How To Fix An Unhealthy Relationship With Counseling
There are often times in relationships when couples encounter challenges and conflicts that prove difficult to navigate without professional guidance. In many cases, couples therapy or counseling can deliver helpful and unbiased guidance for those who are experiencing complications or unhappiness in their relationship.
Though you may have considered couples therapy as an option for improving your relationship, it is common to feel unsure of where to begin in your search. In this article, we will explore various methods of couples therapy, as well as compare costs and benefits.
Methods of couples therapy
The purpose of couples therapy is to create a natural and supportive space where partners can enhance communication, strengthen bonds and resolve conflict with the guidance of a professional. According to research, couples therapy positively impacts around 70% of those who participate, often leading to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship overall.
With an average of 49% of married couples seeking counseling at some point during marriage, research on effective methods of couples therapy continues to expand. While finding couples counseling or therapy options that work within your budget may take time and research, receiving professional guidance may be instrumental in saving your relationship..
When researching and comparing couples therapy options, there are a number of methods you may want to explore, including:
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
An effective, evidence-based method used to treat a number of psychological disorders. CBT aims to identify and reframe unhelpful behavioral patterns in order to develop new and more effective responses. CBT has been shown to be a highly effective treatment for couples looking to improve their relationship.
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT)
A short-term form of couples therapy that aims to strengthen the physical and emotional bonds between partners experiencing disappointment or distress in their relationship. Typically, EFT is presented in three stages: de-escalation, restructuring interactions, and consolidation.
Positive psychology therapy (PPT)
A relatively new therapeutic approach. PPT differs from typical therapy-based interventions by placing an emphasis on positivity and positive outcomes. PPT aims to shift the participants' thoughts away from what is “wrong” and toward what is good and positive.
Solution focused therapy (SFT)
Centered around setting goals and finding solutions. According to the Institute Of Solution Focused Therapy, SFT is “a hope friendly, positive emotion eliciting, future-oriented vehicle for formulating, motivating, achieving, and sustaining desired behavioral change”.
Comparing costs and benefits
When researching and comparing costs of couples therapy, it is important to note that prices may vary greatly based on factors including location, provider, session length, and more. Typically, the most drastic price difference tends to exist between in-person and online therapy.
While in-person couples therapy is effective, recent research shows that online couples therapy is equally effective.
Along with effectiveness and affordability, online therapy offers a higher level of flexibility, as sessions can be scheduled at a time that meets you and your partner’s needs. Participating in couples therapy online eliminates the need for travel or commute, creating additional advantages for couples in remote areas or for those with limited mobility.
If you and your partner are currently insured, you may want to explore what your coverage has to offer. Though health insurance tends to differ, some companies may offer coverage for online couples or in-person therapy.
Depending on factors such as income and household, couples that reside in the U.S. may qualify for certain healthcare programs such as Medicare or Medicaid. Additionally, some online therapy platforms, such as BetterHelp, offer financial aid to those who qualify.
Counselor reviews
“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”
“Austa has been wonderful thus far. She has helped my partner and I during an unimaginably difficult time... She has also guided us in communicating effectively and setting appropriate boundaries in our relationship. I was hesitant to pursue counseling at the beginning, but I truly believe that it is making a difference for our relationship. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.”
Takeaway
If you and your partner are experiencing challenges in your relationship, there are a number of therapy options and methods available that may help you and your partner resolve conflict and strengthen communication. When looking for a method of couples therapy that fits within your budget, online therapy may be the most convenient and affordable option.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How do you heal an unhealthy relationship?
Healing a toxic and dysfunctional relationship takes time, work, and a commitment from each of you to do your part. To fix a toxic relationship, you both need to learn and practice good communication skills. Dealing with bad relationships is hard, especially if you're dealing with a toxic spouse or partner. Despite this, when you give your relationship some needed attention, things can get better between the two of you.
