The Loneliness Epidemic, Causes And Effects, And How To Overcome Loneliness

Humans have an innate need to belong. We have been living, hunting, and eating in tribes for millennia and are born with the primal desire to connect. However, it has become increasingly apparent that we are living in a loneliness epidemic.

Many of us feel perpetually lonely, even in an age in which communication has never been quicker, easier, and more convenient. And it is not just those who live alone who can experience chronic aloneness; people surrounded by others every day, in a committed marriage, or who have hundreds of Instagram followers or Facebook friends can still feel a deep sense of loneliness.

The loneliness epidemic

Although we live in a technologically advanced era, there has been a steep increase in feelings of loneliness and disconnection. Since the 1980s, rates of loneliness have doubled in the United States, with over 40% of Americans reporting that they feel lonely. U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy wrote in the Harvard Business Review, "During my years caring for patients, the most common pathology I saw was not heart disease or diabetes; it was loneliness."

Although loneliness does not discriminate, affecting people of all ages, races, and backgrounds, it is more likely to impact young and older adults. Research has shown that a third of seniors feel lonely in the U.S., while 10 percent of people aged 16 to 24 in the U.K. reported being always or often lonely.

It is a troubling issue that affects the well-being of humanity, impacts the healthcare system, and uses tax dollars for healthcare facilities. There is no easy solution to this complicated pandemic, and authorities consider it a serious public health concern.

The causes of loneliness

Many factors can contribute to feelings of pervasive and profound loneliness. It may arise during significant and transitional stages in life, like moving away from home, having a new baby, or starting college.

Some blame the rise of social media, which can decrease the quality of real-life relationships and feed feelings of isolation. According to Cigna's U.S. Loneliness Index, two in five people confess their relationships are not meaningful and feel isolated.

Poor social skills are another possible contributing factor. Those who struggle to connect with others in real life often turn to their phones to quench their need for social bonds. One survey found that people who logged in for more than two hours per day online were lonelier than individuals who only used social media for half an hour per day.

Individualism is another possible reason why loneliness is rising. There is pressure, particularly in the Western world, to be independent, autonomous, and unique. The need to make it independently and the push to work long hours to succeed and rise above everyone else can result in burnout, anxiety, and loneliness.

The effects of loneliness on physical and mental health

While fleeting loneliness may not seriously impact a person's health, persistent isolation can be insidious and has numerous adverse effects on a person's overall well-being.

People affected by chronic loneliness may feel that they do not have anyone to turn to when they need help, like they don't belong anywhere, or that their relationships are superficial. They struggle with a profound sense of worthlessness, lack of control, and emptiness. And because loneliness triggers a fight-or-flight response from the brain, they feel they are in perpetual harm or danger, leading to anger, irritability, and fear. This further isolates and disconnects them from the connection they so desperately need.

This growing epidemic is linked with mental health concerns such as depression, anxiety, andsuicidal tendencies that can result in harmful behaviors, including excessive technology use and substance abuse. It is also associated with reduced productivity, creativity, and cognitive reasoning functions.

Loneliness also leads to multiple physical health issues, particularly in people 50 and over. It significantly increases the risk of premature death from all causes and leads to a 50% increased risk of dementia, a 29% increased risk of heart disease, and a 32% increased risk of stroke. Loneliness is also associated with increased rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide. 

10 ways to overcome loneliness

Loneliness is serious and permeating, but the good news is that you can combat it. Try out these tips to see which works most effectively when dealing with loneliness.

Notice your "negative" thoughts

Be aware of your thoughts as they come up, and learn to observe them without judgment. Remember that they are not truths but suggestions you have control over. Each time you think you will always feel alone or never find someone you connect with, allow these thoughts to drift away and think of something helpful instead. For example, remind yourself that "This feeling is not permanent" and "There are people out there who want to know and love me."

Build a network of strong connections

Over and over again, studies have emphasized that the key to a happy, long life is the quality of your relationships with other people. Put time and effort into the people closest to you by meeting with them regularly, asking them deep questions, celebrating significant life events, and being a good listener. The ones who are worth investing in will reciprocate.

Give back

Counterintuitive as it sounds, supporting others can help foster connection, build new relationships, and boost your overall mood. Offer to babysit for a friend or neighbor, seek opportunities to volunteer, ask if you can look after a friend's dog, or visit people in nursing homes.

Make your hobbies social

If you like reading, consider joining a local book club. Instead of exercising at the gym or at home, ask a friend if they want to work out with you. Or, even better, create a group of people with similar interests to connect with others with passions such as photography, writing, or language learning.

Seek the help of a professional

Talking to someone who understands and cares can help you feel significantly less lonely; therapy is an excellent way to do that. Not only can a licensed mental health professional give you the empathy you need, but they can also help you develop plans and implement ways in which you can ease the loneliness in your own life.

Get creative and show it

You may be unable to elaborate on your feelings, but you can express them creatively. Paint, write, dance, perform-find a way to interpret your experience through art. Showing others what you have created can spark and strengthen connection through mutuality and experience.

Show yourself kindness and compassion

While it is crucial to find acceptance and love from others, it is just as important to show it to yourself. This includes repeating positive affirmations to yourself, eating well, or treating yourself to something you have wanted for a long time. Investing in self-care is a powerful way of turning the feelings of loneliness into an opportunity to know and love yourself more.

Ask yourself the hard questions

There are many kinds of loneliness, and sometimes identifying what you are missing in your life can be the catalyst for change. Do you feel lonely because of a lack of quality friendships, or do you feel lonely because you miss the presence of a romantic partner? It is also essential to ask yourself if the people you have in your life now are the kinds of people you want to be like or, at the very least, are meeting some of your needs for care, intimacy, and trust.

You cannot underestimate the power of a hug

Physical touch can lower the body's stress response, help fight off inflammation, and release oxytocin in the brain. In other words, touch can strengthen your connections with other people and create intimacy while simultaneously easing feelings of isolation.

Come up with a plan. When loneliness hits, who are the people in your life that you can talk to? What activities can you do? What are the positive affirmations that you can repeat to yourself? Whether it is talking to a trusted friend, going to a yoga class, or reminding yourself that you are valuable and deserving of deep connection, it is worth coming up with a plan of action to get you through the lonely times.

Online therapy can help

If you’re dealing with loneliness and feel like you need more support, online therapy is a convenient and accessible way to connect with a qualified mental health professional. When you sign up, you’re matched with someone who is available to start helping you right away. Because you attend sessions from the comfort of your home or anywhere you have an internet connection, you don’t have to worry about a commute. Research shows that online therapy is effective; one review of 14 studies concluded that it’s just as effective as in-person sessions. If you want to learn more, take the next step with Regain.

Takeaway

Feeling isolated or lonely is a sign that your innate needs, including connection, intimacy, and experience, are not being met. It is important to remember that even though loneliness may feel incessant, it does not mean it will be this way forever. Rather than succumbing to feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy, see loneliness as a chance to build resiliency, create new connections in unexpected places, and as a challenge that you can and will overcome through persistence and patience.