Couples Therapy And Travel: And The Benefits Of A Couples Counseling Retreat
Couples who have been together for a long time often discover that maintaining a happy relationship takes effort. Many of them turn to couples therapy for guidance, which is helpful in lots of cases. However, sometimes it can be hard to get the full benefits of counseling when the pressures and distractions of ordinary life keep demanding your attention. That’s where a couples counseling retreat can help.
A couples retreat is an immersive, intensive experience that can feel like a combination of a vacation and a therapy session. Attendees stay for a day or two in a relaxing location where they can focus entirely on connecting with each other. This process often allows participants to confront their relationship issues in more depth than an hour-long therapy session allows. Keep reading to learn what a couples retreat could do for you and your partner.
What is a couples counseling retreat?
The basic idea behind a couples retreat is to set aside a substantial chunk of time to work on your marriage or partnership with no distractions. A typical couples therapy session lasts 45-60 minutes, limiting how deep your discussions on any specific issue can go.
Your therapist will often give you exercises to perform between sessions so you can continue working on your relationship full-time. Yet day-to-day life is full of other demands on your time and attention. Between dealing with work, bills, chores, children, and other family obligations, many couples have a hard time remembering to apply the lessons learned in relationship therapy. Some may find themselves skipping sessions entirely.
A couples retreat takes you away from the usual pressures, responsibilities, and interruptions. While the event is in progress, your only task is to improve the way you relate to your partner or spouse. This focused, dedicated time may enable you to come to new insights or overcome blocks in your relationship that you find hard to address amid your daily routine.
Targeted couples counseling retreats
Some couples therapy retreats may target specific types of relationship challenges. For example:
- Lack of emotional vulnerability
- Communication challenges
- Infertility
- Aging and menopause
- Retirement
- Chronic anger
- Sexual dysfunction or dissatisfaction
- “Empty nest” syndrome
- Infidelity
- Financial troubles
Other retreats may simply be meant to improve your overall relationship health.
What to expect from a couples counseling retreat
Couples therapy retreats can vary from one-day events at conference centers to multi-week stays in tropical resorts. Most involve at least an overnight stay, and many are designed to take place over a single weekend. If you’re currently seeing a relationship counselor, they may be able to recommend some specific options that work with your schedule and budget.
Couples retreats often take place in scenic, remote settings intended to promote a sense of calm. This isn’t always the case, and there’s no reason to think that a retreat in the heart of a town or city will necessarily be less effective. Of course, for many couples, the opportunity to visit a beautiful place while working on their relationship can be part of the appeal.
The retreat itself will probably involve a mix of the following:
- Intensive counseling sessions
- Exercises and activities to help you connect with your partner
- Wellness and relaxation activities such as yoga, hiking, massages, and games
- Periods of unstructured time for you and your companion to unwind and discuss what you’ve learned
However, most are attended by multiple couples, and some of the activities may involve discussing your thoughts and experiences in a group setting.
You may be thinking “That sounds nice, but what can it do for my relationship that ordinary therapy can’t?” Here are a few of the potential benefits of a couples counseling retreat:
Trying something new together
A couples retreat may help provide a much-needed jolt of novelty. You’ll be traveling to a new place and trying new things together, rather than showing up at the same office you’ve been coming to for months. This may help restore some of the passion that’s been lacking in your relationship.
Intensive quality time
Another factor that may drive a wedge between partners is the simple fact that they get very little time to themselves. When your interactions with one another happen mostly in the handful of hours between work and bedtime, your sense of intimacy may fade. It might seem like a no-brainer that spending more time talking would help you feel closer as a couple, yet it’s not always easy to prioritize quality time.
This can be an enriching experience that lays the groundwork for a renewed sense of closeness.
Developing new techniques and exercises
Even if you’ve been attending couples therapy for months or years, there may be lots of therapeutic techniques you haven’t yet tried. Couples therapy retreats may offer a wide variety of exercises designed to help you:
- Evaluate your relationship patterns
- Work through your emotions
- Build affection between you and your partner
Often, these will be things you’ve never encountered in your ordinary counseling sessions. You may find that one of these new approaches provides the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for. They may also teach you helpful new techniques you can continue practicing after the retreat is over, such as meditation or positive visualization.
Learning from other couples
As we mentioned above, couples retreats aren’t usually solo affairs. You’ll usually be accompanied by at least a few other couples. This may feel uncomfortable at first, but it can also be a valuable learning experience.
