Eight Signs A Married Male Coworker Likes You

Working with people you like can make things so much easier. When you have a good rapport with your coworkers, it allows you to get through your day faster. You might find that one coworker seems to like you a bit more than the others, though—perhaps as more than a colleague or friend. You might be worried that he’s attempting to come onto you, which can be a tricky situation to be in. This can be an especially complicated and uncomfortable situation if your coworker is married. How do you know whether this is the case, though?

People definitely have different ways of interacting with others, and some individuals are particularly friendly or outgoing in general. There’s usually nothing wrong with that. But if you suspect that something more is going on, you could very well be onto something; and as a result, you might want to know what to look out for. What are the signs a married man likes you more than a friend? Listed below are eight signs that a married male coworker—or a coworker of any gender, for that matter—could be pursuing you. These can also be signs coworkers are attracted to each other. Some of these might seem innocent at first, but, especially if several signs are present, they could be proof that this individual has eyes for you.

He makes lots of eye contact

Does the coworker in question frequently lock eyes with you? People typically direct their eyes toward something (or someone) they’re focused on. Sometimes, they will make more eye contact than usual when they're enamored with someone. If the eye contact seems protracted or too frequent, he could be attempting to get your attention.

Conversely, a male coworker who avoids your gaze—or looks at you often but quickly turns away when you notice—could be interested but might be nervous about showing it. Note that everyone makes and experiences eye contact differently, and of course, there are various reasons as to why someone might look your way; so, there could be another explanation for this. Especially when combined with other signs or gestures, it’s a possible indicator.

He tries to spend time alone with you

You may find that people who are interested in you will often try to come up with reasons to be alone with you. If a married male coworker hopes to date you or catch your interest, he might express this when you are alone so that no one else sees. He may create opportunities for this by calling you into his office for no real reason, trying to work with you specifically on multiple projects, getting you to meet up “for work” and not talking about work at all, and so on. In this case, he might be using his working relationship with you as an excuse to see you one on one. Again, context matters, but if a person comes up with reasons to get you alone often, you can take it as a possible sign that they like you romantically.

He regularly asks you about your love life

If a person starts asking you about your love life, it could be a sign that they are interested in you. It is possible that your coworker simply wants to get to know you or is making small talk. But, consistently inquiring about dates, your partner, etc., could be a sign of attraction. Likewise, he might be more subtle about things when trying to find out about your relationship status (e.g., asking questions about your plans for the weekend, inquiring about where you got your jewelry).

He shows physical signs/body language

There are many physical signs that a person may be into you. Pay attention to body language, especially if you’ve already noticed other things that clue you in.

You might notice him staring at you from across the room. He might get a little nervous or particularly perky and happy whenever you're near him as well. Some people even smile more often when they're in the presence of someone for whom they have developed feelings. He may also preen, lean in closer, or part his lips. If this coworker seems to be exhibiting these physical signs, then there is a chance that he likes you.

He compliments you a lot

You might notice that this coworker seems to always compliment your appearance. It makes sense for someone who is interested in you to tell you that they think you're attractive. If this individual seems to compliment you every single day—or if the compliments seem intense or flirty in nature—then there is likely a reason for it. Of course, some people might compliment coworkers at the office innocently from time to time. Try to pay attention to the frequency of the compliments and what he’s saying. You might find that he is fixated on complimenting a specific part of your body or commenting on your clothing every day. If compliments become inappropriate in any way, don't be afraid to contact human resources or get help from someone else.

He buys you gifts

Another way that people show their affection is through buying gifts. Do you notice that he buys you things out of the blue? These don’t necessarily have to be traditional romantic gifts; he could be buying your coffee or snacks when he comes into work. You might notice that he doesn’t buy these things for the other people in the office. This could be a sign that he is pursuing you in some way. You might want to be wary of the gifts, or you could discourage him from buying you things.

If he’s actually buying you more expensive items, then this could lead to some uncomfortable situations. In most cases, buying a coworker expensive jewelry or clothes is inappropriate. It could even be an attempt to make you feel guilty about turning him down in the future. Know that no matter what you choose to do with said gifts, you do not owe this person anything. If you are uncomfortable with the gift and feel comfortable declining it, do so.

He flirts blatantly

Some people might be so bold that they will blatantly flirt with you even though you know that they are married. Is this man flirting with you somewhat regularly? Are you having a hard time determining whether he is just a really friendly guy? Sometimes it can be hard to tell, but it may help to keep the context in mind. If some of the comments seem romantic or sexual in nature, then it may become more obvious that he is flirting with you.

Some people might take things too far in a very overt way and wind up touching you without consent. Remember that you have every right to take action if the individual’s behavior makes you feel uncomfortable. No person should have to put up with sexual harassment of any kind. If you feel uneasy at any time, tell someone, even if the person is in a position of authority. Such behavior is inappropriate and should never be tolerated by an organization.

Sexual harassment is never excusable or okay. Click here to learn more about sexual harassment, or contact the RAINN hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE (4673) for advice, support, information, and other resources. The hotline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

He gives you preferential treatment

If the married man in question happens to be your superior at work, then he might even start giving you preferential treatment. Is your boss always giving you the easiest jobs? Do they seem to give you days off whenever you want them? Perhaps they offer you a raise or a promotion when you haven't earned it. Some individuals who are in positions of authority will use their power to try to attract those they are interested in romantically.

This doesn't mean that you should second-guess your accomplishments at work, but rather be aware of some of the signs. It could be an indication that he likes you quite a bit. Equitable treatment matters in the workplace, and often, if a person is singling you out or treating you differently—especially if it’s in a way that’s noticeable or makes you feel discomfort—something’s likely going on.

What to do if a married male coworker likes you

Again, the above signs don’t necessarily mean that your male coworker likes you—they are just examples of indicators to look out for. And if he is attracted to you, it’s possible that he will not act on it beyond those signs. Even if your coworker crush doesn’t seem to be asserting his feelings directly, you do not have to tolerate inappropriate behavior. In the case that you are uncomfortable with a male coworker’s actions, know that your feelings are valid. Consider going to human resources, confiding in a superior, and taking any other appropriate steps given your unique workplace and situation. You deserve to be comfortable and have productive, appropriate relationships at work.

Online counseling might be able to help

Whether you’re looking for support with something that’s going on at work, in romance, or in any other area of life, a mental health provider may be able to help. You can find a therapist to work with in a face-to-face setting or sign up for an online platform like Regain. When you sign up for the Regain platform, you can match with an experienced therapist in the span of as little as a few hours or a few days. All that you have to do to get started is fill out a short questionnaire.

Therapy is a place where you can get professional assistance from someone who isn’t a part of your day-to-day life, which can be advantageous when you want to address sensitive concerns such as those related to your job and interpersonal relationships. If adding a therapist to your support system feels like something you could benefit from, take action and sign up for online therapy or reach out to someone in your area today. Online therapy through Regain is affordable, safe, and convenient which may give you the flexibility you need. Plus, online therapy has been repeatedly proven to deliver the same results as in-person care for most conditions.