Love Addiction: Can You Be Addicted To A Person?
If you’ve ever been in love before, then you know how intoxicating it can be to spend time with someone that you’re enamored with, even at the detriment of mental health. Sometimes you want time to stand still when you’re with the person that you love the most in the world. This is a very beautiful feeling, and it’s something that everyone should experience at some point in life. However, it’s also possible that this could become a problem if you get too addicted to seeing this person.
Love addiction: Is it possible to be addicted to a person?
Is “love addiction,” or being addicted to a person, even possible? Yes, it is possible to become addicted to spending time with someone. Love and addiction are both powerful concepts, and many people experience this situation when they fall in love. It’s fine to feel that sense of addiction to your lover’s touch or think that it’s too long to be with them throughout the day. You just can’t let those feelings become so overpowering that you start to make bad decisions. Additionally, love addiction is a separate process from what is noted in those experiencing substance use, although there are parallels that may illustrate both concepts similarly.
If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.
There are many examples of addictive relationships. These sometimes lead to unhealthy behavior that can throw your life into turmoil. If this starts to happen, it can become a detriment to your overall quality of life. It can also harm your partner since you’ll be taking up a lot of their time and causing them to lose focus on other aspects of life.
Losing sleep
When you’ve become addicted to someone, it’s easy to try to spend as much time as possible with them. You might even wind up losing a significant amount of sleep due to your desires. This could involve you staying awake longer than you should while texting your new lover. It could also include situations where you’re staying up late with them too often due to regular romantic rendezvous. Consensual, enthusiastic, and safe sex is healthy, but you need to make sure that you’re getting enough rest as well.
If you focus too much time on enjoying your new relationship, other things will start to suffer. When you’re only getting a few hours of sleep each night, it’s going to take a toll on you. Eventually, you’ll find that you have less energy, and your performance at work will take a hit. Avoid situations like this and try to be responsible about spending time with your romantic partner.
Missing work
Of course, if you’ve been losing a lot of sleep, you might likely start missing work. If you are so addicted to your partner that you’re missing work to spend more time with them, then that’s a bad sign. Loving someone is fine, but being obsessed with them is generally unhealthy. This will lead to consequences in your life that you might not be prepared for, too.
For instance, if you forget to call into work, then you could wind up getting reprimanded. It’s even possible that you could get fired if you wind up missing too many days. Having your source of income interrupted is something that has the potential to ruin your life. Your relationship should be a positive thing, and you don’t want it to turn into something that is causing you harm.
Losing touch with friends
Spending an extreme amount of time with someone can also cause you to lose touch with others. Most people have several friends in their lives that they would count as important people. If you usually spend a couple of days per week hanging out with your friends, then they might find it strange when you suddenly stop. Your new boyfriend or girlfriend might start monopolizing your time, which could harm friendships that you hold close to your heart.
If you lose touch with friends, this gives you fewer people to turn to when you have problems. It’s also not fair to your friends since you should want to support them when they need you as well. This is why finding a balance is so crucial. These feelings of being addicted to your partner aren’t all that unusual, but this still doesn’t mean that they’re healthy. You have to showcase some willpower and try to maintain independence outside of your new relationship.
Losing sight of your life goals
Many people wind up losing sight of their goals when they become too addicted to a person. You might be so focused on pleasing your new girlfriend or boyfriend that you forget about some things that truly matter to you. For example, you might be working on a college degree to start the career of your dreams. Your career aspirations might fall by the wayside if you let your addiction to a certain person fully take over.
Your life goals are important, and they shouldn’t be cast aside because you fell in love with someone. Love is wonderful, and there is room for your new partner in your life. They just shouldn’t become your entire life. If your new girlfriend or boyfriend keeps you from realizing your goals or tries to keep you from your dreams, that isn’t a good sign.
Feeling anxiety, paranoia
You might even notice that you will start feeling anxious about your relationship. If you’re addicted to somebody, then what happens when you don’t hear from them for a while? Do you start to get worried or anxious about what they might be doing? Will you become paranoid that they’re cheating on you or looking for someone else?
