The Love Hangover: Does it Exist?

Sometimes after a night of intense drinking and high-energy partying, a person can wake up feeling very sick and unhappy. 

For many, love can be the same way. Some say that love can blind you and makes you do silly things, just like alcohol. Also like alcohol, love can have a hangover effect that can last a good while, and in this post, we'll talk about it.

What is a love hangover?

A love hangover can be defined in three ways:

• After someone leaves you, you can’t stop thinking about them.

• Even if someone treated you poorly, you’re still in love with them.

• You find it very difficult to move on and develop feelings for new people.

Sometimes, a love hangover can be terrible and one you wish to get over, but other times, it can be a good feeling. It's almost like a dreamlike state of euphoria. In 1976, Diana Ross wrote a song, appropriately called "Love Hangover," that describes this phenomenon. The lyrics begin with: "If there's a cure for this/I don't want it If there's a remedy/I'll run from it." Sometimes, your ex can give you a nostalgic feeling, and even though you know you should move on, maybe you don't want to.

Love hangovers and DABDA

You may feel a slew of emotions whenever you go through a love hangover, just like you might with a normal hangover. One range of emotions you may feel is the famous DABDA, which can also describe the grieving process. Let's go one letter at a time, keeping in mind that grieving looks different for everyone.

Denial

This is when you can't believe that the relationship is over. Everything might feel like a joke that life is pulling on you. However, regardless of denial, the breakup did happen. The same thing can happen with a hangover. You may not remember everything that happened last night, and once you learn, you may want to deny it.

Anger

Being angry is an emotion that can be quite strong after the end of a hangover. You may feel angry at the person who left you or angry at yourself. You may feel angry at the world itself or just angry at those who aren't even involved. Anger can occur during a real hangover as well. If you feel sick, everything can become an irritant. Be mindful and try not to take your anger out on those who don't deserve it.

Bargaining

During a love hangover, you may try to bargain. One example might be contacting your ex and agreeing to continue the relationship. Even if they said it's over for good, you might feel like you can change their mind if you say the right words.

Bargaining is prevalent in hangovers as well. You may bargain with your body to feel better by eating greasy food, taking medicine, or you may bargain with those you were with if you did something wrong. Just know that oftentimes, your bargaining may not work, or it could make the problem worse.

Depression

Depression can come next in a love hangover. You may feel upset that you lost your love, and you might begin to grieve. You may feel like your world is crashing down and you may try to isolate yourself.

A real hangover can make you have depressive thoughts as well. For example, if you did something you now regret last night, you may feel depressed as a result.

Acceptance

Finally, you can move on from your love hangover. In a real hangover, the feelings can pass as your body rids itself of all the toxins. In a love hangover, your brain can rid itself of all the feelings of a relationship, and you may feel so much better for it afterward.

Like a real hangover, the amount of time it will take can differ depending on the person. Some people can quickly get over a love hangover, while others may feel it linger for a long time.

How to speed up the recovery process

If you're experiencing a love hangover, you may wonder how you can reduce its intensity and move on with your life. Here are a few ways you can do it.

• First, don't force yourself to get over it. With a real hangover, forcing yourself to get over it can make the symptoms worse. The same can be true with a love hangover. If you're trying not to think about your ex, you might think about them more. If you force yourself not to feel something, your emotions might bottle up until you turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. 

• Don't be afraid to unleash your emotions reasonably, of course. It's okay to cry and express your emotions in some way. Of course, don't release your emotions in an unhealthy manner. Don't turn to drugs, get violent, or be around people who can worsen your emotions.

• Talk to someone. Your friends may be able to empathize, or you can express your emotions online. Most people have gone through some form of love hangover, and they should be able to give you advice and help you gather the strength to move on.

• Forgive. First, forgive your ex. Don’t forget what they did, but realize it now holds no power over you, and you should not hold a grudge in your heart. 

• Look at yourself, too. If you messed up, forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, and don’t be too hard on yourself. Apply critical though to yourself and your actions, but not too harshly. Be mindful of what you do in the next relationship.

• Try dating other people, but don't date too soon after the relationship ends. If that happens, you may end up in a rebound. Instead, date whenever you feel you're ready, which can help you replace that empty void in your life.

A love hangover is just another term for heartbreak when you get down to it. It’s the grief you experience whenever you're ending a relationship. In many situations, the breakup may be more appropriate to compare to a hangover than a heartbreak, especially if the relationship was chaotic and felt like a wild night partying. 

Relationship support is available online

In some cases, your love hangover may last longer than you want to. Many get hung up on their emotions and might not know when to move on. While some people may grieve more than others, there comes the point where the fixation might be unhealthy. What can you do in this situation, especially if you've tried to follow the advice we've given?

One way you can do this is to seek counseling. There may be more to your grief than just a love hangover. There could be some past trauma you may not know about, or you may have an undiagnosed mental illness. A therapist can look at your situation and your personality and teach you coping strategies to move on and reach goals to help you improve your life. With online counseling, compared to traditional, in-person counseling, you have a few perks as well. First, online therapy is more affordable. It’s also more available for people in remote locations. Most importantly, online therapy works! Studies show that 95% of couples who engage in online counseling feel their relationship has been helped by the process.