How To Be A Better Partner: Love Languages For Better Mental Health
A relationship is only as strong as the two people in it. A relationship can’t flourish if either partner is less than committed and unable to give the best of themselves. To strengthen the relationship, you must first strengthen your role as a partner, especially in struggling relationships. There is nothing you can do to make your mate better in the relationship. However, you have complete control over yourself and can do many things to improve your relationship.
If you’re constantly wondering how to be a better partner in a struggling relationship, you aren’t alone. More than 15% of couples admit to getting professional help to work through relationship issues. Each person involved needs to find their strength as an individual to make the relationship as a whole work. If you’re committed to becoming better as a person, you can honestly say that you’re giving your best to make your relationship as strong as possible. Keep reading to learn more about how to improve your struggling relationship.
How to be a better partner when your relationship is struggling
A relationship doesn’t begin to struggle overnight. As you go through your days and weeks, you will likely notice signs that things are breaking down. You mustn’t ignore these signs. The longer you allow them to linger, the worse they may become. To improve a struggling relationship, you must first improve the areas in which you are struggling.
All relationships encounter rough patches, but the key is to communicate any issues of concern within the relationship openly. Don’t allow every little thing to have a negative impact on you or your behavior. Everyone will have an occasional bad day and feel out of touch at times, but it can cause the relationship to struggle if this is a lingering feeling.
Learning how to be a better partner may be the key to improving your relationship. Here are a few indicators that your relationship may be struggling and you should consider seeking answers regarding how to be a better partner.
How understanding love languages can reignite intimacy
Rough patches in a relationship can make it difficult to connect intimately. If you’ve noticed that the intimacy between you and your partner is almost non-existent or that the desire for it is less than it once was, this could indicate that things are worse than just a rough patch. Once intimacy begins to dwindle, your emotional and mental connection may also be off.
There’s an unhealthy amount of space between the two of you
Having space is necessary, but too much of it can harm a relationship. You don’t necessarily have to see each other daily or sleep under the same roof each night. However, if it becomes normal to go days or weeks without seeing each other, that’s a sign of trouble. If you and your partner are going weeks without being close to each other, your relationship is likely struggling.
Sex life: You have time for everything except your partner
If you’ve found that you’re able to find time for friends, family, and hobbies, but not your partner, there may well be trouble in paradise. A healthy relationship is one where both partners make time for each other. Life will present issues that sometimes prevent you from spending the same amount of time together from week to week. It’s important to develop strategies or make an honest effort to overcome those issues and create quality time for each other.
You and your partner aren’t talking to each other
This is probably one of the top ways to tell that your relationship is struggling. If you find yourself thinking internally about your problems but not discussing them with your mate, you need to find a way to address the issues presenting themselves. It’s important to express to your partner your feelings and things that concern you regarding your relationship. Talking openly about your concerns can help rebuild the kindness, emotional connection, and committed relationship you once had. If your partner is holding back or not talking to you as much, try to initiate conversations or open lines of communication. These are small but important steps when learning how to be a better partner.
Relationships aren’t always easy. Intense conversations with open communication usually ground long-term relationships. Discussions about intimacy, money, time, and goals are all important to have. They are major players in the relationship game, as they should be. However, any issues that arise should be given equal amounts of attention to avoid relationship conflict. Choosing to ignore problems in hopes that they’ll disappear is unhealthy and not good for the relationship.
How improving your mental health can make you a better partner
If you are searching for the answer to becoming a better partner, you should know that there is no scientific formula with which to derive the answer. You can, however, implement several strategies to help improve your role as a partner in your relationship, including the following.
Exercise patience and trust to increase relationship health
Patience is an important trait to have in life and even more beneficial in your relationship. Learn to exercise patience in all aspects of your relationship. For example, don’t complain, become easily frustrated, or display anger while waiting for your partner to arrive where you're meeting for dinner. If your partner is running behind or arrives later than the appointed time, wait patiently and don’t dwell on it upon their arrival. Practicing patience helps you to become a better partner in your relationship. Be trusting in your relationship, and don’t allow jealousy to overtake you. Trust is one of the leading causes of couples splitting.
