A Marriage Coach Can Save Your Relationship

Updated November 4, 2024by Regain Editorial Team

“All marriages have peaks and valleys, and it is always okay to get help. Involving an outside expert can be a safe, non-biased way to learn and grow together. Try to validate that it is a brave step to take, and a very wise one as well.” - Ryan Smith, LPC, NCC

As much as we love someone, they're never going to be perfect. There are also moments of joy in relationships. You and your partner will laugh together and have times which you'll treasure. However, there are also times that will be hard. You'll cry, and it will be challenging to find ways to see eye to eye on some issues.

That's why some people seek marriage coaching. While marriage and couples counseling can be beneficial, there's also something called marriage coaching. Marriage coaching differs from counseling. It can be helpful in supporting people as they work to strengthen or restore their relationships.

What is marriage coaching?

In addition to couples counseling, there is also the option of marriage coaching. While marriage counseling focuses on what happened in the past and can result in digging up baggage, coaching is about what's happening in the present moment. A marriage coach wants the couple to move forward instead of relive painful moments.

Marriage coaching is solution oriented. The couple may not know how to solve their problems, and that's what the marriage coach is there to help with, which is an invaluable skill. Each marriage is unique and has different strengths and weaknesses. Coaches recognize that partners will need something unique from their partner. An excellent marriage coach helps the couple figure out what the best way to communicate with one another is, and how to stay present at the moment.

What’s the difference between marriage coaches and counselors?

Learn who can best serve your goals

Seeing things differently

Marriage coaches can look at the relationship with a fresh perspective. They can show the couple how they view the marriage from the outside. As an outside party who cares about the couple, they can identify dynamics or patterns that the couples are missing because they're too immersed in their problems to see what could help. Having someone who can observe the marriage from the outside can be an asset. They're able to see both perspectives of the relationship and offer couples coping skills to manage their communication and intimacy issues.

A great marriage coach helps the couple to change the way they're thinking. Maybe one partner has grown to resent the other. It's natural to be resentful of your partner if you're not getting your emotional needs met. A marriage coach can laser focus on what each person needs and help each partner effectively communicate those needs so they are heard.

When you're thinking negatively about your partner, the way you view them won't be objective, and it will be skewed. One of the jobs of your marriage coach is to teach you to let go of resentment and view your partner in a different, more positive light. Assume that they have good intentions. Both of you are pursuing coaching to better the relationship.

Getting emotional tools

Marriage coaches are teachers. They teach the couple emotional tools to handle their problems and communicate better. Regardless of the situation, the coach is looking at how best to respond to an emotionally challenging scenario. If you and your partner are seeing a marriage coach, the chances are that you don't have the tools to connect with your partner…yet. That's okay, because your coach is there to teach you how to handle conflict, become closer, and strengthen your bond.

Providing accountability

When you and your partner go to marriage coaching, you will determine your goals for the relationship. You may even write those goals down on paper. Your coach is aware of what you want to accomplish in coaching and will remind you of those objectives.

You are responsible for your goals. The coach can't work toward the goals for you. They're there to keep you on track and make sure you remember why you came to coaching in the first place. Everyone gets off track sometimes, because coaching is not always easy, but when you have a marriage expert helping you, you've got support there to keep you accountable for your behavior and actions. You can keep developing your tools and make your relationship stronger.

Offering support

We all need support in life. Having a reliable support system can make a big difference in our attitude and outlook. When you're lonely, it likely means that you lack that backing. That's what a marriage coach provides you and your partner, a support person to guide you through a hard time during your relationship.

When your marriage is in a state of crisis, you can seek a mental health professional to guide you. You don't have to navigate your troubled relationship alone. It's helpful to have a person who cares about both you and your partner. A coach wants your marriage to succeed, and all three of you show up to make this relationship work.

Posing challenges

Marriage coaches challenge you. They do it lovingly, and often through tough love. If you're in denial, and you're trying to avoid looking at hard truths, a marriage coach is there to help you confront those truths; it can be transformative to your relationship and your life as a whole.

It's imperative that you look at things realistically in your marriage so you can make things work for you and your partner. Your marriage coach is interested in looking at reality rather than what you hope your situation will be in your marriage. They want to help you learn how to use the tools in your emotional toolbox.

Is marriage coaching a good fit?

There are many reasons why marriage coaching might be of high value to your relationship with your partner. If you notice the following thoughts, discussions, or behaviors, it might be worthwhile to set up an initial consultation:

You're fighting about the same things
You're discussing divorce
You hope things can be different
You're worried about your children seeing you and your partner in conflict
You're at a loss as to how to fix your marriage
You're concerned about the future

These are all valid reasons as to why marriage coaching can make a difference and help you and your partner. There are more reasons you could seek a marriage coach, and you and your partner can discuss the benefits of coaching versus counseling. The most important thing is to commit to resolving these problems in your marriage. If you want to address these issues, this is something that marriage coaching can help you achieve.