If you’re so addicted to someone that you can’t get enough of them, then it isn’t a stretch of the imagination to say that you could become paranoid. Your new partner has their own life, though. Even if they do love spending time with you, there will be times when they will need space. If you feel extreme anxiety when you aren’t with your partner, this is bad for your well-being. It’s going to make it tough for you to function properly, and you might even try to force your partner into unhealthy habits due to feeling needy.
Try to find a good balance for your mental health
Finding a healthy balance in romantic relationships is of the utmost importance. You need to focus on other areas of your life outside of your addiction to a person. For this reason, you might need to take certain steps to break your addiction to the person in question. If you love this individual and want to continue the relationship, then this might be hard. Even so, you need to try to start balancing your life out so that things will work out in the end.
If your new lover cares for you, then they will be fine with giving you some space when you need it. They should also have their own life goals and aspirations. You are making sure that you each have a life outside of the relationship matters. When you do come together, you’ll be able to fully enjoy each other’s company without having to feel like the other aspects of your life are suffering. You can set up some rules to make sure that things go smoothly.
Set up days where you can see each other and spend a bit more time with one another than usual. You can communicate a bit by phone each day to touch base. This should allow you to feel close without having to spend every waking moment together. Just don’t go overboard with the texting since that can lead to many of the same problems mentioned above. Try to spend your week doing all of the things you need to do to live a healthy life.
Focus on your job and your important life goals. Don’t neglect your personal goals, such as physical fitness. Take time to participate in the hobbies that you love. Call your friends and make sure that you’re cultivating those important relationships as well. So long as you’re living a balanced life, your time spent with your new partner can be positive and healthy for you.
Consider going to couples therapy
If you and your partner struggle to find the right balance to make your relationship work, you should seek help. Online couples therapy is the perfect way to take care of issues like this. If you’re both addicted to one another and other aspects of your life are struggling, then a therapist will be able to help. These online counselors understand how to help you balance your life while still nurturing your relationship. They can also help address individual mental health concerns that may impact a relationship, like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or personality disorders.
Online therapy with licensed counselors
You can reach out to these online counselors whenever you would like to, and you’ll be able to go through therapy sessions from the comfort of your own home. It’s possible to attend therapy sessions together with your partner, or you can seek out individual sessions to work on personal problems. Either way, you’re going to find that these dedicated professionals are ready to help you move past your issues. In addition, online therapy has been found to deliver comparable levels of care and support as face-to-face therapy.
Frequently asked questions (FAQs)
Is it possible to get addicted to a person?
It is possible to get addicted to a person. In fact, an addiction to a person goes by a few other names: codependency, love addiction, and relationship addiction. However, not everyone knows what it means to be addicted to something or someone. Addictions are characterized by cravings, a loss of control regarding the substance (or person) in question, and significant harmful effects on other parts of your life. In contrast, healthy relationships do not have any of these characteristics.
While loving someone is wonderful, being addicted to someone doesn’t often lead to a happy relationship. By speaking with a mental healthcare professional, you’ll be able to identify your addictive behaviors, figure out if you have an addictive personality, and form healthy relationships going forward.
What does it mean to be addicted to someone?
Being addicted to someone goes by many names—codependent relationships are relationships where one or both parties are addicted. A love addiction or relationship addiction can also mean that you’re addicted to another person. Brain scans of those addicted to another person are similar to the brain scans of people addicted to substances.
If you’re addicted to someone, it’s likely that you’ll begin to lose sight of who you are because you’re so obsessed with the other person. An addiction is an addiction, regardless of if you’re addicted to a substance or a person. This means that other parts of your life may begin to decline because all your effort goes into making the other person happy. You’ll also have cravings for that person and think about them nonstop—your work may even suffer due to not being able to concentrate since the person you’re addicted to is always on your mind.