A proactive partner is a progressive partner
You must be proactive and not reactive. Whatever issues you face in your relationship with your partner, search for positive solutions. That’s a proactive approach. Too often, couples fall victim to struggling relationships because they react to every issue they face. Is the relationship facing financial struggles? Search for ways to supplement your income. Is there not enough time spent together as a couple? Make a plan for dedicated time for you and your partner to do something together.
Display humbleness
Eliminate pride and egotism from your personal list of traits. Become humble and admit your flaws as a partner. Regardless of how influential you are, emit a balanced display of respect, compassion, support, and love to your mate.
Focus on personal development
Personal development leads to self-improvement. You can focus on augmenting your romantic abilities, improving your attitude, and understanding how to be a better partner. This translates to you not only being a romantic and humorous partner but a loving, kind, and caring one as well.
A heart of kindness
It’s possible to be a good-hearted person with bad habits. When you're in a relationship with another person, kindness should always reside in your heart. Don’t display acts of hatred or self-centeredness at any point in the relationship. If you commit to being a partner that displays kindness, love will be a focus of the relationship. Developing this kindness can be essential in learning how to be a better partner.
Be a gentle giant
Gentleness is important in your relationship. You can be the gentlest person in the world, but failure to show this side to your partner doesn’t help your relationship. Be kind to your partner and don’t hurt them emotionally or mentally. Guard their body, mind, heart, and soul.
Show gratitude to your partner
You should show gratitude to your partner by thanking them for being a part of your life. Be appreciative of their kind gestures, efforts, and the compromises they make for you and the relationship. It doesn’t matter how huge or small their efforts may be; they show contentment. Don’t be envious of what others have in their relationship that you might lack in yours. Make sure your mate knows that they are important to you and make your life complete.
Commit to listen more
As a partner in a relationship, listening is essential to a happy and successful union. Listening goes beyond what is being expressed verbally, but you must also listen to matters of the heart. Sometimes your partner may say that they’re okay, but their heart may be saying something totally different. When your partner speaks, look into their eyes. When they’re expressing their frustrations, listen to respond and not to react. Practice active listening with your partner to truly understand what they are saying.
Be respectful
Remember that your partner’s feelings are important. Failure to respect them can lead to relationship issues brought on by hurt feelings. Be a nourisher and always keep your promises. To respect your partner, you must first know how to respect yourself.
You have to love yourself
A good partner realizes that self-care and self-love are important. Your partner may grow concerned if you aren’t implementing self-care that helps you thrive as a person. Practice healthy habits that help you to grow as an individual and lead a healthy life. Maintaining your own identity while being in a relationship is essential for your self-worth and overall happiness- and is an important part of learning how to be a better partner. Avoid stressful lifestyle habits and implement healthy physical and emotional choices to help you feel good about yourself. If you feel good mentally, physically, and emotionally, you will be able to be the type of partner that your mate deserves. Both people deserve to be happy in a relationship.
How understanding love languages can help you become the best partner
If you desire to understand how to be a better partner in struggling relationships, you must commit to identifying and addressing your flaws. Begin the process by pledging pure and unconditional support and love to your mate. This requires you to eliminate impurities and any other elements that interfere with your ability to be a great partner.
The traits that destroy a relationship include hatred, boastfulness, selfishness, dishonesty, and other similar characteristics. Replace those with kindness, pure-heartedness, respect, faithfulness, humility, and trust. These are the foundation of a healthy and prosperous relationship. Both healthy and struggling relationships may benefit greatly from relationship counseling. It can be a great tool for building a relationship that lasts.
Many couples have turned to online counseling when they've experienced struggle in their relationship—or simply want to maintain a relationship that's thriving. It can be difficult to manage appointments at a therapist's physical office for one person, let alone two. With online therapy, everything is done through an electronic device, making connecting much simpler. Online counseling is often less expensive than in-person therapy, too, making it a good choice for those on a budget.