By hearing about the challenges other couples have faced in their relationships, you may be able to see your own in a new light. Observing an unhealthy dynamic in another couple may clue you in to the fact that the same thing is happening between you and your loved one.
Time and space for deep discussions
By attending a couples retreat, you’re setting aside a focused chunk of time to address the pressing issues affecting your marriage or partnership. That’s an opportunity you may not have very often in your daily routine. Many people wind up cutting important conversations short or putting them aside for later, letting the stress build up until it erupts in fights about unrelated issues.
At a couples counseling retreat, you’ve removed any excuses not to have the hard but necessary conversations you avoid in other settings. There are no errands to run, no kids to feed, and no job you need to get up early for the next day. Instead, it’s just you and the person you’re trying to reconnect with. This can allow you to talk in much more depth about your relationship than you can manage in a couples therapy session.
How to participate in couples therapy outside of an office
A couples counseling retreat can often help you uncover useful insights, learn new skills, and possibly even help you rekindle the spark in your relationship. However, it likely can’t take the place of long-term counseling. Despite the limitations of couples therapy that we discussed above, it provides an excellent way to put in the steady, long-term work that’s often needed to fix damaged relationships.
Online couples therapy
If you’re not sure how you can fit therapy into your schedule, why not try online counseling? This approach lets you meet with a relationship counselor from home (or anywhere with an Internet connection), which often makes regular attendance easier.
The evidence suggests that this form of couples counseling can be just as helpful as face-to-face sessions. For example, one randomized trial published in Frontiers in Psychology found no difference in the effects of Internet and in-person couples counseling. Both groups showed significant improvement in both mental health and relationship satisfaction that persisted after the end of treatment.
Takeaway
A couples counseling retreat can give you a structured timeperiod to work on healing your relationship in a relaxed and comfortable setting. It can be an opportunity to deepen the work you’re doing in regular couples counseling, and it may be a chance to learn something new about yourself, your partner, or both.
Frequently asked questions (FAQ)
Do marriage retreats work?
Marriage retreats work when done properly. Studies show that marriage retreats are a great way to restore couples in crisis and bring their relationship back to life. Research also shows that undertaking intensive retreats like marriage counseling retreats positively impacts 70% of couples. Such an intensive retreat goes a long way to help couples experiencing relationship challenges. Going on an intensive retreat that includes marriage counseling is one way to be more intentional and strategic about growing and improving your relationship with your partner. Couples retreats, otherwise known as marriage retreats, or marriage counseling retreats, are exclusive vacations for couples that include special packages like counseling sessions and retreats.
If you are facing or witnessing abuse of any kind, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available. Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or Text "START" to 88788. You can also use the online chat.
Different relationship experts offer these intensive retreats for couples throughout America. There are intensive couple retreats tailored to a couple's unique situation and needs. During marriage counseling retreats, you get to learn about yourself and your spouse on a much deeper level, enhance your relationship, heal from past wounds, deepen your emotional connection to your partner, improve your overall sense of value and respect for each other, and enjoy yourselves away from the hustle and bustle of life. You can have a whale of a time with your partner away from your kids' disturbances. You won't have to think about cooking dinner or other responsibilities, so you can focus on healing and saving your relationship. These marriage retreats are better options than the TV programs you watch every night to unwind and seek relief from the day's stress.
Couples retreats are not only for married people or those in a common-law marriage. You don't have to be legally married before you can go on a retreat. What you need is commitment and love for each other, your future, and your relationship.
What do you do on a couples retreat?
A couples intensive retreat involves lectures, discussions, role-plays, exercises, and games. Couples can combine these activities with a romantic vacation experience as well. Some retreats may have a more spiritual approach. During the warm-up segment of your retreat, your facilitator will garner information about your marriage or relationship via a structured interview. Your facilitator may also help you to identify and clarify your goals.
Marriage counseling retreats can last a day or two. You can find marriage retreats in different group sizes. Marriage counseling group size varies from large groups of 30 to 50 participants to couples retreats tailored for smaller groups. Marriage counseling retreats offer couples a chance to get their relationship back on track while they take a romantic getaway away from everyday stress.
Whether a day retreat or one that lasts for a couple of days, a marriage retreat usually occurs in a serene, comfortable, and attractive place like a resort. This atmosphere enables couples to get personalized attention while reordering and rejuvenating their relationship. You can have a quick weekend getaway on a tropical island resort or near a winery to help create opportunities for intimacy and reconnect with your husband or wife.
