How To Start A Conversation With A Guy: Forging Connections Both Online And Off

Starting a conversation with anyone can be a frightening task, particularly as an adult. Because familiarity is an important part of creating a connection, the best way to start a conversation with a guy may be to make your presence known. Below, we’ll explore some general tips for striking up a conversation. We’ll also discuss how you can enter new relationships with confidence, whether you’re reaching out from behind a screen or not.

6 tips to start a conversation with your crush

Starting a conversation with a guy can start by making your presence a regular staple in his life. After all, if familiarity breeds comfort, interest, and intimacy, you can get your foot in the door by simply becoming a familiar face. The more you interact with your love interest face-to-face, the better: regularly seeing someone you are interested in can raise attraction for both parties.

1) Start with a smile

Smiling can be a powerful tool. It can make you seem kinder and more trustworthy and is a small, simple way to invite someone to talk to you or interact with you. Beginning with a smile can help put you at ease, put the person you are interested in at ease and welcome closer, more intimate conversation. If you are starting your conversation online, this will likely have to be adapted; if you are using a dating site, make sure your profile picture is one of you smiling.

2) Know your motive

If you are hoping to get to know someone casually, the way you speak will probably differ greatly from how you speak to someone you are hoping to force a lasting connection with. Make sure you know your intentions so you can adapt your approach accordingly.

3) Have some topics handy

Having topics on hand can help ease some of the anxiety involved in talking to someone new. If you know a little something about the person you are hoping to talk to, you can tailor your subjects to his likes and interests and highlight the things you have in common. If you are unfamiliar with him, you can select relatively universal topics, such as hobbies, sports, TV, movies, and more.

4) Highlight commonalities

When you begin talking to someone, emphasize the things the two of you have in common. As mentioned above, familiarity can be an important, positive aspect of forging connections and maintaining them. If you want to keep someone's interest piqued, make sure to draw attention to any similarities the two of you might have, such as your family histories, your belief systems, or even your areas of expertise. 

Pointing out how the two of you are similar can help keep the conversation going strong and plant the idea in your conversation partner's mind that the two of you are uniquely compatible.

5) Keep the questions coming

Everyone likes to have attention to them at some point or another. When striking up a conversation with a guy, whether you are speaking to him in person or online, keep the questions coming to forge a connection and continue your exploration of one another. People generally love to talk about themselves and often love being the center of attention when they like the person offering  it, so having a steady stream of questions in your back pocket can be a wonderful way to keep your romantic interest alive.

6) Don't be afraid of silence

There will likely be lulls in conversation. The natural flow of a conversation necessitates certain points during which neither party is speaking. Allowing silence to have its place can help both of you feel more at ease with one another. Silence can be an acceptable, expected aspect of interpersonal interaction. Don’t panic or rush to fill it – try to embrace it and use it as an opportunity to soak in the person you’re with.

Possible stumbling blocks

There may be some instances in which the nerves of speaking to someone new run rampant and make speaking to someone new almost impossible. This can come as a result of prior trauma or difficulty in relationships, romantic and platonic alike. If your experience with relationships has largely been unpleasant or marked by pain and rejection, you might feel an intense urge to keep to yourself and avoid opening yourself up to the possibility of someone new.

Likewise, living with a mental health condition like anxiety or depression can make it challenging to reach out to and maintain conversations with others. If you have a hard time striking up conversations or forming relationships, know that you aren’t alone. You can learn to form meaningful bonds with others – it may just take some time and practice to get where you want to be.

That’s where tools like online therapy can come into play. Working with a therapist can help you develop tools and strategies to manage challenges, improve your communication skills, and create new relationships. When you choose to engage in online therapy, you can access support right from home. Join sessions on your own time and from a location that works for your schedule.

You won’t have to compromise on the quality of your care, either. Research shows that online therapy doesn’t have to be less effective than in-person options. In fact, one study found that online cognitive behavioral therapy may be more effective than in-person therapy for some individuals. Online therapy may be the first step toward self-discovery and the start of your self-confidence journey.

Takeaway

Although starting a conversation can be difficult, there are many steps you can take to reach out to a guy you’re interested in. Having topics on hand, familiarizing yourself with the guy in question, and remaining open can all be simple and effective ways to engage with someone new and begin the process of getting to know each other. When in doubt, never hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional for guidance and support.