How To Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up

There are times in romantic relationships where it feels like everything is too much, and you may wonder whether you and your significant other can make it through. Relationships can require a lot of work, and even the healthiest ones have some kind of conflict. Before breaking up with your partner, it can be important to assess whether your issues are repairable. In this article, we’ll be covering several different ways you can try to solve the problems in your relationship without having to part ways with one another.

Communicate with your partner

Healthy communication can be vital in any relationship. While it may be tempting to keep things to yourself to avoid fights, this can worsen things down the road. Couples who are honest with one another tend to have higher satisfaction in the relationship because they can work to meet one another’s needs. Asking your partner to sit down and talk about an issue with you can help both of you get to the bottom of it. If you’re having trouble communicating openly or one or both of you is getting defensive, couples therapy could be a helpful environment to open up to each other. 

Don't expect a particular outcome

You might want things to be a certain way, but this could be precisely what's holding your relationship back. There's no one right way for a relationship to be; what matters is that it's healthy for you and your partner, and that both people are happy. This can be subjective depending on the couple. There are things that you might need in a relationship that other people might not, and there are things that your partner might need in a connection that is exclusive to them as a person, but there's no "right" relationship." Part of fixing a relationship may be about letting go of what "should" be and embracing what is, staying in the present moment, and working with what your relationship has. If there are things that are missing that you think could help your relationship improve, discuss them with your partner.

Don’t compare and despair

You might look at other couples on social media and think: "why can't I be happy like those people?" However, you never know what happens behind closed doors. You don't know whether that couple is happy or not or whether they’re abusive toward one another. Therefore, try not to compare yourself to other couples. Even if they are happy, you can be satisfied, too, but your happiness is not predicated on other people's joy; it's exclusive to you. You and your partner likely have challenges that are unique to you, but these can often be worked out with the right tools, mindset, and support. 

Validate your partner's feelings

Everyone deserves to have their feelings acknowledged and validated. This can be important in friendships and romantic relationships. When you and your partner have an argument or disagree on something, tempers can rise, and harsh words may be exchanged. It can be crucial to hear what your partner has to say. Most people want a partner who cares about and acknowledges their feelings. Try not to be defensive and listen without judging them. Validation doesn’t mean you agree with their feelings, but rather that you see them and are there to support them.

Listen

Active listening can improve communication between couples and help them solve issues they’re facing. Instead of listening to respond, try to listen in order to understand. Many disagreements happen because each person doesn’t understand the other. By listening well, admitting when you’re wrong, and honoring how your partner feels, you can work as a team to solve problems together. This can be much more effective than viewing one another as the enemy.

Compromise matters

In a romantic relationship, disagreements happen. You might be confident that your stance on the issue is right. However, there are three stances in an argument: your position, your partner's opinion, and a compromise. When both of you listen to one another and try to compromise, you can make a positive change in your relationship when you're willing to meet your partner halfway in a disagreement. When you value your partner's viewpoint on something that matters, it builds trust, and trust can be a crucial part of an intimate relationship. It only takes a moment to let your partner know that you care, and it can make all the difference in future disagreements. You may not get your way on everything, and they won't get all the things that they want either. That's the nature of compromise in a relationship. 

Foster independence

Relying on people and things outside of your relationship can help it grow. Although you may be tempted, you don’t need to go to your partner for every need or problem. In fact, this can be unhealthy. If you're feeling anxious, for example, you can find ways to help yourself before turning to your partner. Fostering your own sense of independence through hobbies, friendships, and your own opinions can help you appreciate your partner more. It may also allow you to disagree without ending the relationship because you realize you can have your needs met elsewhere. 

Take space

Some couples spend so much time together that disagreements become more commonplace. Taking personal space can help each person sort out their thoughts and remember why they are in the relationship to begin with. As much as two people love one another, it can still be vital for a couple to have time apart. Focusing on hobbies, friends, and family can give the couple the rejuvenation they need to come back together with a clearer mindset. 

Get quality time in together

One of the most effective ways to improve a relationship is to spend quality time together. This is often how two people fall in love initially. You could participate in anything from watching TV to going on a hike or playing a board game. No matter what you choose to do, try to stay present in the moment and remember why you’re with your partner. The closer you and your partner are, the more effective you may be at navigating difficult conversations together.  

Try online counseling with Regain

Trying to save a relationship can be daunting, particularly when you feel you’ve tried everything in your power to turn things around. Sometimes, having a neutral party to serve as a mediator can be the answer to your relationship woes. In couples counseling through Regain, you can learn how to improve communication between you and your partner and seek to understand their perspective. Discussing sensitive issues may feel easier as you meet with your therapist from the comfort of your home or wherever else you feel at ease.

How to solve relationship problems without breaking up through online counseling

Couples experiencing relationship problems can benefit from online therapy. One study assessed the efficacy of an online program for couples and individuals with a variety of concerns. Researchers found that the intervention was effective in improving relationship satisfaction and reducing distress among participants. Reductions in anxiety and depression were also seen.

Counselor reviews

“Dr. Burklow literally saved our relationship. I was honestly ready to call it quits. We joined Regain approximately two months before our wedding: that was six months ago. Needless to say we are now husband and wife. Since then, we learned tolerance and acceptance, not only of each other, but of ourselves. We began feeling and behaving like teammates as opposed to opponents. Though we looked forward to our weekly Tuesday night video sessions we knew couples therapy was not meant to be long term. In the short amount of time, Dr. Burklow provided us with the necessary tools to deal with conflict and ensuring a successful and healthy union. Thank you again Dr. Burklow!”

“With Cassandra’s help, we’ve been able to bring our relationship to a new, healthier, and much happier level, working through painful situations, growing as individuals and as a couple, and with tools to stay on this path. She’s very responsive, and it has been great to have her facilitate our messaging through the app all week. I highly recommend Cassandra. She’s skilled, supportive, and down-to-earth. We feel totally comfortable with her.”

Takeaway

Every couple can experience problems that are unique to their relationship. The process of moving past these issues can look different depending on the individuals involved. In general, healthy communication, active listening, and compromise can be effective methods to get over certain obstacles standing in a couple’s way. When these things aren’t enough, online couples counseling can be another productive way to move forward.