How will a marriage coach help?

Communication is on a high-priority list with your marriage coach. They want you to talk to your partner. They want you to resolve conflicts that keep coming up in your relationship. It's not your coach's role to give you advice, but instead, they will teach you coping skills to manage your conflicts in the marriage.

Remember that emotional toolbox? Your intimacy issues are essential. They'll help you stay in touch with the "now" rather than the "then. It's significant for coaching mainly to focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on the past. Marriage counseling is about working through deep-seated issues from the past that impact the present, whereas coaching is about looking at where you and your partner are right now. Your coach wants to understand the current problems you're facing and help you get through these challenges. Here are things that marriage coaching can help you do:

Resolve conflicts between you and your partner
Work on a sustainable marriage
Create the relationship you envision
Increase feelings of intimacy

Getty

What’s the difference between marriage coaches and counselors?

Learn who can best serve your goals

Online marriage counseling – does it work?

From money issues and health co-parenting to overcoming the loss of a child and healing from an extramarital affair, there are many reasons why couples might seek out the services of a marriage counselor or coach. Ultimately, either figure can adapt their approaches (past-focused or present-focused) to meet the needs of those who reach out for support.

It's a convenient option for people who are busy or need to have a flexible option when it comes to mental health services. Whether you're working with a marriage counselor or a marriage coach online or in your local area, you and your partner can get help.

More and more studies affirm the effectiveness of online therapy as a viable alternative to face-to-face therapy. The same truth holds within the couples therapy domain. In a recent study of four online couples therapy programs, researchers found that the online intervention was effective in improving participants’ relationship satisfaction, commitment to their partner, confidence level, and communication skills. Additionally, participants reported reductions in symptoms related to anxiety, depression, anger, stress, and poor alcohol use.

Takeaway

The mental health professionals here at Regain care about you and your partner. They want to help you through a rough time in your relationship. Online counseling is an excellent place for you and your partner to work together on crucial relationship skills that can deepen and enrich your life and partnership. You can work with a counselor or coach and strengthen the bond between you and your partner. Whether you're doing coaching or counseling, the folks at Regain are certified to help your marriage succeed.

Frequently asked questions

How do you become a marriage coach?

If you want to become a marriage coach, it's helpful to take marriage coaching courses. Though certification isn't required to become a marriage coach, it is beneficial and highly encouraged.

Marriage coaching is a goal-oriented coaching process that helps couples in areas like conflict resolution and communication. Premarital coaching is also available for those preparing for marriage. Premarital coaching will help couples get ready for married life, whereas marriage coaching will help people enhance or improve the marriage they're in.

Remember that coaching and counseling are two very different things. It's important to understand the differences between coaching and counseling if you’re seeking a marriage coach or are looking to become one.

A marriage coach doesn't have a licensure or the education that a psychologist, therapist, or counselor might have. If you're hoping to become a marriage coach, you don't have to enroll in an institution of higher education, but some coaches choose to study psychology or a similar field that can help them in their career before becoming a coach.

Through evidence-based care, a marriage counselor or couples’ therapist can help you to create and maintain a successful marriage. Becoming a counselor, therapist, or psychologist takes extensive training and education that coaching does not.

What is a wedding coach?

A wedding coach isn't the same as a relationship coach or a life coach. A wedding coach is someone who helps you prepare for your wedding, but not in the same way that a wedding planner does. A wedding planner is there to help you plan the tangible aspects of the wedding, such as decor, whereas a wedding coach is there to help you prepare emotionally.

Weddings are a joyous yet stressful event to prepare for, and a wedding coach can help you work through anxieties related to the wedding. The number of sessions you have with a wedding coach will vary, but wedding coaches are generally individuals that you'll see short term during the time you prepare for your wedding.

What is a relationship life coach?

A relationship life coach is someone who provides a form of life coaching that helps couples and singles in their love lives. Relationship coaching can help couples feel closer to each other and prompt them to move to a place of improved communication, understanding, and affection. When they aren't working with a couple, relationship coaches will work with people on an individual level.

Someone who provides life coaching that focuses on relationships can help an individual with intimacy, communication, flirtation, vulnerability, and grace in resolving conflict. This form of life coaching can help people learn how to navigate common concerns that couples run into in a way that works for them, such as those related to disagreements.

Again, when it comes to coaching vs. counseling, you need to remember that a relationship coach or someone who provides life coaching does not have the same professional skill set or background that a mental health provider does, and that may will be limited in the issues where they can help you with because of that. If you're looking at life coaching vs. counseling, it is important to be aware of what a relationship or life coach can help you with and what they can't.

How do you become a relationship life coach?