Regain is an online therapy platform designed to cater to those in relationships. After filling out a questionnaire, you and your partner are matched with a licensed therapist who can work with you alone or together—or a combination of both. Here are some reviews written by those who have connected with a Regain counselor.
Counselor reviews
“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”
“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time... She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
How do you fix a struggling relationship?
There are many ways to save a struggling relationship. However, the first step is determining if the relationship is worth saving. For example, if you’re in a struggling relationship and are experiencing abuse of any kind, it may be in your best interest to end the relationship and move on to be safe and healthy.
If your relationship is one you want to fix, you can start by identifying what areas need to be fixed. It may be that you and your partner struggle to communicate healthily, aren’t on the same page on important issues, or feel that you’ve grown apart from each other.
When you know what areas you’d like to improve, you can begin to look for strategies that can help address those areas. Working with a couples therapist can help if you aren’t sure what exactly needs to be fixed or how to fix it.
How can I strengthen my relationship? How to be a better partner: Fixing a struggling relationship
One of the first steps you can take to save a struggling relationship or strengthen what you already have is to focus on yourself and your actions. It can be easy in a relationship to get caught up in focusing on what you wish your partner would do for you or what behavior you wish they would change. This can lead to having the mindset of “if they do this for me, then I’ll do that for them,” which does not help strengthen a relationship.
Look at what improvements you can make to yourself and whatever is in your control in the relationship because you can’t control what your partner does or doesn’t do.
Another thing you can do is focus on having open and honest conversations with your partner, even about tough topics like finances, sex, and other sensitive struggles. If you and your partner can have these honest conversations healthily, it may help you identify the areas that need to be addressed to help strengthen your relationship.
If you and your partner are struggling to strengthen your relationship, it may help to speak with a therapist. A licensed therapist can work with you or you and your partner to help you identify steps you can take to improve your relationship.
Relationship advice from counselors on becoming a better partner
It’s important to understand that every relationship is going to go through struggles from time to time. Relationships are made up of two imperfect people who aren’t always going to agree on things. Therefore, ups and downs in relationships are normal. That means that not all struggling relationships are worth giving upon. Many relationships can be saved and restored.
However, not all struggling relationships are worth saving, either. There are some basic needs that relationships require, and safety is one of them. If a relationship involves any type of abuse—physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional—it may not be worth saving. In these cases, it can be helpful to work with a professional therapist to move forward healthily and safely.
Another reason that your relationship might not be worth saving is if your partner has been unfaithful or broken your trust and refuses to make changes. Trust and honesty are important for healthy relationships. While broken trust can be difficult to overcome, it can be done by taking the right steps.
What is an unhealthy relationship?
An unhealthy relationship can look many different ways. It could be a relationship where abuse is present or where one or both partners aren’t being respected within the relationship. It can involve things like distrust and dishonesty. Unhealthy relationships can also occur when one partner is constantly taking without giving into the relationship.
If you feel that you’re in an unhealthy relationship, it may be helpful to speak with a therapist to identify any unhealthy patterns or behaviors in the relationship along with strategies to address them which might help the relationship to survive.
How do you bring the spark back into a relationship?
If you’re ready to bring the spark back into your relationship, it may help to focus on your own thoughts. If you’re always focused on what your partner is doing wrong and the things you wish they would change, it’s hard to appreciate them and feel the same way you did about them initially. This is why it can be helpful to start by changing your thoughts. Focus on what you love about your partner and what drew you to them in the first place.
You may also find it helpful to dedicate time to spend with your partner. When life gets busy, it’s easy to forget to spend time together, just the two of you. But that time is important for fostering a healthy relationship. Make time for each other.
If you’re struggling in your relationship, it can be helpful to work with a therapist to identify additional ways to address any problem areas and bring the spark back in your relationship.
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