How To Forgive A Cheating Husband And Start Rebuilding Your Marriage
Marriage involves making a commitment to one another, and when a partner steps outside of the marriage to fulfill any wants, desires, or needs, that vital trust can be broken. After cheating, you may choose to end the relationship, or you may decide that you want to forgive your husband and start rebuilding your marriage. If you have decided that you want to try to make the relationship work and are willing to work towards rebuilding a trusting and loving relationship, there are some things you can do to try to start the healing process and begin trusting your partner again.
Tips for forgiving a husband who cheated
Allow yourself to feel your emotions
Once you have discovered that your partner has cheated on you and broken your trust, you may experience a mix of intense emotions. You might feel angry, hurt, betrayed, frustrated, sad, hopeless, confused, and any number of other things. Whatever you’re feeling, try to acknowledge your emotions and allow them to exist. To help you process them, you could talk to a friend, write your thoughts down, or speak to a therapist. Feeling your emotions can be a key piece in processing this difficult situation.
Release negative emotions in a healthy way
Anger, pain, and confusion are very common emotions to experience after you have become privy to your partner's cheating. For many, the instant and most natural reaction might be anger and even a desire for revenge. However, this can hinder your ability to let go, forgive, heal, and move on. If you're experiencing any overwhelming negative emotion, try to let it out in a healthy, harmless way. You could try journaling, venting to a trusted person, meditating, deep breathing, and incorporating relaxation techniques.
Take the time you need to recover
If you are looking to forgive your partner, it's okay to need some space. Since saving a marriage or surviving infidelity means looking at the long-term instead of the immediate, it is often healthy to take some time apart to reflect on the situation, heal on your own terms, and process things on your own timeline. If this is something you need, try to communicate this to your partner, explaining why you need time away and when you might be ready to reconnect.
Communicate openly with your husband
It might be very difficult to communicate with someone who has hurt you, but it can be an essential part of moving past cheating in your marriage. Try to ask questions that you need answers to, and express your own feelings, needs, and boundaries moving forward. If you are choosing to move on together, you may decide that there should be some guidelines for how this topic comes up, if at all in the future. Make sure both of you are comfortable and happy with your boundaries and stick to them so you can rebuild a solid foundation.
Recognize that forgiveness is for you, too
It might seem like you are doing something good for your partner when you forgive him. While your forgiveness may help him and may be something he needs, forgiveness can also be very beneficial for you. The benefits of forgiveness can include improved mental health, improved self-esteem, less stress, and healthier relationships. Holding on to a grudge can be tempting, but offering forgiveness can be much more beneficial—and this can be true whether or not you want to rebuild the relationship. Even if you don’t want to stay together, forgiveness can be very positive for your own self.
Additional help is available
Finding out that your partner has cheated with another person can be extremely hurtful and damaging to your mental health. Forgiving your partner likely will not be an easy process. It will likely take hard work, dedication to your relationship, and patience.
If you would like support with this process, an online therapist can help. For some couples, you may decide to spend some time physically apart from each other after infidelity but still be interested in working on the relationship. In these cases, online therapy through Regain may be a great option, as you and your partner can join the therapy session from different locations.
And research has demonstrated the effectiveness of online therapy for couples with relationship concerns. For instance, one such study concluded that an online couples therapy program “was effective in significantly improving both relationship and individual functioning.”
Takeaway
Deciding to forgive your husband after cheating can be a very difficult decision, and it can be a long and challenging process as you both work to rebuild the relationship. If you have recently experienced infidelity and are trying to work through it, consider some of the tips above and for additional support, an online therapist can help.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
How long does it take to forgive a cheating husband?
There is no set timeline, and every relationship and situation will be different. But in many cases, it can take time to forgive a cheating husband. For some, this might happen more quickly than others, but it’s important that you feel comfortable with your decision before moving forward, so you can take the time you need.
Can a relationship go back to normal after someone has cheated?
A relationship can be rebuilt after someone has cheated. It will often take time and effort from both people in the relationship, but if both people are committed to making it work, recreating a strong and healthy relationship is certainly possible. If you’re currently dealing with this situation or have dealt with it in the past and want additional support to help you get through it, online therapy can help.
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