To find clients and actively become a life coach that helps people in their relationships, you'll have to put yourself out there. It can be nerve-racking to put yourself out there for potential coaching clients to see but remember that if you decided to go into relationship coaching or life coaching, it's because of your knowledge in the area.

If you want to get more confident in your coaching services, coach training is the way to go. Coach training can help you hone your skills, define your coaching process, and build confidence. Additionally, having the certification that a coach training program can provide is likely to help you bring in life coaching clients. Leadership coaching can help someone who wishes to become a life coach of any kind meet their goal confidently, and it can help someone to portray their mission vision and profession in the way that they want.

You can find life coaching classes that meet online or search for life coaching classes near you. The same is true for leadership coaching, which might be the route you take if you want to work with someone one on one to improve your leadership skills. Life coaching is an incredibly rewarding career, and if you're gifted in the area, it's absolutely something to investigate. Life coaching services can change people's perception of themselves and the world around them for the better, so know that what you're doing is important, appreciated work.

What do life coaches do?

Life coaches are there to motivate and support someone as they move forward in life. They are there to help people see their mission vision and goals in life come to fruition. A life coach will work with you to increase your confidence and will act as someone who offers emotional support and guidance.

Coaching and counseling can both help people move toward the life they want, but they are very different. If you are seeking help for a mental health issue or a life circumstance such as grief, loss, divorce, or something else, a mental health professional such as a counselor is the way to go.

A marriage coach is someone who focuses on people in a marital relationship specifically. A marriage coach helps those in a marital relationship learn about how to best embrace each other as partners. They might provide married couples with exercises or activities during coaching sessions to use both at home and during coaching.

Even happily married couples go to coaches sometimes. Those who see themselves as soul mates or who are in great marriages aren't immune to issues in their relationship, and when it comes to seeing someone who specializes in helping couples, a partnership doesn't necessarily need to be on the rocks.

Counseling, coaching, or therapy can all help you learn how to embrace your partner and relationship to the fullest extent, but again, it's crucial to discern whether you want to go to coaching or counseling depending on your needs and the vision of what you'd like to gain from sessions.

Life coaching is hard work, but there is a time and a place for it, just as there's a time and a place for counseling or therapy.

Why do you want to be a relationship coach?

A person might decide to start life coaching, marriage coaching, or relationship coaching because they enjoy helping others. Likely, someone who offers coaching services will be confident that they have wisdom to impart to others. Some individuals are naturally inclined to support and encourage people, and if you're that kind of person, you may find yourself looking into becoming a relationship coach, especially if you're passionate about building and maintaining healthy relationships.

While seeing a relationship coach isn't a substitute for counseling, many relationship coaches have highly beneficial services and are tremendously passionate about helping couples and individuals with their romantic lives. If you choose to go into this career, you're likely a highly empathetic person who possesses a great deal of knowledge and is enthusiastic about helping couples.

How do you become a life coach?

Life coaching has become an increasingly popular career path. To become a life coach and start life coaching, you need to decide what population you want to work with. Life coaches tend to have a niche, such as career, confidence, body image, or something else. It's beneficial to get a certification if you want to start life coaching, but getting certified isn't a requirement for those who wish to pursue life coaching. If you want to go into life coaching, know that you'll need to verse yourself in what it takes to run a business and to be your own boss. Consider reading up on entrepreneurship and getting a mentor. If possible, find people who are already life coaches and learn from their experiences.

How much is a dating coach?

A dating coach is someone who helps you when you're actively dating and isn't to be confused with a marriage coach. The cost of a dating coach varies greatly because, unless they work with a group or organization, they set their own prices. A dating coach might cost roughly $50-$100+ per session, or they might offer coaching programs with a flat fee that can be anywhere from hundreds to thousands of dollars.

That said, some dating coaches are more affordable than others, and the number of sessions you'll have will vary depending on your goals and your desire to stick with a coach you find. Something to keep in mind when it comes to coaching vs. counseling is that insurance doesn't cover coaching in any capacity, whereas it usually does cover a portion of counseling.

Additionally, life coaching, relationship coaching, and marriage coaching fulfill a very different purpose when it comes to clients’ goals. Dating coaching, marriage coaching, and life coaching can all enhance a person's life and interpersonal connections, so if it's something that interests you, there's no harm in giving it a shot.

What is the difference between marriage counseling and marriage coaching?

What do you expect from a relationship coach?

What questions are asked in marriage counseling?

How can I make my marriage counseling more effective?

What are difficult questions in marriage?

What is the most challenging thing about marriage?

What type of counselor is best for marriage counseling?

Previous Article
Common Marriage Problems And What You Can Do About Them

For Additional Help & Support With Your Concerns

Speak with a licensed therapist

This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.

The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.

Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet Started

This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform.

Top Categories

See all categories