Luckily, addiction to a person is not a life sentence, and it’s possible to change, although addiction can have a huge impact on your life. A therapist can help you work through your addiction, explain what it means to be addicted and teach you how to transform your relationship into a healthier one with appropriate boundaries and romantic love.
What causes addictive tendencies like addiction to a person?
Being addicted to a person is similar to being addicted to a substance. There are rewards, such as feelings of romantic love and acceptance, but there are usually drawbacks. These rewards are what a person becomes addicted to. They crave the feelings of romantic love and support that the other person gives them. Sometimes, being addicted to people can correlate with personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder, characterized by attempts to avoid real or perceived abandonment, among other criteria.
Young adults are particularly susceptible to becoming dependent on relationships and entering into codependent relationships. This is especially true for young adults who have only seen codependent relationships rather than healthy romantic love. The examples of love you see as a young adult have a huge impact on your life, and the way your parents treat you may result in you developing an addictive personality.
There is a difference between loving someone (healthy) and being addicted to someone (unhealthy). If you feel that addiction is taking over your life, or if you aren’t sure whether your relationships are healthy, it can be very helpful to speak with a therapist to work through your feelings and identify ways to improve your relationships.
What is the difference between love and addiction?
The difference between romantic love and love addiction is that love is mostly a choice, whereas addiction involves a need to be dependent on relationships. If you’re addicted to a person, you need them to feel complete. Meanwhile, if you love a person, you know that you are whole regardless of whether or not you have a partner. When you’re addicted to someone, your entire life is likely to revolve around the relationship, causing other parts of your life to suffer. However, if you love someone, the relationship actually works to enhance the other parts of your life.
Aside from therapy, how do I get rid of my addiction?
Addiction can be extremely challenging, especially if you have an addictive personality, but it’s possible to get rid of your addiction and live a much happier life. As you’ve probably heard before, the first step to beating an addiction recognize that you have a problem. Until you realize the harm your addiction has done to your life, you won’t be able to move past it. In addition, consider adding exercise, self-care, and fun hobbies to your life. These are all great ways to release endorphins and improve your mood naturally without having to turn to your addiction for a pick-me-up.
Next, it’s important to find a sponsor, friend, or family member who can hold you accountable. You’re much more likely to succeed if you have someone else checking in on you regularly. As you work to beat your addiction, you can use CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) techniques to reframe your thoughts surrounding your addiction. A therapist, a 12-step program, or even a rehab facility can be very helpful if you’re not confident that you can get through the process alone.
What is it called when you're addicted to a person?
When you're addicted to a person, it's often called "love addiction" or "emotional dependency." It means you're overly attached to someone in a way that feels like you need them for your emotional stability. Love addiction goes beyond just enjoying someone's company—it's when you start feeling like you can't be happy or whole without them. You might find yourself constantly seeking their approval, needing to be with them all the time, or feeling panicked at the thought of losing them. This intense attachment can make it difficult to maintain a healthy balance in your life, often leading to unhealthy behaviors and thoughts.
Is being addicted to someone normal?
It's not exactly "normal," but it's more common than people think. Love and relationships can trigger powerful emotions, and sometimes, that emotional attachment becomes so intense that it borders on addiction. It's natural to feel strong emotions when you're in love, but it becomes unhealthy when those feelings turn into a need that takes over your life. You might start neglecting your responsibilities, friends, or hobbies and feel your happiness depends on this person. Recognizing this shift from healthy love to dependency is crucial, as it can start affecting your mental health and overall well-being if left unchecked.
Is love an addiction, and what happens in the brain when you're addicted to a person?
Love can sometimes feel like an addiction because the brain releases chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, making you feel amazing when you're with that person. The brain processes love in a similar way it does with addictive substances—those feel-good chemicals create a high that you want to keep experiencing. When you're addicted to someone, your brain craves that rush of pleasure and comfort they provide. You may feel euphoric when things are going well but also experience withdrawal symptoms—such as anxiety, sadness, or even physical discomfort—when they're not around. This cycle of highs and lows can be exhausting, much like an actual substance addiction, because your brain is wired to want more of those positive feelings.
