don’t know about to understand better why some people are the way they are and eliminate that fear of the unknown at its sources. 

Another common factor in hating someone else is recognizing in them something that we don’t like about ourselves. This is an opportunity to reflect and make changes in your own life. 

Being taught hatred

Hatred and a lack of empathy can sometimes be taught and passed down, either intentionally or unintentionally, by family or others we may have looked up to throughout our lives. If you’ve heard nothing but bad about a person or group of people, it may be worth investigating the information you’ve been taught about why you should feel the way you do towards them. 

Envy and jealousy

Often, feelings of hatred based on jealousy or envy can originate from feelings of insecurity. It can be easy to feel like life is unfair when friends, family, or other people in your life have something you want but don’t have. Jealousy can escalate into more extreme feelings of dislike at times.  

This can often be remedied by taking the time to counter negative thoughts or putting in work to better yourself and your situation. If jealousy is the reason for your hatred, it may be helpful to focus on the good things you have and want in your own life. Consider setting some goals for yourself that will help you get closer to getting what you want and reminding yourself of the wonderful things you have accomplished. 

How Regain can help overcome hatred

Suppose hatred or a constant, strong dislike of other people seems to affect your life, mental and physical health, and relationships. It may be helpful to seek professional treatment and emotional support through online therapy. There are many licensed professionals available to assist in helping you cope with your emotions and find healthy solutions to the problems associated with these feelings and the life factors that may be contributing to your sentiments.

Online therapy through these professionals is a valid option for treating a feeling of hatred toward people. According to recent research, not only is remote therapy just as effective as its in-person counterparts, but it is also more affordable to a wider range of people. 

Regain has mental health professionals available remotely, making reaching out for advice (or even someone to vent and talk to) convenient, regardless of your schedule or location. If you want to foster healthy relationships with other people and receive guidance on implementing the changes necessary to have a more positive, fulfilling life, online therapy can be an incredibly powerful tool.