I Have A Boring Husband! What Can I Do To Make Things Interesting Again?

If you and your husband have been married for a few years, it can be natural for the spark to fade a little bit. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other anymore; rather, perhaps it’s just easy for your romance and attraction to get buried under the pressures of everyday life.

But if you feel like you and your husband aren’t having fun together anymore, you might be wondering how you can rediscover the joy and excitement in your relationship again. In this article, we’ll examine a few factors that may be affecting your relationship and how you can support your husband while reigniting the spark in your marriage.

Is he depressed?

If you feel like your husband isn’t as much fun as he used to be, it can be important to remember that it might not be personal. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s lost interest in you or your marriage and it might not be as simple as “he’s become boring.” When people are managing depression, one common symptom may be feeling bored with life or losing interest in the things one used to enjoy. So, if you notice a change in your husband’s behavior, interests, or enthusiasm, the best thing to do could be to talk to him about it!

Maybe no one likes to feel they’re being depressing or bringing everyone down, so many people who have depression might feel the need to battle their symptoms in silence. Talking to your husband and showing him you care can be a great way to let him know that it’s safe to open up to you. By contrast, telling him he’s become boring lately, or even that you married a lazy husband, might have the opposite effect!

Has he been working too much?

Sometimes a change in a person’s mood or energy can be attributed to mental health causes like depression. But sometimes the change can be attributed to difficulties in a person’s professional life. For example, if your husband has been working long hours lately or he feels stressed, overwhelmed, or unappreciated at work, it makes sense that he might not feel fun or energetic by the time he gets home.

If you feel like your husband’s job is weighing him down or having a negative impact on your marriage, it could be a good idea to talk things through together. In some cases, this might mean that he should consider switching careers. Alternatively, the solution might be as simple as a vacation. The answer to this problem can vary according to each couple and each individual, so that’s why it can be so important for you to talk about your feelings.

Go out on dates

Whether your husband is feeling depressed, overworked, or otherwise, going on dates can be an awesome way to reconnect and engage with each other! When you’re in the dating, unmarried phase of your relationship, it can often feel easier to keep the spark alive by actively making time for each other or planning romantic dates. But after you’ve been married for a few years, that spark can get buried under the pressure of careers, household chores, and kids if you have them.

So, no matter where you are in your relationship, take time for each other by dating again! Make an active effort to be romantic with each other. Make each other feel special. Whether your marriage is having difficulties or not, this can be an awesome way to reconnect and renew your passion for each other.

Start showing more affection

If you haven’t been giving each other much affection lately, then try to make a change. It can make you feel good to get affection from your spouse, and your husband might be missing your touch. Even little things such as a kiss in the morning can brighten someone’s day. If you have fallen into the habit of just not bothering with these little signs of affection, then try to show affection in surprising little ways again. If your husband is feeling sad, stressed, or overworked, a little bit of affection could make him feel better in many ways.

Take up a hobby together

Finding a hobby you can both enjoy can be a great way to connect. Opposites often attract, so you and your husband may have different hobbies and interests. As a result, you may end up pursuing your hobbies separately when you could be having fun together.

This can be especially fun if you both have hectic work schedules that frequently keep you apart. So, dig deep and look for something you can enjoy together! If you met in college when you bonded over your love for a certain rock band, you could reignite that interest together. Or you could go to a taster session for something new, whether it’s painting, tennis, or an afternoon at a history museum.

In the end, it doesn’t matter what the activity is. What matters is that you’re spending time together!

Work on your sexual connection

Sex can be quite important in a relationship. You both might not be as interested in sex as you once were, perhaps due to complacency and low energy. But it’s possible to reignite your sex drives by taking certain steps.

For example, you could spice things up in the bedroom by changing how and when you have sex. Have you been doing it in just one position for many years? This can get a bit monotonous for both partners, so even simple changes can add a renewed sense of passion and excitement in the bedroom. Simply suggesting some new positions can change the dynamic. You can also take this further by exploring some new fantasies and other sexual desires as well.

Spice up your marriage with help from a relationship professional

Online couples counseling can also be a helpful tool for improving your marriage’s dynamic. If you feel like your marriage just isn’t running on all cylinders, you might have some underlying issues to address. Professional couples’ counselors know how to work with couples to get these problems out in the open. Once the issues are understood, you can work to overcome them together. So, if you haven’t had a lot of luck with renewing the spark in your relationship, then online couples counseling can be a very effective tool.

Online therapy is uniquely helpful because it can serve as a convenient alternative to traditional in-person therapy sessions. Perhaps you worry about the social stigma of going to a physical therapist’s office. Or maybe you live in a remote area or are worried about cost. Online therapy is an affordable and effective alternative to in-person sessions, and it can make a huge difference in your relationship.

Thanks to the convenience of therapy with Regain, you can connect with your therapist from anywhere with a WiFi connection. You can attend text therapy sessions by yourself or with your husband. Therapy isn’t a last resort and it isn’t just for people in crisis. The truth is that all people— and all marriages— can benefit from counseling, no matter what they’re experiencing.

Counselor reviews

Check out these reviews for our counsellors below.

“Cris Roman saved my marriage. His approach to therapy taught my husband and I the skills we needed to change the way we communicated and the way we understood each other. He is very non-judgemental and helps each person make sense of the others' feelings and actions without taking sides or placing blame. His ability to make you feel heard while helping you to see and understand why your significant other is acting a certain way is phenomenal.”

“Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Be prepared to engage and be challenged to think in a different way. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together.”