What Does Love Feel Like, And Why Is It Important?
How would you describe “love” or what it feels like to be in love? Love is something that can often be very hard to describe accurately. It's something that we know is there, but it can be difficult to find the right words for. What does it actually feel like to experience love for someone else or to be loved by someone else? While different people can experience love differently, in this article, we’ll explore a few different ways to describe this feeling.
What does love feel like?
The exact experience and feeling of love can vary from one person to the next, but below, we’ll explore some common feelings that may arise when you love someone else, and when someone else loves you.
What does it feel like to love someone else?
When you feel love for someone else, what is that like? You may feel like you have someone that you can enjoy spending time with and enjoy talking about. You tend to think about them, worry about them, get excited for them, or sad for them, and you feel like you have someone important in your life. Just being able to love them can feel like a positive, warm, fulfilling experience.
Loving someone else can often come naturally to us. We may not consciously think about loving our family or developing a love for a friend. It's often something that tends to sneak up on you, and you find yourself feeling it without really knowing where it came from or when it happened. But it can be a very good surprise, and you probably find yourself happy that you have those strong feelings for someone.
What does it feel like to be loved?
What about the love that other people feel for you? What does that feel like? When someone else loves you, there's even less control on your part. You have no say in how they feel about you and whether or not they love you, but it can be a very exciting feeling when you know that they do. Knowing that someone cares deeply about you and that they care about whether you're happy or not can make you feel seen, appreciated, valued, special, and important.
Being loved by different people may also feel differently, such as the love from a family member versus the love from a friend versus the love from a long-term romantic partner. But no matter the source, it tends to make us feel happy to know that someone loves us, and that happiness can carry over to a range of different things in our lives. Whether your happiness leads you to take more chances, explore new options, or anything else, it's likely going to impact your life in some different ways.
Understanding the power of love
Love can be complicated and confusing, both when trying to love someone else and to be loved in return. We often don’t know why exactly someone might love us or not, or what we could do to make them love us more. Often, the most you can do is to be true to yourself, be kind and loving to yourself and to others, and be open to connections with people as they come. When it comes to love, there is a lot that can be outside of our control, but doing these things can be a strong start.
Love in relationships
Love can often be especially confusing in romantic relationship. Many people think that romantic love feels like those butterflies you get in your stomach when you see the person looking at you, when you hear their name, or when your hands brush against each other for the first time. You may think that romantic love is the feeling of electricity that you get when you experience all of your firsts with each other.
Often, in a long-term relationship, that initial “electric” love evolves from something fresh and exciting into something deeper and more complex; but this shift in how love feels can be discouraging for some people. Some of us may feel that if we no longer have that initial feeling of excitement that we had in the beginning, we no longer have love; when in fact, many times, the love has just grown and evolved and now looks different.
How romantic love can evolve over time
As a relationship progresses and you become more and more comfortable with that other person, often those initial exciting feelings of "love" may start to fade. Maybe you no longer get weak in the knees when you kiss them, or they aren't the first thing you think about when you wake up, and sometimes you can be so frustrated by them that you don’t want to be with them every waking moment, like when your relationship first started.
When those initial feelings, often described as young love or puppy love, wear off, they may think that the love is gone. Some people may start to think that they are with the wrong person at this point. They may think that they must have fallen out of love with that person somewhere along the way. In reality, they may have just moved to a different stage of love.
Love can have different stages
When you are in a relationship with someone, you may move through different stages of love. There are different ideas out there about how these stages can be broken down, and different people and couples may experience love differently. But, some of these possible stages can include initial attraction and falling in love, getting to know the person more deeply, and creating and cultivating an attachment.
Relationships can work through these stages at different times. So, it can be important not to compare your relationship to someone else's. If they are still in that first stage where everything is exciting, and you are in the middle of a trying time in your relationship, you may be led into thinking that your love is not as strong. When, in fact, you may just be in a different stage.
Moving from one stage to the next can be disorienting sometimes, as the sensations, dynamics, and feelings shift. But leaning into these changes can allow you and your partner to develop a deeper connection and enable your love to flourish.
Exploring feelings of love with online therapy
Navigating love and the many intense emotions it can bring can be very confusing, even when it’s going well. If you would like further help in understanding love in your life and navigating relationships, an online therapist can help.
How an online therapist can help you answer the question, “What does love feel like?”
Talking about love, dating, and relationships can often feel very personal and vulnerable, and for some people, it may feel easier to discuss these topics in a space where they already feel comfortable. With online therapy through Regain, you can meet with a therapist wherever you have internet, including the comfort of home.
Plus, research has demonstrated the effectiveness of online interventions for a range of relationship concerns. For instance, one such study found that online couple interventions were effective in improving relationship satisfaction, commitment, confidence, communication skills, and more.
Therapist reviews
Continue reading below for reviews of some Regain counselors:
“Lakesha was absolutely amazing! She helped me find myself and realize my self worth in such a short period! I highly recommend her services she is FRESH and has amazing insight!”
"My experience with Priscilla has been immensely helpful in better understanding myself and providing me with the tools to see my life and relationships with more clarity and compassion."
Takeaway
Love can be thrilling, wonderful, confusing, complicated, and everything in between. If you’re trying to better understand love and how it can feel, you can start by reading some of the descriptions detailed above. For further help with love, dating, and relationship concerns, an online therapist can help.
What are the signs of being in love?
