“I Love My Life”: How To Build A Happier Life

To many, happiness is not an indulgence, it is an important part of living a satisfying life. Happiness can improve wellbeing, with research demonstrating that it improves relationships, productivity, healthy behaviors, immune function, and predicts longer life expectancies. If you’re not content with your overall wellbeing, there are ways you can increase your happiness. For example, you can try practicing gratitude, engaging in activities you enjoy, spending more time outside, or talking with a therapist.

What is happiness, and how is it measured?

Happiness is an emotional state characterized by life satisfaction, sense of meaning, fulfillment, joy, positive wellbeing, and contentment. Though happiness is a subjective emotion, most people use it to describe positive feelings and satisfaction in the short or long term. 

Happiness can be broken down into two separate components: 

• Emotional balance: While happy people experience both positive and negative emotions, they tend to experience more positive emotions, moods, and feelings compared with negative ones. 
• Life satisfaction: People who are happy tend to feel content with things that they consider important, such as relationships, work, and personal achievements. 

In psychology, happiness is referred to as “subjective well-being,” which is usually measured by scoring answers to the following types of questions on a 7-point scale (Strongly Disagree (1) to Strongly Agree (7)): 

• “In most ways my life is close to ideal.”
• “I am satisfied with my life.”
• “The conditions of my life are excellent.”
• “So far, I have gotten the important things I want in life.”
• “If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing.”

When evaluated together, research supports that these questions are accurate estimates of overall happiness. 

Why happiness matters

Some people believe that happiness is self-indulgent or less important than life goals, like educational attainment or career aspirations. However, happiness is associated with many positive outcomes, including the following: 

• Improved immune function
• Broadened perspective and improved creativity
• Avoided or well-managed heart attacks, stroke, depression, and diabetes
• Increased healthy behavior choice, and reduced risky behaviors
• Improved networks of supportive friends
• Higher resilience to stressors 
• Improved productivity
• Healthier blood pressure
• Reduced perception of pain
• Longer life expectancies, on average

People with higher self-rated happiness tend to experience improved mental health, physical health, and life expectancy. Improving your level of happiness can have meaningful implications for your quality of life. 

What makes people happy?

People with high subjective well-being tend to have the following: 

• Close relationships: Researchers at Harvard began a longitudinal study of 268 college-aged students in 1938 and have been following up with them (and their offspring) ever since to assess what made people happy. Moreso than money or career success, they found that strong close relationships make people happy, reduce mental decline, and predict longer life expectancies. According to Dr. Robert Waldinger, psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and director of the study, “Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.”
• Pleasure: Pleasure can increase joy and reduce the perception of pain. Pleasure can be a form of self-care that is typically obtained from positive sensory stimulation including eating good food, listening to music, or sensual touch. 
• Engagement: Being fully engaged in an activity can reduce self-consciousness and allow us to become deeply absorbed in them (called “flow”). 
• Accomplishment: Accomplishment can add meaning to life as we pursue advancement and mastery of activities that interest us. 
• Meaning: Meaning can give us purpose beyond ourselves.

How can we become happier? Learning how to build a happier life

According to Dr. Laura Kubzansky, Harvard Professor of Social and Behavioral Sciences, 40-50% of happiness is genetically inherited, on average. The rest of happiness is determined by a combination of life circumstances and intentional activities. That means, when it comes to cultivating a happier life, our choices matter. The following advice can help you build a happier, more fulfilling life: 

Pursue activities that matter to you 

Try avoiding the pressure, guilt, or expectation of others when you’re deciding on a new activity to pursue. Studies show that activities provide the most benefits when they’re engaged in for longer periods of time. To find activities that you’ll stick with, pick ones that fit your interests, are enjoyable, and align with your values. 

Spend time outdoors 

According to the American Psychological Association, spending time outside is linked to improved attention span, lower stress levels, more positive moods, reduced risk of depression and anxiety, and increased empathy. Researchers are still determining a specific recommendation for how much time outside is required to achieve these health benefits, but so far they’ve found that people who spend at least 2 recreational hours per week outdoors experience improved well-being. 