What is the success rate of couples counseling?
New approaches to marriage counseling like the Gottman Approach and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) are achieving tremendous results. For example, Emotion-Focused Therapy has a 75% success rate, according to the American Psychological Association. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists reports an overall success rate of 98%. The high success rate of couples therapy has contributed to a steady decline in divorce rates in the United States. Counseling can indeed save and strengthen a marriage and help couples prevent divorce, but your marriage doesn’t have to be in crisis to benefit from counseling.
Couples that opt for Gottman therapy are called "Gottman couples." The Gottman method is a science-backed approach that seeks to help couples build love maps, manage conflicts, build trust and commitment, cultivate a positive perspective (seeing your spouse as a friend, not as an enemy), make dreams come true, and turn towards each other as opposed to turning away from each other.
Gottman couples may be beneficial for emotionally distanced couples on the verge of separation. If you opt for the Gottman method, your therapist may conduct a thorough relationship assessment before moving on to therapeutic interventions. Gottman-certified therapists usually have couples complete the Gottman Relationship Checkup. This is an online questionnaire that each couple fills out to tell the couple's therapist about the details of the relationship. It’s quite in-depth (over 400 questions) and takes 1-2 hours to complete.
After completing the Gottman relationship assessment, your therapist will help you decide how often to come to therapy and how long your sessions will be. Typically, for Gottman couples, sessions are 50 or 80 minutes. Through their research, the Gottmans have found that couples who consistently attend couples therapy every week for at least the first 4-6 sessions see the best outcomes. Gottman marriage and couples therapy has helped salvage many relationships teetering on the brink of collapse. Many people also benefit from seeking individual therapy alongside couples and family therapy. Family therapy can help you navigate challenges involving the entire family.
What can I expect from couples counseling?
There are many things to expect from a marriage counseling retreat. Couples can expect to learn powerful skills that will help them solidify and improve their relationship, constructively resolve their conflicts, and deepen their intimacy. There are many retreat options to choose from, and what to expect from a retreat depends on the kind of retreat you choose to attend. It’s important to note that no two couples are the same, so what works for one couple won’t necessarily work for another. For example, couples can choose a retreat that focuses on learning how to resolve conflicts, develop good communication skills, balance different personalities and traits, refuel relationships after an affair, or rekindle sexual intimacy.
If you love connecting with new people and feel excited in a group environment, you can go for couples retreats with up to ten people. However, working with other couples may not be a good idea if you want something more focused. In a couples retreat, sensitive matters are dealt with. Aside from working on relationship challenges, couples can enjoy amazing recreational opportunities like fine dining options, intimate moments at serene destinations, different outdoor activities, and more.
How much does a couples retreat cost?
The cost of couples retreats varies depending on your relationship situation, the location of the couples retreat destination, the expertise of the therapist, or whether you're making a group retreat or a retreat, a day retreat, or a week-long retreat. Day retreats are generally more affordable than longer retreats. A two-day retreat can cost $2,900 per couple, a three-day retreat can cost $3,900 per couple, and a longer retreat can incur an additional $1,300 each day. These costs include the marriage counseling fees and fun activities. According to a national survey, marriage counseling with a couples therapist can vary from $75 to $200 per hour. With a day retreat, counseling couples can have intensive counseling sessions without breaking the bank. You can contact the retreats you’re interested in to learn more about their pricing and packages.
Opting for a day retreat is cost-effective and ideal for partners whose careers and responsibilities don’t allow for a longer trip. Most couples have busy lives and can’t take an extended break. If you can’t attend a retreat but still want the help of a trained counselor, you and your partner can try a couples workshop. Couples' workshops may be singular classes, day-long workshops, or weekend-long workshops. Seeking support can make a big difference in your relationship. However, regardless of the type of counseling you choose, what matters most is how you practice the things you learned once you return home.
Questions to ask your therapist about couples counseling retreats
How can a couples counseling retreat benefit my relationship?
What do couples do on a counseling retreat?
Do I have to participate in couples therapy during a counseling retreat?
What happens at the end of a couples retreat?
What makes a good marriage retreat?
How do you start a couples retreat?
Can you plan your own marriage retreat?
What is a romantic retreat?
Are marriage retreats worth it?
What is the purpose of attending a marriage retreat?
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