When you experience love for the first time, it may feel like your world is turning upside down. You may experience a range of signs and feelings when you fall in love that you can look out for. You might feel a rush of passion, a deep sense of connection, and growing empathy for your loved one. Common signs include a feeling of euphoria when you think about your partner, trouble sleeping, or even a loss of appetite. They may occupy your thoughts all the time, and you might find yourself drawn to the idea of a future that includes them. In the same way, your emotional connection might deepen over the course of shared experiences or even simple gestures. For deeper insight into these feelings, a family therapist can help you better understand the dynamics of love and relationships.
How long does it take to fall in love?
Each person is different, so it can be difficult to say how long it takes people to fall in love. There is no set time frame for falling in love that everyone will follow. Oftentimes, falling in love takes some time to develop as they build trust and friendship, while some people may feel that they can fall in love almost immediately. Falling in love is often influenced by past experiences, personal values, and emotional readiness. Over the course of getting to know someone, you may begin to notice a strong connection that grows into love. Thoughts of marriage may even pop into your head. Whether it takes weeks, months, or happens almost immediately, love is a deeply personal experience shaped by both emotional and psychological factors.
Questions to ask your therapist about falling in love
What does it feel like to fall in love?
Falling in love often feels like an overwhelming rush of intense feelings and deep connection. You might experience butterflies in your stomach, a heightened sense of excitement, and a strong desire to be close to that person. Emotions like joy, excitement, and even vulnerability tend to surface. Love often fosters positive changes in your well-being, enhancing your overall sense of happiness.
When falling in love, there's often a mix of physical attraction, passionate love, and emotional closeness. It's important to note that while these feelings may feel magical, they don't necessarily equate to true love. The distinction between lust and genuine connection is key. Falling in love may begin with chemistry and attraction, but it grows through shared experiences, trust, and intimacy.
If I’m attracted to someone, does that mean I’m in love with them?
Not necessarily. The science of attraction involves chemicals that can make you feel a physical or emotional connection, but it doesn't always lead to true love. Sometimes, it’s infatuation, which is a short-term phase driven by emotions. For example, you might admire someone so much that you think they are attractive. Love, on the other hand, involves commitment, mutual respect, and the ability to accept one another over time.
Alternatively, it might also be your sex drive — lust can attract you to someone, but that doesn’t always mean there’s emotional intimacy or the foundation for a healthy relationship. To know the difference, consider whether the bond includes shared goals, trust, and the ability to overcome obstacles together.
Does romantic love feel different than love for a family member?
Yes, romantic love and familial love are different, though both involve deep emotions and care. Romantic love often includes passion, physical attraction, and a strong desire for emotional and physical closeness. Familial love tends to focus on unconditional support, shared history, and warm feelings that arise from a lifelong bond.
If we add friendship to the mix, it can also be a deeply fulfilling and positive connection. However, the idea of any romantic entanglement with a close friend may not feel natural or appealing, as friendships are often rooted in different emotions and dynamics.
While all these forms of love involve intimacy and commitment, romantic love is more likely to include elements like sex and passionate love, as well as a unique ability to make your world feel brighter and more complete. Consulting a family therapist can help clarify these distinctions if you're feeling confused.
How can I find love?
Finding love involves a combination of self-awareness, patience, and a willingness to practice love in your daily life. Start by focusing on building close friendships and meeting people who share your values. Strong relationships often grow out of mutual respect, shared interests, and the ability to recognize and appreciate the good qualities in others.
It’s helpful to take care of your well-being and approach relationships in a healthy way. Don’t rush the process—love can happen unexpectedly when you least expect it. Whether you're seeking true love or exploring potential connections, prioritize open communication, trust, and mutual respect.
How do I know if the feeling is love?
You may know it's love if the feelings go beyond infatuation or temporary excitement. Love is rooted in commitment, deep intimacy, and the ability to accept someone for who they are. Unlike fleeting emotions or lust, love is enduring and involves genuine care for the other person’s happiness and well-being.
A good sign of love is when you're willing to support each other and work through challenges together. Pay attention to whether your relationship includes mutual trust, shared values, and emotional vulnerability. It’s also normal to wonder about your feelings—love is a human experience that evolves over time.
How to tell if someone loves you?
Someone who loves you will show it through their actions. They keep their word and demonstrate their love through consistency and reliability. They prioritize your happiness, listen to you with genuine care, and consistently show respect and support. Love often involves emotional intimacy, commitment, and a willingness to spend time nurturing the relationship.
Look for signs like meaningful gestures, their ability to play an active role in your life, and their dedication to resolving conflicts healthily. If someone truly loves you, they’ll value your individuality and work with you to create a strong bond.
Can you feel when you're in love?
Yes, love often comes with unmistakable emotions and a deep connection. You may feel a strong desire to be near someone and experience warm feelings when thinking about them. However, love is more than just a feeling—it involves shared experiences, mutual understanding, and intimacy.
Feeling like you’re in love often includes excitement, comfort, and the assurance that you can trust and depend on the other person. As time passes, those feelings can evolve into true love — a bond between individuals that goes beyond short-term attraction and infatuation.
Is love a feeling or a choice?
Love is both a feeling and a choice. Initially, it may stem from emotional attraction or passion, but lasting love requires effort, commitment, and the ability to recognize and nurture the relationship. Choosing to stay in love involves prioritizing your partner’s happiness and working through challenges in a healthy way.
For example, in marriage or long-term partnerships, love requires daily acts of care, patience, and compromise. While the emotional spark may draw you together, the decision to sustain a loving relationship is an intentional process. Science shows that successful long-term love often combines emotional connection with practical efforts to support one another.
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