What You Need To Know About How To Be In A Relationship

Behavior patterns for single people can be significantly different from those in relationships. However, if you didn’t have healthy relationships modeled for you as a child or have other factors influencing your behavior, you may not know how to act when you have a partner. Read on to discover helpful tips about how to be in a relationship.

What makes a healthy relationship?

Do you have a solid idea of how you’d like your romantic partner to behave? There’s a good chance that anyone you’re in a relationship with will have opinions on how they want you to act when you’re together and apart. While each emotional and physical connection in a relationship can be unique, researchers have compiled some common elements that can help couples openly communicate their needs and expectations as they provide mutual love and support. 

Elements usually present in healthy relationships:

• Open, honest communication
• Feeling and being safe
• Mutual care and consideration
• Healthy conflict and conflict-resolution
• Compromise
• Partnership
• Physical intimacy with respect and consent
• Mutual support
• Emotional intimacy
• Love
• Independence
• Equality
• Understanding
• Trust
• Responsibility and accountability

— Johns Hopkins University

Being single isn’t necessarily a bad thing

Some people may be attracted to the idea of a relationship more than the reality. Humans are social creatures, so a connection with someone special often seems attractive. However, your reasons for being in a relationship can affect how well things work. While some believe there is a stigma against being single, others embrace it wholeheartedly. If you tend to rush into relationships that don’t work out, you may seek a partner to avoid being alone rather than because you want a healthy, functional relationship. The single life isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and changing your perspective about it can help you realize when a connection could become something more. Take the time to focus on yourself and determine what you want in a partner and a relationship. 

Exploring how to be in a relationship

There are many things you won't learn in school, including how to be in a relationship. Many people develop ideas of what relationships should (or shouldn't) look like and how partners express love for one another during childhood while watching their parents and caregivers. However, if you had a lot of adverse experiences and unreliable care during your early years, you may have an attachment style that makes relationships more difficult to manage. 

Whether you’re in your first relationship or trying again after a series of failed connections, explore these research-backed tips about how to behave when you have a significant other in a romantic partnership. 

Find a healthy balance

Some people delve into a relationship with everything they have, pouring all their time, energy, and attention into it. However, if your partner doesn’t reciprocate, it can create an unhealthy balance in the relationship. Studies show that many long-term relationships involve partners who maintain a healthy balance between the connection to their partner and their own interests, friends, and support network.

Take time to work on yourself

Loving yourself and being comfortable with your identity can help you function better in a relationship. Self-love can be a crucial aspect of a healthy relationship. 

“Finding yourself means soul-searching the peaks and valleys of your life and seeing them as a necessary part of your growth. Having the ability to self-reflect means being comfortable spending time with yourself, devoid of shame and judgment, to work on you—your insecurities, strengths, flaws, and the valuable contributions that you have to offer to yourself and others. The ability to truly find happiness and love in yourself makes you more confident and self-assured in your love for others. We can only be good for others when we are good to ourselves.” — Self-Love Is The New #RelationshipGoals

Learn to understand and express your emotions 

Develop your sense of emotional awareness, intelligence, and literacy so you can recognize what you’re feeling, understand how it affects you, and express your feelings and needs to your partner. 

Tips for building emotional intimacy with your partner

• Put your phone down and focus on them. 
• Make yourself emotionally available and vulnerable. 
• Prioritize time spent alone as a couple. 
• Learn their emotional cues, so you know when they're sad, angry, etc.

Learn how to communicate

Studies show that communication is often at the heart of healthy relationships. The ability to tell your partner what you’re feeling without the fear of judgment or to understand how your significant other feels can be vital to working through problems together. Communication allows you to be there for your partner, offering the love and support you want in return. 

Understand that compromise is necessary

Pushing too hard to make a relationship work can be counterproductive. If you are the only one putting in the effort to make things work, it can negatively affect your self-confidence and make the relationship a significant stressor. Try finding a healthy balance and communicating with your partner. If you feel like you don't have enough time together, try instituting regular time to spend alone together as a couple. 

Spending time together is crucial

Life can get busy with work commitments, social obligations, and the chaos of family and children. Try planning a regular date night and prioritizing your time together. 

Exploring how to date

While the idea of a relationship may be enticing, you still have to find a partner first. Dating can be a challenging experience, but it can also be a learning opportunity, showing you what you don't want in a potential partner. 

Don’t rely too much on dating sites

Dating sites can be an excellent way to find potential partners but don't rely too much on them to find someone. Men seeking women can face overwhelming competition, and women are often bombarded with messages, many crossing the line into inappropriate. While many people find their forever loves through digital apps and sites, try not to forget the power of face-to-face interactions. 

Look for a potential partner where you already go

Sometimes, you may not consider the people you interact with regularly as potential partners, but you may overlook someone who could be a great match. 

How therapy can help you build healthy relationships

While many people want to be in a relationship, they don’t necessarily know how to behave once they’ve found a partner. Consider working with a licensed therapist online through a virtual relationship therapy platform like Regain if you’ve had trouble forming and maintaining healthy connections with previous partners. Therapy can teach you communication skills, practical coping strategies to manage stress, and effective conflict-resolution strategies to overcome disagreements. Parents or guardians seeking additional emotional support and online therapy for kids from 12 to 19 can contact TeenCounseling. 

Versatile mental health treatments have been of increasing interest for several years, and studies show that online and face-to-face therapy provide comparable results. Many patients report that virtual treatment is more cost-effective and requires shorter wait times to speak with someone. Teletherapy platforms also offer connection to a comprehensive network of mental health professionals. If you don’t connect with a therapist who fits your personality, understands you, and makes you feel comfortable, finding another provider is easy. Couples interested in seeking therapy together may be interested to know that studies show online couples therapy is also as effective as traditional in-person treatments. 

Takeaway 

Wanting to be in love and have a romantic relationship doesn’t mean you know how to be a good partner. Many people have misconceptions about how relationships work and what healthy emotional bonds look like. The information presented in this article may offer insight into various elements of healthy relationships and how therapy can help you and your partner maintain a solid emotional and physical bond.