As you communicate with each other, you may discover the reasons behind your toxic behaviors. And if you work with a couples' therapist, they can help you uncover and sort out past issues that prevent each of you from being your most loving selves. You can learn to practice empathy with each other and reconnect on both physical and emotional levels. By dealing with the challenges in your relationship, you can turn a bad relationship into a good relationship in time. Then, once you have a healthy relationship, you can set goals for yourself to reach your ideals of the most healthy relationship of all.
What are 3 warning signs of an unhealthy relationship?
There are many, many signs one might list that point to a bad relationship. Here are three signs that are common in bad relationships.
- You are constantly playing the blame game with each other. No one wants to take responsibility for their own actions, and you both end up pointing the finger at your partner when things don't go your way. To fix a bad relationship like this, it may be that you both need to work on being more realistic in your thinking. A therapist can help you analyze your blaming thoughts, get to the real root of the problems, and learn to think differently about them.
- You don't practice effective communication. Instead, you give each other the silent treatment or argue endlessly without ever resolving anything. In this case, working on your communication skills is a good first step if you want to improve your relationship.
- You no longer trust each other. Lack of trust in a bad relationship may have started within the current relationship. But more likely, there are underlying issues that come from your childhood or earlier relationships. Getting to the source of your distrustful feelings can help you fix a toxic relationship. It can also help you build a more fulfilling life and relationships with friends and family that support your partnership.
Can toxic relationships be fixed?
Yes, bad relationships can sometimes be fixed if both people are willing to change. Often, what happens is that one partner wants to fix a toxic relationship by demanding that their partner does all the changing. However, if you truly want to improve your relationship, you need to look within and your partner to solve your problems as a couple.
The good news is that you can have a healthy relationship if you both work at it. A counselor is trained to know the hallmarks of healthy relationships and assist you in learning the skills needed to develop a healthy relationship. Your therapist will support you and guide you as you explore the reasons for your bad relationship – even if those reasons started when you were a child. It won't be easy, and the worse your relationship is, the more work it will take. But the bottom line is you might be able to fix a bad relationship if you are both committed to it.
How do you reset your relationship?
Most people with bad relationships wish that they could start over with a healthy relationship. But that's not really something you can do. You need to work through your issues by learning how to communicate your needs and express your feelings in healthy ways.
However, in a sense, you can reset your relationship. To do so, you need to do something significantly different from what you are doing now. Perhaps the best option is to talk to a couples' counselor. This shakes things up a bit by putting you in a new situation with a new helper who can work with you in new ways to fix a toxic relationship.
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship interferes with your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Like a toxic poison, it eats away the good. But in the case of a toxic relationship, what it eats away is your self-esteem, your sense of , and your loving feelings towards your partner. That's why it's so important to fix a toxic relationship as soon as possible. Otherwise, you may become severely depressed, anxious, or suffer from other mental health challenges. And when that happens, your physical health will almost certainly deteriorate as well.
But even though it might not seem possible, you can have a healthy relationship. By working with a counselor, you can develop a better life and relationships that build you up rather than tear you down.
Can a toxic person change?
Yes, they can. However, to do so, there has to be some catalyst for change – some event, situation, or even a thought that helps them realize they are toxic and want to change.
Anytime you are trying to fix a toxic relationship, you have to consider that one or both of you might be toxic. So, during therapy, you will be more likely to meet your relationship goals if you both explore the possibility you might be a toxic person. Then, if you discover that you are toxic, there are things you can do to become healthier and more loving. And your therapist can help you with that!
How can I make my relationship healthy?
Your willingness to work on your relationship is an excellent first step to building a healthy relationship. Now, get ready for some work. You will need to learn to communicate more effectively, develop greater trust with each other, express your feelings in appropriate and unharmful ways, and practice empathy and compassion for each other. With your couples' counselor by your side, the two of you can create a better relationship that is healthy, strong, and satisfying.
What does unhealthy love look like?
Why do people stay in unhealthy relationships?
How do you know someone is not good for you?
How does one move on from a bad relationship?
Can chronic bad relationships ever become good?
Can speaking with a friend or a professional help repair a broken relationship?
What are effective ways to remove toxic individuals from our lives?
Why is it difficult to get out of an unhealthy relationship?
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