The Importance Of Building Intimacy In Marriage
Do you or your partner feel that your marriage needs more intimacy? In some marriages at times, one partner may feel that the relationship is lacking the intimacy they desire, while the other person doesn’t quite see the point. Some of this may stem from misunderstandings surrounding the idea of “intimacy,” so in this article, we’ll explore more about what intimacy means, and offer a few suggestions for how to cultivate greater intimacy in your relationship.
The role of intimacy in a marriage
Intimacy is largely about how close you feel to your partner. Being more intimate can help you value each other more, build trust, and strengthen your connection. In addition, having an intimate relationship can help you and your partner discuss what you need and what you think the relationship needs in healthy and productive ways.
When many people think of intimacy, they may immediately think of sex. While intimacy can include sex for some people, it doesn’t have to, and it also includes other types of intimacy besides sex. Intimacy refers to closeness, and it can include both physical closeness and a deeper psychological, emotional, or intellectual closeness.
Understanding what intimacy is generally is arguably less important than understanding what intimacy means to you and your partner specifically. Intimacy can look different from one couple to the next, so if you and your partner discuss intimacy, it may help to start by defining what intimacy means to both of you. This can help give you a clearer idea of what you're both talking about and your relationship needs.
Gauging intimacy
If you’re trying to assess the level of intimacy in your marriage, it may help to ask yourself some questions. When you and your partner are alone, what kinds of things do you like to do? What sorts of things do you talk about or feel comfortable talking about? Do feel comfortable and at ease around them? Do you feel physically connected to them, if that is important to you?
Another way to gauge intimacy can be whether you can talk to your partner. If you don't have enough or no intimacy in marriage at all with your partner, you may feel ashamed or afraid to tell them certain things. This can prevent you from expressing your needs and desires, keeping you from being fulfilled in your relationship and keeping your relationship from becoming stronger.
The need for intimacy
Different people have different intimacy needs. Lack of intimacy in marriage can be an issue to some. One partner may feel the need for more intimacy while the other one feels that their relationship is just fine. However, if one of you feels there is a problem, then that is something to address. In a healthy relationship, it’s important for both people to feel happy and satisfied.
If you are ready for more intimacy with your partner, you may want to start a conversation, express how you’re feeling, and ask how they’re feeling in return. That said, as you approach things, it can be important to be patient with them and make sure that you're not moving too fast for them or making them uncomfortable. Getting more intimate with someone can be difficult for some people, and you may need to give them time. Throughout this process, it is very important that everyone’s boundaries are respected.
Developing intimacy in your marriage
Now that we have explored the role of intimacy in a marriage, how can you and your partner develop more intimacy? Consider some of the ideas below:
Intimacy and sex
Because intimacy isn't just about sex, sex isn't the only way to build intimacy. But, if sex is an important part of your relationship, then you and your partner can consider trying to make it more intimate and using it as a way to build a deeper connection. There are many different ways you can do this, so it is up to you and your partner to determine what you both like, want, and are comfortable with here. For instance, some people find that the right music can help them make the experience more special, but others find it distracting. Some people find that playing games and similar approaches can increase intimacy, but others find it takes away from experience. Whatever you try, it can be important to keep communicating openly and honestly with each other to ensure you both feel comfortable. Having candid discussions about physical intimacy may also help you two to feel even closer.
Other forms of physical touch
There are also other forms of physical touch besides sexual touch that can be useful in cultivating intimacy. Again, it is very important to communicate and respect each other’s boundaries in regard to touch, but with that in mind, you can agree on various forms of touch to incorporate into your relationship. For instance, physical touch could include holding hands, cuddling, hugging, kissing, and even dancing. Different couples may enjoy incorporating different kinds of physical touch in different ways. For some, they might like making a point to hold hands on evening walks; others might like to snuggle on the couch after a long day; and others might enjoy touching each other’s shoulders whenever they pass each other.
