Is He Cheating On Me? Seven Signs That He Is Having An Affair

Being cheated on can be one of the most painful feelings in the world. You may even be tempted to believe that you’ve done something wrong. If your significant other is suddenly acting out of character, you might be concerned that your partner is cheating. While it can be important not to jump to conclusions, discovering why you feel this way can be equally as crucial. The following article contains seven different signs that could indicate that your boyfriend is cheating. If you notice any of them, it could be helpful to explore what they mean by openly communicating with your significant other. 

1. He isn’t acting like himself

Is your partner acting differently around you these days? When people are cheating on their significant others, they often feel guilty about it, which may cause them to withdraw or act in other unexplainable ways. Your partner’s guilt might be making him feel uneasy around you. He may be nervous that you are going to learn the truth, and he doesn’t want you to figure things out. Some people might even be worried about losing their significant other due to their infidelity, which can cause them to hold things in—including the truth.

If you notice that your partner is being skittish or irritable, it can be helpful to make a mental note of it. People’s behavior can often indicate what is going on in their lives. If he used to be an affectionate individual and suddenly isn’t anymore, that could be a sign of cheating. He might not even be able to look you in the eye any longer due to feeling shame for his actions. Of course, there could be other explanations for his behavior, which you can discuss with him when the time feels right. 

2. Changes to his look or style

Another thing to consider is whether your partner has changed his looks or style recently. Men often change their appearances when they’re trying to impress someone. Your significant other might have kept the same hairstyle for years and then suddenly showed up with a very trendy haircut one day. Or he may have started dressing differently or wearing a new cologne recently. This could raise a few red flags in your mind. If these changes don’t seem to be for your benefit, then it could be a sign that he has another lover in his life. He might be changing himself to try to appeal to this new person that he is seeing. If your partner didn’t seem like the type to take fashion very seriously before, then this isn’t likely normal behavior. You may take it as a potential sign that he might be having an affair.

3. Sexual changes

Sexual changes can also be an indication that something is off. You might have a partner with a very high sex drive. In the past, your partner might not have been able to keep his hands off you. If you suddenly find that he doesn’t seem to be interested in having sex, then he might be getting it elsewhere. He might feel guilty about having sex with both you and the new person in his life, leading him to avoid most sexual interaction with you at all. 

On the other hand, you may find that your partner suddenly has a higher sex drive than normal. They might initiate sex more often and you might even notice him using new techniques in bed. Where did he learn these techniques and why is he acting like such a different person in bed? Unless he has a good reason for these changes, it could be a sign that he has been experimenting sexually with someone else. 

4. Physical evidence of cheating

There may be certain physical signs of cheating that you start to pick up on. Perhaps there are lipstick marks, stray hairs, or smells of perfume on your partner’s clothing. Maybe you find handwritten notes, clothing that isn’t yours, or gifts that your significant other can’t explain. If you notice any of these things, it’s possible he could be having an affair. 

There are other physical signs of cheating that you may want to be aware of, too. For instance, when people have sex, they often leave behind marks on each other’s bodies. Aggressive and passionate kissing can lead to hickies or other types of physical indicators. You might notice scratches on his back or fingernail marks in odd places. Unusual bite marks on your partner’s body could be a powerful sign that something has been going on. Unless your significant other has a logical explanation for signs like these, it could indicate that he’s cheating. 

5. He never seems to have time to see you

If your partner seems to never have time for you, then it might feel like something is wrong. Does he spend significant amounts of time away from home even though you live together? Does he always have an excuse when you ask him why he can’t hang out? Issues like this can make it tough for you to feel like you’re in a healthy relationship and could point to the potential of infidelity.

Of course, there might be a logical reason why he has been so busy. Perhaps work is draining his energy, he’s planning a surprise party for you, or he’s trying to figure out a way to propose to you without you finding out. Even so, if you can combine this potential sign with some of the others on this list, it could be a strong indication of cheating. 

6. Sudden changes to his work schedule

Sudden changes to his work schedule might seem strange as well. If your partner never seemed to have to work late hours in the past, he could be lying. He might be saying that he has to work late or that he has no days off this week as a cover. It could be an elaborate way to try to hide the fact that he is seeing another lover on the side. This isn’t necessarily true, but you could try to find ways to explore whether he’s being truthful in this area. 

7. You keep catching him in lies

Do you keep catching your partner in lies? Perhaps you ask him where he’s at and he gives an answer that you later discover to be untrue. Maybe you question a charge on the credit card, and he can’t come up with a logical explanation. If he can’t seem to keep his stories straight, he may be trying to hide something from you. 

People can misspeak and make mistakes. However, when someone seems to be telling lies all the time, that is when it can start to become problematic. You might feel that your partner is trying to cover up what he is really doing. In that case, it can’t be important to ask questions regularly and remember the answers that he gives. Whether your partner turns out to be cheating on you or not, lying can still deeply affect a relationship in negative ways. 

Online counseling with Regain

If your significant other is cheating on you, it’s likely that you’re in a lot of pain, yet still might want to try to make things work. Getting over infidelity may not be simple, but you can work on fixing your relationship with the help of a dedicated online couples counselor. Regain is an online counseling platform that provides individual and couples counseling entirely online. You can receive support as you work through the experience of being cheated on and then come together with your partner to mend your relationship. A therapist can equip you with helpful coping skills, teach you both how to communicate more effectively and help you rebuild the trust that was broken in the relationship. Without ever needing to leave the house, you can restore your relationship to one that’s healthy and satisfying. 

The efficacy of online counseling 

Experiencing infidelity in your relationship can be highly stressful and emotionally taxing. If you need help coping with the emotions you’re feeling, online therapy could be beneficial. In one study, researchers assessed the efficacy of a 6-week internet-based stress management program on stress, coping skills, and sleep quality. The results of this study showed that participants experienced reduced emotional exhaustion, improved coping skills, higher sleep quality, and better overall well-being. Likewise, their stress levels also fell. 

Takeaway

Finding out that your significant other has been cheating on you can be disheartening. The grief and pain you may feel can be difficult to move through all on your own. If you need help processing your feelings and repairing your relationship, consider getting support from a licensed therapist.