Discover the type of happiness you want to increase

In the field of philosophy, happiness is often divided into two subsets: “hedonia” and “eudaimonia.”Hedonia is happiness that is gained from things that feel good, such as enjoying a good meal or traveling. Eudaimonia is happiness that is found from meaning and virtue, such as volunteering or achieving work goals. Both high hedonic and eudaimonic well-being predict higher self-rated happiness. 

If you routinely engage in self-care, you may want to focus on your eudaimonic well-being. Try volunteering for a cause you care about or focusing on your long-term goals. If, on the other hand, you spend most of your energy caring for others, you could center your hedonic well-being by going on a relaxing walk or listening to your favorite music.   

Know that it’s okay if you’re not always happy

As stated by Penny Locaso in Harvard Business Review, ““Happiness” is not a destination. It’s a state of mind, and you don’t need to be in it every moment of every day.” Everyone, including happy people, experiences a spectrum of positive and negative emotions. However, if you’re routinely experiencing more negative than positive emotions, it may be helpful to reach out to a therapist. 

Center gratitude

Gratitude, appreciation, and thankfulness can increase positive thinking and overall wellbeing. You can practice being thankful in many different ways, from gratitude journaling to expressing appreciation through acts of kindness.    

Reframe negative thoughts 

In some ways, negative thinking acts as an evolutionary adaptation. It can help us remember and learn from bad situations, so we avoid repeating them in the future. However, frequent negative self-talk can disrupt our emotional balance and contribute to low self-esteem. 

To rework your negative thoughts, try acknowledging them when they occur, questioning the accuracy of your automatic negative thoughts, intentionally reframing them to be more positive, and giving yourself gentle advice the way you would for a good friend.

Prioritize a healthy lifestyle

Consuming a nutritious diet, limiting alcohol and drug use, incorporating moderate exercise, practicing mindfulness or stress reduction techniques, and getting enough quality sleep can effectively improve mental health and resilience. 

Mix up your routine 

Research shows that adding variety to your daily routine can help you gain the most mental health benefits. For example, if you do the same yoga routine every morning in your living room, try swapping in a few new movements, attending an exercise class instead, or practicing yoga in the park. 

Spend quality time with loved ones

According to one study, social relationships can increase life satisfaction. The researchers found that people who have greater life satisfaction tend to have stronger, more emotionally intimate friendships. If you’re finding it challenging to make friends, consider asking an acquaintance to grab a coffee, or reaching out to old friends. A study out of the University of Kansas found that time is the biggest factor in making a new friend, with it taking approximately 200 hours of socializing for most acquaintances to become close friends.

How a therapist can help you cultivate happiness

If you’re finding it difficult to achieve emotional balance and/or you don’t feel satisfied with where you are in life, you may want to talk with a professional. A licensed therapist can help you improve your happiness and overall well-being. Studies consistently find that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can reduce symptoms of depression and improve overall happiness and life satisfaction. 

Learning how to build a happier life with online therapy

For many people, online therapy is more convenient than in-person therapy. And it’s still effective. A 2014 study found that online CBT can effectively improve eudemonic well-being in many people. Online therapy platforms like Regain offer rates that are comparable with many insurance co-pays, and people are typically matched with a licensed therapist within 24-48 hours. 

Takeaway

Happiness is an emotional state encompassing both life satisfaction and emotional balance. Though around 60% of happiness is derived from genetics and life circumstances, the rest is thought to come from intentional activities (such as thought patterns and behaviors). Many people can become happier by reworking negative thoughts and adjusting behaviors. 

You can increase your happiness by doing things like spending time outside, exercising, socializing, volunteering, addressing negative self-talk, and reducing repetitiveness in your routine. If you’d like some help, you can reach out to a therapist. Research shows that online cognitive behavioral therapy can effectively improve quality of life, symptoms of depression, and happiness for many people.