10 Intimate Questions To Ask Your Girlfriend To Bring You Closer Together

When you have been in a relationship for a while, you might begin to notice that the frequent questions you asked each other at the beginning of the relationship are dwindling. You may feel like you’ve gotten to know each other well, so you don’t have as many questions for them daily. “How was your day?” can only get you so far. Having a list of possible questions can help. If you’re looking for creative ways to get to know each other even better and strengthen your connection with your girlfriend, you can take turns asking each other these ten questions on a date night, or use them as inspiration to come up with more of your own.

10 Questions to ask your girlfriend

What can you ask your girlfriend? These include:

If you could have anyone in the world as a dinner guest, who would it be?

This can be a great question to get you started. It’s an opportunity to be creative, interesting, and get the juices flowing. The dinner guest can be dead or still alive, and who your significant other chooses can open up a whole new conversation based on this interest. Why did they choose this person? What is it about them that they like so much? It can also give you insight into your significant other. The person they choose could make a lot of sense based on what you know of them. But the choice could also be way off from what you would have guessed; learning something new about them could make you feel closer to each other.

What would you say is your perfect day?

If you’ve been dating a while, this question you might already know the answer to. But it can still be fun to ask and watch as your significant other talks about their ideal day. Often, when people talk about the things they love, their eyes light up, and their joy spreads. You can learn so much by listening to them talk. Pay close attention to what they want to do, where they would go, what kind of foods they would eat, etc. You may not create the absolutely perfect day for them, but if you make a mental note of what they like, you can surprise them with bits and pieces to show your love and appreciation. 

What are you most grateful for?

To feel closer to your significant other, you can also find out what they’re most grateful for. Their answer can show you what they most cherish and enjoy about their life. They might even say that they’re grateful for you or for some aspect of your relationship. When you ask this question to your significant other, you can see what the first thing they think of is. It can give you a sense of where their priorities are and what matters to them in life.

Do you rehearse what you’re going to say before a phone call?

Here is another out-of-the-box question. You are essentially asking how they handle a mundane task. If they do rehearse what they’re going to say, why do they do it? Perhaps it is to overcome social anxiety. Maybe they only rehearse before super important phone calls that they don’t want to misspeak during. Or maybe they don’t rehearse, ever. What does that say about them? Can you tell based on their interactions with you what their answer will be? Questions like this may feel odd to ask at first, but it can give you a new angle from which to learn more about each other. 

How do you prefer to show and receive love and affection?

Talking about each other’s love languages can be a great way to open up a dialogue about intimacy and affection between the two of you. This may be an especially useful question for newer couples who are just learning each other’s preferences, but even couples who have been together for a while can use this question to spice things up or ask for what they need if they aren’t getting it. Do you prefer to receive love through words of affirmation, but your partner tends to express their love through acts of service? Using this question to jumpstart a conversation can help you both better understand each other’s preferences and needs. 

What did you think of me when you first saw me?

This can be a very fun question, as it allows you to revisit a memory together and learn about each other’s initial thoughts. No matter how you two met, you made some sort of impression on each other. It could be a funny story, a romantic story, or even a fairly mundane story—regardless, it somehow led to the two of you together now. Reminiscing on the early days can help you feel closer, and you might reflect on how far you’ve come to get to where you are now.

What are the qualities you most admire in a partner?

This might be an especially good question for couples in the earlier stages of their relationship, but it can still be helpful to couples who have been together for a long time. What does your partner admire in a significant other? Do they like having someone dependable? Do they like having company? Does the romance excite them? You may learn something new about where they place the most importance in a relationship. What is it that they expect of their partner, and does it match how you act towards them? This could be a good time to talk about each other’s needs and expectations in your relationship, and it may uncover ways to strengthen your connection. 

What do you think is your biggest failure?

This may seem like a hard question, but it can open up an insightful conversation. Failure is a part of life. Not every leap you make will get you to the other side unscathed. But the bumps, bruises, and heartache you face along the way can make you stronger and better. Asking about your partner’s biggest failure gives them a chance to talk about something they care about and the biggest lessons they learned through the failure. How is it that the failure made them into the person they are today? If they had to do it all over again, would they do it the same? What life lessons do they want to pass on to others as a response to that time in their life? You may see a side of your partner that you don’t often see. Talking about failures requires being vulnerable and open; if they answer the question honestly, it can show you how much they trust you, too.

Who is your favorite relative?

Family relationships can be tricky and complicated, but this question might help you open the door to talking about it more if your partner is comfortable answering. If family is important to your partner, you may see that clearly in their answer to this question. They could have one relative who was there for them more than others, or it could be hard to choose just one. If they do have a favorite relative, their answer may give you an idea of what they find important in relationships. Or perhaps they have complex relationships with their family members, so this is a difficult question to answer, but—if they feel comfortable sharing—this could be an opportunity to be vulnerable with you.  

What are some of your favorite hobbies?

How does your partner spend their free time? Do they like to read? Do they play sports? Are they into games or niche activities? They may have some hobbies that you aren’t aware of or hobbies you know about but don’t quite understand. What people do in their spare time can tell you a lot about them; it can tell you how they let loose, find joy, get creative, and recharge. Finding out more about what your partner is interested in can tell you more about their personality. Do they like crowds or small groups? Being outside or inside? Working with their hands or using their mind? Their hobbies can answer some of these types of questions.

Further help through online therapy

If you feel like you need more help communicating with your partner and strengthening your connection, you and your partner can meet with a licensed therapist online for support. Research has found online therapy to be effective at improving relationship satisfaction. 

For many couples with busy lives, it can feel difficult to find time for something like therapy, especially when you have to coordinate multiple schedules. With online therapy through Regain, you and your partner can meet with your therapist wherever you have internet, eliminating the need for a commute, which may make it easier to fit into hectic schedules. 

Counselor reviews

“My girlfriend and I have been working with Alison for about four months now and with her help and guidance we have strengthened our relationship tenfold. Her communication style is amazing and she really strives to make the best of our time with one another. If you’re looking for a counselor you can put your faith in with the whole experience, she’s the one to go to.”

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”

Takeaway

When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it can sometimes be hard to find new things to talk about and ways to discover new things about each other. These ten questions can help you to open up the lines of communication between yourself and your partner and strengthen your connection. For additional help in building intimacy, strengthening communication, and other relationship concerns, online therapy can help.