Emotional intimacy
It is also possible to build intimacy entirely without touch, and this is where emotional intimacy comes in. Emotional intimacy is largely about communication. But general, vague communication isn't enough. Intimate communication is largely about depth. Rather than just talking about your days, the chores, and the logistics, consider talking about your lives, your hopes, your fears, your needs, and your wants. You can talk about how you grew up, why you were first attracted to each other, and why you're still attracted to each other. You can recount favorite moments together and envision times you’re excited about in the future. The key here is to open up to each other and allow your connection to deepen.
Help with intimacy
If you need support in figuring out how to cultivate intimacy in your relationship, an online couples counselor can help. A counselor can help you understand why intimacy is important and learn how to build it with your partner. In fact, research has demonstrated the effectiveness of online couples therapy for improving both relationship and individual functioning.
Discussing concerns related to intimacy can feel very personal, and some people may find it easier to discuss these topics in a space where they already feel comfortable, such as their own home. With online therapy through Regain, you can meet with a therapist wherever you have internet, including the comfort of your own home.
Takeaway
Intimacy can be very important in romantic relationships, and it can include both physical forms of intimacy and emotional intimacy. If you are looking for ways to cultivate more intimacy in your marriage, you can consider some of the suggestions above. For further support with intimacy and other relationship questions, you can connect with a licensed therapist online for support.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs):
What are the types of intimacy?
There are six main types of intimacy: physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, creative intimacy, and spiritual intimacy. The first form of intimacy, physical, involves physical human interaction and is key to a healthy marriage or relationship. Emotional intimacy is demonstrated through words and communication, as well as action. This form of intimacy involves trust and confidence in another person that goes beyond physicality. Intimacy in a relationship often requires this form of intimacy as well. Intellectual intimacy is when those in relationships their unique ideas to exchange thoughts or views. Learning to increase intimacy in the other types often involves intimacy and closeness of the mind with intellectual intimacy. Creative intimacy is shown by expressing oneself through passion, and experiential intimacy occurs when people common experiences. Finally, spiritual intimacy refers to the idea of values of a firmer belief, such as religious or spiritual views.
Can a marriage survive without intimacy?
A healthy marriage and happy marriage are bolstered and improved with the intimacy of all types. It doesn’t necessarily need all types, for example, one partner may be religious, and the other may not. However, physical and emotional intimacy is often considered the most important in a healthy marriage. Intimacy in a relationship, regardless of whether it’s a deep marriage or friendship, is important for human interaction and brain health. A marriage without intimacy can cause relationship issues like anger, infidelity, and isolation.
How important is intimacy in a marriage?
Cultivating intimacy and closeness in a relationship is important for a happy marriage. Whether it is emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, or another form, intimacy in marriage is incredibly important. In fact, intimacy emotional intimacy is often considered one of the most vital success factors in a relationship. Those who avoid intimacy may find it more difficult to maintain a healthy relationship, but learning to experience feelings with another person, whether physical or emotional intimacy, is possible. It’s important to find a treatment center that can help anybody learn how to cope with or experience intimacy so that marriage or other relationships can be healthier.
What are signs of intimacy issues?
There are a number of common signs of intimacy issues that can be used to determine if you or someone you know struggles with emotional intimacy or one of the other types. Those who have a history of unstable relationships, avoid intimacy or physical contact, have trust issues, experience episodes of anger, or have low self-esteem could exhibit these signs from intimacy issues. If you find your emotional intimacy is lacking, or one of the other types, feel free to find a treatment center near you to learn intimacy emotional intimacy. This can help with any of the above signs as well as general brain health. Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are important for a healthy relationship, as well as a healthy mind.
How do you develop intimacy?
If you find your emotional intimacy is lacking or that you experience feelings of discomfort or a general inability to act intimately, rest assured knowing it’s possible to learn how to develop intimacy. Intimacy and sexuality are often equated, but there are several different types of intimacy. Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are distinct, and a person may be capable of expressing one type but not another. In general, some tips for developing intimacy are to make it a point to show your appreciation for a person, set aside time for others, talk about how you view emotional intimacy and sexuality, show physical affection, and spend time focusing on others in relationships. Intimacy can be difficult, but anybody has the ability to learn how to become intimate.
What is the biggest barrier to marriage intimacy?
What causes lack of intimacy?
Why do couples stop being intimate?
What lack of intimacy does to a woman?
Can there be love without intimacy?
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