Familial Love, Romantic Love, And Beyond: Understanding Types Of Love
While romantic love may be the most frequently depicted form of love in the media, there are, in reality, upwards of seven different types of love and ways to categorize this emotion. Understanding these different forms of love can help you recognize any potential deficits in the way you approach love so that you can rectify them.
These seven types of love were originally named by the ancient Greeks, so we will be naming each type of love after its description in English.
Understanding types of love
Self-love (philautia)
If you don't love yourself and have self-esteem, self-confidence, and belief in yourself, then it can affect the wellbeing of your other loving relationships. In fact, studies demonstrate that there is a close connection between your mental health and the quality of your romantic relationships.
Self-love can involve having a healthy sense of your importance, capabilities, status, and more. It can mean that you believe in yourself and your ability to accomplish things but don't think of yourself as being above anyone else or better than anyone.
Practical love (pragma)
This form of love may develop or occurs because it is comfortable. You may feel a Pragma form of love for someone who you've been around a lot and who shares the same goals as you, has similar or preferential qualities, or who is very compatible with you.
This is a kind of love that may frequently exist in arranged marriages, in which the couples may come to care for one another but not necessarily fall into what we would consider a passionate kind of love.
This kind of love can help couples to make it through difficult times. Perhaps you’ve heard couples say that they 'just don't love each other anymore.' In reality, many of these couples might not have anything in common with each other anymore because they haven’t been nurturing their ‘pragma’ love.
Uncommitted love (ludus)
With this type of love, you might be engaging in a little more fun. It can be about just getting out there and enjoying yourself with a partner rather than looking for anything too serious. You might flirt, seduce, or do anything else in a non-committal way. You might be looking to spend a little while with someone, which could be a one-night stand, or it could be a short-term relationship that you don't expect to last. Ludus can turn into more, but it doesn't always.
Universal love (agape)
The love you have for the world around you, your belief in God, or just all the people who exist (even the ones you don't know) is considered universal love. It's not necessarily the same personal love you might feel for your friends and family. Instead, it's an altruistic type of love that can lead you to do things for other people for no reason other than to help those people. It can be about doing something nice and just enjoying what you can do for others.
Familial love (storge)
The love that you feel for your family can be an important part of your overall psyche as well. It can be a kind of love based only on being familiar with the person or being dependent on them. Storge, by definition, has absolutely nothing to do with the traits the object of your affection has (good or bad), their overall personality, or anything else about them. You feel the way that you feel because they are there. We might feel it by instinct without ever having to force it or seek it out.
However, you may want to make sure that you don't allow your relationship to get to the point where this is the only kind of love you are receiving.
Friendly love (philia)
This phrase is how Philadelphia got its name: “The City of Brotherly Love.”
Philia represents a level of companionship and trust with this person. It's a sign of goodwill and a sign that you care for this person greatly. Not just any friend will be the recipient of this kind of love, but friends you are close to and with whom you share common ground with you in many ways. Phiia can also be an important aspect of long-term romantic relationships.
Many people might not realize how important this kind of love is in a marriage or long-term relationship. However, when you see couples who have been together for years and are still very close, this is one of the areas they are likely strong in. Couples who enjoy doing hobbies and activities together, laughing together, and being friends, as well as lovers, are likely setting themselves up for the long haul.
Romantic love (eros)
Though we generally think of passion as sexual, this kind of love is not solely about sex. It's about feeling a strong kind of love toward another person with a sexual component, but that's not all there is to it. This kind of love can be blind, it can be overwhelming, and it can be without judgment. Someone who experiences passionate love may be entirely uncaring about their partner's faults, but it can also be a very important kind of love for your life.
If you aren't careful and follow this kind of love, it can get you into relationships that you might not want to be in. Passionate love can be important for the success of long-term relationships; however, a relationship shouldn’t be based on passion alone.
How different types of love can benefit a relationship
Relationships that can stand the test of time can do it typically because they mix different kinds of love. Happy couples don't have relationships that are just built on passion or practicality or friendship. Instead, couples who are happy together can tap into multiple different kinds of love to stay together. There are some times when one form of love may be a little stronger than the others.
Learn healthy forms of love in online therapy
One way that you can find the mental health help that you're looking for could be with Regain. This online service can allow you to connect with a professional from anywhere with an internet connection. You log on and set up your account, and you can choose the professional you want to talk with, finding someone you'll be most comfortable with no matter where they may be located.
The benefits of online therapy in understanding types of love
Online therapy has that perk of convenience and accessibility, even if you have a physical limitation or live in a rural, remote area. Another added benefit of online therapy is its affordability. And if you worry about the effectiveness of online therapy, rest assured that studies show that online therapy is just effective and sometimes even more effective than in-person therapy when it comes to treating a wide array of mental health concerns.
Takeaway
If you have difficulties experiencing love with any partner, whether sexual or otherwise, seek a mental health professional's help. They can help you work through anything that you might be experiencing, from difficulty with a mental disorder (such as anxiety or depression) or anything that you might be wondering about. Learning what love is, how to show it, and how to accept it can be an important part of your life, and it's something that you should seek help with if you find yourself worried about the role of love in your life.
If you find yourself in a struggling relationship, it doesn't mean that it's time to call it quits. No relationship is perfect, and to stand the test of time, learn how to move and grow through the different stages of love.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Can you be too cute?
Those who often receive the word “cute” as a compliment, especially from an intimate partner in a long-term relationship or even from kids, may find it frustrating and wonder if that’s the only way others perceive them. To many people, there is a distinct difference between words like “cute” and “sexy” or “beautiful,” but to others, there may not be.
