What Is Tantric Love, And Is It Right For Your Relationship?

The terms “tantric love” and “tantric sex” often conjure a variety of mental images, as much of the common public knowledge on the subject is mired in misconceptions. Tantric philosophies are based on the strength and awareness of the intimate emotional and energy connection to yourself and between romantic partners. Read on to explore the meaning of tantric love, how to get started, and what therapy can do to help you build healthy intimacy in your relationship.

Exploring the meaning of tantric love and sex

Tantric love, also called tantric sex, is the practice of weaving together the spiritual and physical in a unique form of meditation meant to emphasize the crucial aspect intimacy plays in a romantic connection. Tantric sex is rooted in ancient Hinduism, blending the spiritual with the physical in a form of meditative exploration. Tantric sex is less about the orgasm than the journey of moving through sexual energy, spirituality, and intimacy with your partner. 

Surprising facts about tantric love

Some facts that you may not know about tantric love include:

• Tantric love focuses on the intimate connection between partners through mindfulness and celebration of shared sensuality. Sexual activity is often an aspect of tantric love, but it’s not usually considered the most crucial part. 

• Practitioners report that tantric sex drastically differs from desire-driven sex with the goal of satisfaction. Tantric love teaches you to savor the experience, fostering awareness of even the slightest sensations and details of your body. 

• Tantra traditions teach that the practice is sacred, representing the union of the creative and divine forces. Tantric love is a tool that facilitates balance and harmony with yourself, your partner, and the world around you. 

• Though sex and sexual activity are often involved, tantric love centers on the connection between body and mind. Sexual contact between partners is often the method used to connect to a profound awareness of each other. 

• Tantric practices can include ritualistic elements meant to help you and your partner achieve a heightened state of awareness. 

The origins of tantric practices

According to researchers at the British Museum, the Tantras are an ancient Hindu and Buddhist philosophy rooted in sacred knowledge dating back to the sixth century. 

The teachings can be interpreted literally and symbolically, but both understandings promote sexual rites to aid in the achievement of enlightenment. While you can practice Tantra without sexual activity, it is often the medium to engage in intimate exploration together.  Imma Ramos, a curator at the British Museum, explains that there exists a “tension between literal and symbolic [which is] part of what makes Tantra unique.”  

How tantric love can affect your relationship

Many tantric love acts take extended time and don’t focus on sexual gratification, so it may be difficult to understand why someone would want to invest the time. Tantric practices can strengthen your relationship's emotional and physical intimacy, deepening the bond you share with your partner. Studies show that deep, meaningful relationships can help partners to allow themselves to be vulnerable with each other, which may help explain the popularity of tantric love. Couples who practice tantric sex may show improved moods, healthier immune systems, better heart health, decreased blood pressure, stress relief, and improved sleep. 

Getting started with tantric practices

If you’re interested in exploring tantric love, these suggestions might give you some direction: 

• Educate yourself

Learning about tantric practices, how they work, and methods for beginners can help you explore the intimate connection you share with your partner. 

• Prepare your mind

Being present in the moment is an essential facet of tantric love. If you’re distracted or stressed about something else, it could affect how well you connect with your partner. Try meditation or other relaxing activities to help you clear your mind. 

• Set the scene

Preparation can enhance your tantric love experience, so ensure you have a safe, comfortable, quiet place to explore each other’s bodies and sexual energies. 

• Don’t rush the process

Tantric love is focused on the connection and the pleasure of the sexual journey you take together, so don't rush. Take your time to explore each other, focus on the bond you share, and be together in the moment rather than fixating on the culmination of your pleasure. 

• Start with sustained eye contact

Sustained and meaningful eye contact is frequently associated with tantric love. Studies show that extended direct eye contact can stimulate a heightened level of stimulus processing.

• Know your body intimately

Knowing your own body and what you enjoy can be a crucial part of tantric sex. If you aren’t sure or haven’t spent much time discovering what you like, you may want to consider tantric self-love and masturbation. 

• Learn your partner’s body just as well

Honoring your own body and your partner’s as the sacred vessel for sexual energy is a core tenet of tantric sex, so take the time to explore each other from head to toe. A full-body massage is an excellent way to touch your partner everywhere and learn what they like. 

• Touch the body with reverence

Tantric practices teach that the body is sacred and should be approached with reverence, whether you’re touching yourself or your partner. 

• Breathing exercises

Deep breathing exercises help you relax, center your mind and body, and focus on connecting your spiritual and physical forms. Tantric practices teach us to breathe deeply through the diaphragm by inhaling through the nose for five seconds before exhaling for five seconds. Many couples enjoy the increased connection of synchronizing their breathing and the intimacy of sharing the same air. 

• Exploration through touch

Your body’s largest organ is the skin, and it’s connected to thousands of nerve endings. Take advantage of the pleasure simple touch can provide and explore each other’s bodies. Pay attention to what makes your partner gasp or moan, and you could discover erogenous zones you may not have known existed. 

• Practice sustained eye contact

Slow, deep sex while maintaining eye contact can be an intensely erotic experience that lets you feel intimately connected to your partner. While many sexual positions don’t allow for eye contact, when possible, use it to help you be present in the moment with your partner. 

• Involve all the senses

Tantric love involves engaging all five senses. Not only do you touch your partner, but you also revel in the scent that is theirs alone, the sight of their body, the sound of their sighs and gasps, and the taste of their lips and skin. Increase the intimate connection between you by stimulating all the senses. 

• Find what makes you comfortable

Not everyone feels comfortable or relaxed while naked, but tantric love doesn't require nudity. Many positions allow sexual contact while one or both partners remain clothed. There are no rules for how you engage in tantric sex, so find what makes you feel safe and comfortable.

Here are some further suggestions for introducing tantric love into your relationship:

• Practice being present in the moment and intimately aware of your partner and yourself.

• Extend the pleasure with prolonged foreplay intended to build the connection you share and the moment's intensity. 

• Practice sexual positions that allow you both to feel connected.

• Try tantric yoga together if you want to build intimacy without sex.

• Explore and experiment together. Discover sexual curiosities and find creative ways to become closer. 

How therapy can help couples build healthy intimacy

Physical and emotional intimacy are at the heart of tantric love but desiring that deeper connection doesn’t mean you automatically know how to make it happen. Consider working with a licensed relationship therapist online through a virtual therapy platform like Regain. Therapy can help you establish honest communication to express your emotions, desires, and needs. You can also learn conflict resolution to work through problems together and coping skills to give you healthy ways to manage stressors. 

Studies show that online and in-person couples therapy offer similar benefits, with both research groups showing decreased symptoms related to anxiety, stress, and depression and increased relationship satisfaction. The record also shows that individual therapy is equally effective when done face-to-face or online. 

Takeaway 

Tantric love increases the emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship, leading to an intense, pleasurable connection with your partner. The information provided in this article offers insight into the meaning of tantric love, how you can practice it with your romantic partner, and the assistance therapy can provide as you work to build intimacy together.