Why do we get addicted to people?
We get addicted to people because of the intense feelings of pleasure and comfort they give us. Often, it stems from unmet emotional needs, past wounds, or insecurities. If someone makes us feel loved, validated, and understood, we can easily become hooked on that feeling—especially if it's something we've been craving for a long time. It's easy to get lost in the connection and the emotions that come with it, and sometimes, we start to rely on that person for our happiness or self-worth. This kind of dependency can be comforting initially, but over time, it can create an unhealthy attachment where you feel like you can't live without it.
What are the signs of an addictive relationship?
Signs of an addictive relationship include feeling like you can't function without the other person, losing interest in other parts of your life, constantly needing reassurance, and experiencing extreme highs and lows in your emotions. You may also notice that you're always compromising your needs to keep the other person happy or that you feel anxious or panicked when you're apart. If your mood depends entirely on whether they're giving you attention or affection, it's a sign that the relationship has crossed into unhealthy territory. You might also isolate yourself from friends and family or become overly jealous or possessive, which further shows that the relationship isn't balanced.
What are mental health disorders in the brain that can develop when you're addicted to a person?
Being addicted to a person can lead to issues like anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive tendencies. The constant need for reassurance and fear of losing that person can put your mind under a lot of stress. It becomes hard to focus on anything else because your thoughts are always revolving around this person—what they're doing, how they feel about you, or if they're going to leave. This can lead to overwhelming feelings of anxiety and eventually spiral into depression, especially if the relationship ends or if you're not getting the validation you crave. Obsessive thinking is also common, as your brain fixates on keeping that connection at all costs.
Are you addicted to someone if you're having obsessive thoughts about him?
If you're constantly thinking about someone to the point that it interferes with your daily life, it could be a sign of emotional dependency or love addiction. Obsessive thoughts about someone mean that you're placing too much focus on that person, often to the detriment of your own well-being. You might find it hard to concentrate on work, hobbies, or other relationships because your mind is always on them. It's important to recognize that these obsessive thoughts are not healthy, and they can be a red flag that your attachment to this person has become more of an addiction than genuine love.
What are the most common behaviors of a person who has a love addiction or is addicted to someone?
People with love addiction might obsess over their partner, become overly needy, and sacrifice their own needs to keep the relationship going. They often put their partner's wants and desires above their own, even if it means neglecting themselves. They may also try to control the relationship, fearing that if they don't, they will lose their partner. This behavior can look like constantly checking in on their partner, being overly jealous, or always needing reassurance. They might also struggle to let go, even when the relationship is clearly unhealthy or when the other person wants to end it. This kind of attachment is draining and can lead to a lot of emotional pain.
How do you withdraw from a person's addictive tendencies?
The first step is recognizing that the attachment is unhealthy. Once you acknowledge that, it's important to start setting boundaries, both physically and emotionally. Reconnect with yourself by focusing on your interests, spending time with supportive friends and family, and practicing self-care. Seeking professional help, like a therapist, can also be beneficial in understanding why you've formed this attachment and learning healthier ways to cope. Distancing yourself from the person, even if it's hard, is crucial—try reducing contact gradually if going cold turkey is too overwhelming. Finding other sources of happiness and fulfillment, such as hobbies, work, or new relationships, can help break the cycle.
What are the worst outcomes of someone who is addicted to a person?
The worst outcomes include losing your sense of self, staying in a toxic or even abusive relationship, and experiencing severe anxiety or depression. You might find yourself compromising your values, abandoning your dreams, or isolating yourself from friends and family to keep the relationship intact. This can lead to a loss of identity, where you no longer know who you are without that person. In more extreme cases, staying in an addictive relationship can lead to emotional or even physical abuse. The constant emotional roller coaster can also wreak havoc on your mental health, leaving you feeling empty, lost, and unable to function properly without the other person.
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