If you’re concerned about feeling too cute or that you can only be cute, it may be helpful to have an open discussion about it with your partner. Expressing how you feel when you hear these words can help your partner or others understand how to support better and compliment you. In fact, your partner might not even realize that they’re doing anything hurtful. Some people might enjoy being called cute, while others could prefer a differently worded compliment.
What does “too cute” mean?
Being called “too cute” could mean exactly what the words imply: something is very cute, to the point that it’s almost overwhelming or too much to handle. Sometimes “too” as a modifier means “very,” like thinking a comedian’s jokes are so hilarious they are “just too funny.” This sort of phrase is often used casually among friends, loved ones, and partners, but it can feel like a backhanded compliment or sarcasm for some.
Skin makeup and hair and clothes are ways we express ourselves, but others can be perceived differently. For some people, words like “cute” and “adorable” can make them feel uncomfortable. Someone who feels like they’re only “cute” rather than “sexy” may have difficulty with self-confidence during sex and their relationship. However, scheduling a weekly date night or trying some role play might help.
If you’d like to strengthen your sexual connection with your partner, feel more sexually attractive, and spice up your relationship as a whole, there are ways to do so. However, the likely first step to help you spice up your relationship is an important one: communicate with your partner.
Whether you’re looking to spice up your sex life or your relationship, communication is key. For one thing, your partner may need you to communicate that you feel these things are lacking in the first place. The more you communicate honestly with your partner, the more conflicts and challenges you can tackle. Ensure everyone is comfortable before taking anything to the next level.
If you still are unsure how to spice up your relationship after talking it through with your partner, you might find it helpful to visit a relationship and sex educator, a counselor, or another similar professional. A sex educator or relationship counselor can help you better understand your own sexual preferences, any issues that might exist, and how to overcome them. If you are not comfortable going to a personal sex therapist, you could research many valid online resources. Radio shows like Sex With Emily or online blogs and articles can spark ideas for your own relationship.
What do you say when something is too cute?
If you feel like something is too cute, how you express it really depends on the subject. If you’re thinking about your partner rather than a fluffy baby animal, there may be better words to help voice and understand your feelings, especially if your partner has expressed displeasure with a word like cute. By mixing things up, you can keep the mood light and playful. Adorable or charming might be more appropriate for a friend’s baby, while gorgeous or attractive could be more appropriate for a romantic partner who is too cute.
Sex toys and other sexy ways to spice up your relationship
If you feel like your relationship is lacking, or you’d like to spice up your sex life with your partner, some simple steps can steer you in the right direction. Here are some tips on how to spice up your relationship that may be helpful:
If your sex life feels flat or you want to try and get back to great sex, try introducing something new, like a sex toy. Making the first move or planning a hot and romantic date around exploring something different can be both exciting and fun. Sex toys come in all different shapes and sizes, and they may have different purposes, so browse around to ensure you find a sex toy that works for you and your partner. Consider discussing introducing a sex toy with your partner before buying one
Try new things together, both in bed and outside of the bedroom
Practice self-care physically and mentally
Appreciate your partner and examine your emotional satisfaction with your relationship
Is cute aggression bad?
Cute aggression refers to the feeling we get when we view something cute. When our brains see something we perceive as cute, we sometimes feel a somewhat contradictory urge to be aggressive toward it in some way: biting, squeezing, or whatever the case may be. It’s an unusual phenomenon and one that science is still coming to understand fully. It is not bad or good, just an urge that should be controlled with fragile little things, like babies.
Finding something or someone cute isn’t inherently a bad thing, but in intimate relationships, sometimes we may fear that words like “cute” mean that we aren’t attractive to partners. If you feel like your relationship has become lackluster and wonder how to spice up your relationship, you’re not alone.
Here are some tips to possibly spice up your relationship:
Try new things together, in and out of the bedroom; it could be a fun cooking class, a new sex toy, or whatever feels right for a night of excitement
Communicate openly about how you feel to your partner
Practice self-care; find ways to feel beautiful in your skin
Some romantic inclinations that may seem aggressive at first can feel more natural as we age and get more comfortable in our relationships. Relationships change, and so do the ways we express ourselves. A change in your relationship or sex life, especially over a long period of time, isn’t necessarily a cause for alarm. It can be challenging to lack a sexual connection or feel like you aren’t sexually appealing to your partner.
What emotion is cute?
Different emotional responses and behaviors might be perceived as cute by others. For example, happiness, giddiness, excitement, laughter, and other similar behaviors and emotions may be perceived as cute or attractive; they also might be the way you feel after witnessing something you find cute.
These sorts of emotions are great during the day, but feeling like you’re not attractive can be problematic when it comes to an intimate relationship. It may lead you to wonder how to spice up your relationship or keep things exciting. If you’re wondering how to spice up your relationship (whether it be in terms of communication or your sex life [maybe try out a sex toy]), it’s a good idea first to communicate how you feel partner facilitate an honest discussion about the topic.
Here are some tips to spice up your relationship and keep things interesting:
Try new things together both in and outside the bedroom. Trying a new hobby can spice up your sex life by introducing new elements, like sex toys.
Embrace some spontaneity; go to new places, try new foods, and do things that make you happy even if they’re outside your comfort zone; consider trying a sexual fantasy or going on a trip that the two of you frequently talk about
Surprise your partner, even if it’s just in little ways
Put in special efforts or do things that you know your partner likes: skin makeup, hair, outfits, etc.
If you’re wondering how to spice up your relationship, feel more sexually attractive, or otherwise improve your relationship, you aren’t alone. There’s more to relationships than sexual attraction and great sex, and sometimes improving other areas of our lives naturally improves the relationship as well. Cute and sexy are not necessarily mutually exclusive, so talk to your partner if their compliments bother you, and you may find reassurance anyway.
How do I know if I am cute?
Why do people call me cute?
What age is cutest?
What makes a girl look cute?
Is it OK to call a woman cute?
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