Can A Marriage Quiz Help Determine What I'm Looking For In A Future Spouse?

Have you ever tried to imagine your life with a future spouse? If marriage is something you want, you might have a vague picture of what your future spouse might be like, but that picture might be a bit hazy. Could taking an online marriage quiz help you add details to that picture? While an online quiz likely won’t give you a fully accurate, concrete vision of what your spouse could be like, the broader concepts detailed in a quiz may offer a useful starting point as you brainstorm more about what you’re looking for in a potential partner.

Questions that can reveal qualities and traits

There are many different quizzes out there within the theme of “who will you marry,” and different quizzes have different questions, formats, lengths, and results. Many of these quizzes are in the form of multiple-choice, so the potential answers may be vague or far from what you would truly answer—making it unlikely for the end result to be fully accurate. 

But with those limitations in mind, there are some types of questions that may shed some light on the qualities you seek in a future spouse. Paying attention to the questions and the possible answers may provide you with some useful insight into your own preferences that you hadn’t considered before. Even if the following questions don’t give you important qualities of a person you want to marry, they might still give you a starting point.

1. What activities would you do with your future spouse?

If you are interested in playing or watching sports, you might desire a partner that could enjoy that with you, and so you could answer “sports.” It is also possible that you have never gotten into sports but would be interested in learning something outside of your normal activities. The same is true for any of the other answers that might be available. Going to music festivals, watching movies, visiting museums, or going to breweries might be some other options.

As you consider this question, you can ask yourself, is it important to you that you and your spouse enjoy the same things? Can you have different interests and still bond over one common activity? Knowing what you want in this regard also allows you to ask a potential partner their view on the subject.

2. Does your potential spouse enjoy large gatherings or prefer quiet nights at home?

Some couples may encounter conflicts when one partner is very extroverted and the other is an introvert. This is not necessarily a problem, but it can pose challenges if the two people have very different personalities and haven’t found ways to make these differences work. If you are an extrovert, you may think about if you would prefer to be in a relationship with another extrovert, or if you might prefer the possible balance of being in a relationship with an introvert. 

Two extroverts in a relationship likely feel as though a Friday night should be spent out with other people. If both individuals are introverts, quiet Friday nights on the couch may be preference. What happens when one person needs interactions with various people, and their partner needs quiet time alone? A relationship is certainly possible with an extrovert and an introvert, but it may require strong communication and respect for one another's boundaries. When you are searching for the kind of person you want to marry, consider that you may have to meld two very different lives together. 

3. What is the state of your future spouse's home? Clean or messy?

Consider what it would be like living with someone that is the complete opposite of your level of cleanliness. If you find joy in cleaning, you might be okay with someone that leaves their dirty clothes on the floor or trash on the end table. Or, you might be very particular about keeping everything clean, and living with a messy person would really bother you. Taking this quality into consideration may be important for some people.

It isn't usually a question that you would ask on a first date: are you clean or messy? This means that many people don't discover their potential spouse's home until they have been on a few dates. Usually, by this point, you have already decided if you like the person you are seeing. Is a cluttered home a deal-breaker? For some people, it is. You have to determine this for yourself to get an idea of the individual you want to marry.

4. What does your potential spouse do for work?

For some people, a prestigious career is an attractive quality in a person. However, others are more attracted to a person's drive or passion put forth in their careers. And others may find it more important for their future partner to have a strong work-life balance, than for them to have a certain type of job. Finding out what you consider important when it comes to a potential partner’s work can give you helpful insight. 

For some people, it may also make sense to consider the time commitment, travel requirements, or location requirements of their potential partner’s job. For instance, if you want to have kids and it’s important to you that you’ll have lots of quality time together as a family, it may be important to you that your partner doesn’t have to travel too often for work, or doesn’t have to work intense hours. These aspects are just a few thought points that may help you narrow down the pool of possibilities in a partner. Asking yourself these types of questions can be helpful in discovering the qualities that you most value.

5. How does your future partner treat others?

Seeing how a person interacts with others can show you what kind of person they are. While not all interactions define their character, it can say a lot about a person if they offer simple acts of kindness to others. Do they hold open the door for strangers or say thank you to their server? Do they donate to charity or turn their nose up to the person on the street?

Although each person will have their reasons for how they react to people and situations, exploring this question can help you determine the kind of person you see yourself with in the future.  While keeping your expectations reasonable, it can be helpful to think broadly about this particular question. You might leave it at, “polite and nice to strangers,” or you might consider broader qualities like “open-minded, empathetic, compassionate,” or whatever is important to you. 

How therapy can help

Figuring out what you want in a future spouse is just one piece of the puzzle. This process also involves meeting that person, cultivating a healthy relationship with them, and determining when you’re both ready to make a long-term commitment—all of which can pose their own challenges. If you would like support with these and other relationship concerns at any stage of the process, online therapy can help. Research has found online therapy to be effective for improving both relationship and individual functioning. 

If you already find yourself drawn to online marriage quizzes, you might like the idea of seeking help with relationship questions virtually. With online therapy through Regain, you can match with and meet with a therapist entirely online, wherever you have internet. 

Takeaway

If marriage is something you want, it can be useful to think about what you’re looking for in a future spouse, and it can be tempting to want to turn to an online quiz for answers. As you try to determine what you’re looking for, you may consider some of the possible questions and responses detailed above to help you brainstorm more about your preferences. For further help with these and other relationship concerns, online therapy can help.