How To Manage With Trust Issues In A Relationship

Trust issues are one of the most damaging things that can happen to a relationship. At the end of the day, if you and your partner cannot trust each other and talk openly, you may find that your relationship is standing on a very weak foundation. From trust issues spawn many other kinds of problems. If you hope to progress in a positive way in your relationship, you need to ensure that trust is not an issue.

Trust issues can break down relationships if not handled correctly; that's why we have created this guide to managing trust in a relationship. You and your partner can work together to ensure your relationship stands on solid ground.

What are trust issues in a relationship?

Trust issues are typically described as a lack of or an overabundance of trust in a relationship. Trust issues can be caused by a lack of , a lack of respect, and infidelity, along with many other causes. A lack of trust can stem from many things—such as being hurt in the past, adverse childhood experiences, a poor self-image, and more.

Some symptoms of trust issues can be a lack of general intimacy or friendship, feelings of anxiety about relationships with others, hesitancy to get close to others, and undue suspicion.

Find the source of the problem

The first thing you need to do when there is an issue with trust is to determine the cause of the problem. Typically, trust issues are a symptom of a deeper issue, whether stemming from your past (or your partner's) or a deeper problem within the relationship. Trust issues are not spontaneous and random; instead, they come from a source.

When you enter into a new relationship, you are both bound to bring in baggage, be it from past relationships, your upbringing, or from somewhere else. Regardless of where it comes from, this baggage may bring up personal trust issues, which can create problems within the relationship.

If you hope to get rid of trust issues more permanently, you need to do more than just cover up the symptoms—you need to find and work through the source of the problem. You can do this through self-reflection and introspection, open conversation with your partner, and by talking to a professional. If you find that the trust issues have stemmed from something outside the relationship, talking to a therapist can be a great way to work through a deep-seated issue.

Focus on yourself

Sometimes, the source of the problem doesn't stem from our partner's misdoings, but rather our own insecurities. In a relationship, both people involved should be striving to better themselves in all facets of their lives. Stagnation breeds dissatisfaction, and dissatisfaction brings trouble.

So, to avoid the problem of discontent and potential issues that may spring up out of this dissatisfaction—such as decisions which may challenge the trust of our partners—we need to make it a point to develop ourselves intentionally. Self-care is key.

Have new experiences, pick up new hobbies, challenge the mind—pursuits like these can build up the confident, capable parts of ourselves which can not only resist temptations to break trust but also help to turn us into more trusting and confident partners.

However, this solution is not an immediate way of dealing with serious trust issues; it is more of a prevention tool and a way of managing the underlying problems which lead to mistrust. So, do not try to distract yourself with self-development or other pursuits while there is still mistrust between you and your partner; there are more immediate and effective solutions to this situation.

Practice open and honest discussion

Everyone knows excellent communication is the key to a relationship's success. The more we bottle up and push down the minor problems in our relationship, the more we just delay the inevitable. By avoiding open communication about our issues, we handicap our relationship's ability to heal; even small problems need to be brought out into the light and resolved.

Think of it as a monster in the dark. When you were a child, you most likely sat up at night at least once and thought that there was a monster hiding somewhere in the house. Be it in your closet, beneath the bed, in the basement, etc. At first, you were slightly afraid to check, so you just tried to ignore it. However, the longer you avoided checking, the larger the fear grew.

If given space to grow, mild anxiety can turn into something daunting and impossible to face. This same thing can happen with problems in relationships. They might be minor annoyances at first like your partner shutting off their phone when you come into the room. These kinds of annoyances can build the more and more you don't face them. "Why did he shut off his phone?" turns into "Is he cheating on me?"

Now, this is not an excuse for you to go behind your partner's back and doubt them on everything. We are just saying that if you have a problem with something your partner is doing, and you are growing more and more anxious about it, bring it out into the light and face it head-on—don't hide it or let your suspicions grow unnecessarily.

The more you two can practice having open and honest discussions, the better you can become at stopping minor problems from escalating into big ones, and the more trust you will have in each other.

Work on your communication together

Alongside open and honest communication, ensuring that your communication is itself clear and respectful is vital to ensuring that your conversations with your partner are not counterproductive. 

The first step is to make sure you are listening to them, not just going through the motions of a heart-to-heart. Focusing on understanding them, rather than thinking about your response, is critical for both their confirmation that you are hearing them out and your actual comprehension of their side of the story. Secondly, eliminating distractions during conversations, both during deep conversations and during day-to-day talks, can increase the quality of your discussions and make them more meaningful.

One of the best things you can do for your relationship is not to neglect the importance of quality time. We so often get caught up in the busyness of our lives that we fail to dedicate enough time to our significant others. By scheduling date nights into your calendar or even just face-to-face time together, we can ensure that we don't lose connection with our partners, which is especially essential after you've been in a relationship long enough to develop a daily routine.

Give them the benefit of the doubt

It can be tempting to be suspicious around your partner if you have trust issues and suspect something is up—but this is the exact opposite of what you need to do to nourish your relationship properly. If you begin to suspect that you have an untrustworthy partner, give them the benefit of the doubt before trying to uncover some hidden plot

Occasionally, your interpretation of your partner's signals as a sign they are hiding something from you could just be an honest mistake. So, before trying to find out if they are lying, give them the benefit of the doubt and trust them first. Of course, you don't want to trust your partner always and no matter what, for trust can soon turn into purposeful ignorance.

We would recommend that you treat your partner as innocent till proven guilty. This may be a time for a non-confrontational conversation where you can try to get clarification on whatever you have a problem with. Think of the implications to your relationship if they find out you suspect them and they haven't done anything wrong, If there weren't trust issues before, there likely would be some now.

Work through trust issues in online couples therapy

Whoever says relationships are a breeze doesn't know what they are talking about., Even the most tight-knit couples have to face challenges of trust issues in their relationship. Strong relationships aren't supposed to be a breeze; they should challenge both partners to grow and improve the way they communicate.

But through this process, you may encounter times where it can be too challenging to face on your own—and that's okay. Sometimes we need someone to help lift the burden. 

It can be hard to find help when you're dealing with trouble in your relationship. Many people have found online therapy to be very helpful for dealing with issues such as mistrust between partners. Online therapy can be much more convenient than in-person therapy—and you can get help whenever and wherever you need it.

Here at Regain, we offer couples counseling and other services which can help you and your partner traverse the bumpy patches in your relationship. You may also find that talking to a therapist one-on-one works better for you. Either way, we've got you covered—you can meet alone, with your partner, or some of both. With a Regain therapist, you can figure out where trust may be lacking in your relationship and work on ways to gain that trust back.